Approximately two years ago my husband was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and about this time last year I was diagnosed with hypertension. The diseases run through our blood line and neither one of us did anything to prevent them. At the beginning of the year, my husband challenged me to a "No pop" fast, and I reluctantly agreed. I'm not a heavy drinker because, frankly, I … [Read more...]
Are Your Fears Preventing Your Kids from Exploring Their Passions?
“A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves.” – Banksy I was the poster child of a tomboy growing up. I could care less about my hair and often rocked braids and beads for that reason. I spent most of my free time climbing trees and outrunning the boys and girls in my neighborhood. One day, my family thought it would be a good idea to enroll … [Read more...]
What My Ex Mother-In-Law Taught Me About Myself
It started out as a normal day and then there was a knock at my classroom door. I walked out to find one of my coworkers, who then says, “Someone wanted to say hello to you.” I thought to myself, I hope this isn’t an irate parent… I’m just not prepared for a parent conference right now. I turned to my right and there she was… my ex-mother-in-law. As far as awkward moments, this … [Read more...]
Road To Reproduction: I’ve Decided…No More Ovulation Testing!
Trying to conceive is an emotionally & spiritually taxing process. I honestly thought that we’d be pregnant by this time. I thought I’d be nearing the end of my first trimester, planning baby showers and shopping Black Friday for baby related sales. It didn’t seem this difficult the first time. Over the last couple of months we started using Ovulation Tests to increase our … [Read more...]
Finding True Love Starts With You…
Often, when looking for love we start by thinking about what the other person should have... An education, a job, a car, etc. In my experience, the search for love should start with self. My first husband and I were together for all the wrong reasons. In my case, he represented safety and security because he was from the city that I was new to. He was much older than me and … [Read more...]
The “No Declarations Rule” Minimizes Resistance in My Marriage
One rule that Che and I follow in our marriage is the "No Declarations" Rule. On the surface it seems like its repressive and stifling, but the truth is, that it is one of the best rules we came up with. It forces us to be true partners and to communicate about all things, and especially those things that may have a profound impact on our marriage, household and future. When … [Read more...]
Road To Reproduction: Finding Joy Until Our Precious Baby Arrives
Note: Read the last article in this series here: Two weeks ago, my husband Che called to say he had a surprise for me. After agonizing all day about it because he gives such amazing gifts, I twiddled my thumbs and watched the clock. My phone rings. "Babe, can you help me with something, I'm outside." After running outside, barefoot, he hands me a dog pillow and a … [Read more...]
Did You Really Tie The Knot When You Got Married?
Tying the knot has been the symbol people use to describe getting married for as long as anyone can remember. There is even a popular site "The Knot" that people use for wedding planning. The knot is an interesting metaphor because knots hold things together, protect or keep something from falling and they are used to tie two things together. My husband and I didn't start to … [Read more...]
Blended Families Week: Why a Step Parent is a Bonus Parent
When I met my step son he was 10 years old, and my step daughter was 6 months old. I have to be honest, I was a bit nervous about dating a man with children. I didn't have any children of my own and in my own life I was not too fond of my mom’s husband. I wasn't coming from a total deficit though, as a teacher I had excellent training in child development and I never have any … [Read more...]
The Road to Reproduction: For the First Time, I Felt Empowered
Note: Read the last article in this series here: Che was able to postpone his work trip for a month so that he could be home while I recovered. I was incredibly grateful that he could be there. He would be the person to drop me off on the day of surgery and pick me up when I returned home. Dr. Haney does over 100 of these surgeries (pre-pregnancy TAC) a year, so I wasn't at … [Read more...]
Communication in Marriage; What You Can Learn From Your GPS System
Great communication in a marriage is like a good GPS system. Driving directions are announced well before they need to happen. When you hear "prepare to turn right" you know you can put on your signal and smoothly prepare yourself, your vehicle and other passengers for the turn. Without that announcement, you're forced to cut people off & you may even cause an … [Read more...]
The Road to Reproduction: The Due Date
Note: Read the last article in this series here. I spent most of 2012 attempting to allow myself to heal emotionally, spiritually and physically. I avoided most baby showers and as May 4th, my due date rolled around I was deeply depressed. I had signed up for e-mail lists and mailings for pregnant women while I was pregnant and it seemed like as soon as I thought I’d … [Read more...]
6 Characteristics of a Power Couple
While reading the article about this week’s Power Couple Marc Clarke & Allison Seymour on BMWK this week, I started thinking about what it means to be a “power” couple, and what the alternative would be. I then googled other black power couples and I found Director Salim Akil and his wife & screenwriter Mara Brock Akil, creator of Girlfriends, Moesha and The Game. … [Read more...]
The Road to Reproduction: Finally, A Diagnosis
Note: Read the last article in this series here. The morning arrived for me to go to the doctor. As I walked in, scrapbook in hand, she looked at me with tears. This was the first “female” doctor who I felt I really had a connection with. Besides my friends, she was the one who let me hear the baby’s heart beat for the first time. She was the one who gave me the May 4, … [Read more...]
Make Your Man Feel Good; 5 Ways to Show Appreciation to Your Husband
Being a wife is a special privilege. Every day you have the chance to make your husband feel like he's special, valued and desired. Sometimes life can get in the way. Here are five things that you can start doing to make your man feel good... 1. Massaging his feet Every two weeks you can find me with my feet in the pedicure bowl. My favorite part of the experience is the … [Read more...]