From the Social Media Couple, Jason and Kelly Krafsky:
Did you hear the one about the research studies that cited that Facebook is causing 20% of today’s divorces?
Press releases headlined it. The news media ran stories about it. “Experts” validated it. People repeated it around the water cooler and their social networks. And everyone talked about it like it was a real stat. Unfortunately, the joke is on all of us.
So how did we buy into the fastest growing, most widespread urban myth in the world?
It started in late 2009, gained traction over the next several months, spread like a viral YouTube video throughout 2010, and finally, after being repeated for 14 months, it took on its most recent form declaring: “Facebook linked to one in five divorces in the United States.” (Full story)
It’s the never-ending story – Facebook’s impact on relationships. Does it cause problems in relationships or does it exacerbate existing problems? Where are the boundaries? Is it fine to friend an ex or is that type of contact off-limits? What happens when couples don’t agree?
Has Facebook had any impact on your relationship?
Patti says
First of all it’s not Facebook, it’s the people on Facebook and their uses of this network. Why should Facebook make any impact on your marriage if you are using it for the right reasons and not to get your game on. I use it to encourage others and find old friends (like old choir members, family members). That’s not a secret to my husband either!
Patti says
First of all it’s not Facebook, it’s the people on Facebook and their uses of this network. Why should Facebook make any impact on your marriage if you are using it for the right reasons and not to get your game on. I use it to encourage others and find old friends (like old choir members, family members). That’s not a secret to my husband either!
FirstladyShonda says
I think it all centers around being honest with your spouse. If you know it would bother you for your ex to befriend his ex, than you know not to do it. Also, ask your spouse if they have a problem with it. If they say it is fine, the choice is yours. I didn’t want my hubby uncomfortable even though he gave me the go ahead. You know the old saying what goes around comes around. I didn’t want to have to make the same decision, because I would have gave him a loud, NO! lol
FirstladyShonda says
Of course, this can be a difficult conversation for most couples. So, that could be one reason they hide the FB thing.
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Anonymous says
Facebook is not the problem. The users of Facebook are. I don’t understand the rationale behind blaming a website for the demise of relationships and marriages. So, all of a sudden a website has the power to destroy couples? Nonsense. The problem lies with the person(s), not a website.
My thoughts on this particular subject is that if there were problems before they signed up for a Facebook account(s) then there will continue to be problems. If there was distrust and cheating before Facebook then it will continue or get worse. Facebook is incapable of making things better or worse for any relationship or marriage. People really need to stop blaming Facebook and pointing the finger at something that does not hold any power or make any decisions for people.
I’m happily married and both my husband and I use Facebook. We don’t have any problems on that site or with that site. We look at Facebook as exactly what it is — a website. It holds no magical power over us nor does it cause us to lose our minds and forget what is important in our lives.
Mrs. B says
I totally agree!!! My husband and I both have our own Facebook pages, and some of my ex’s are my friends. And there is NO drama!!!!!!!! If anyone steps out of line, I delete them as my friend, it’s that simple. I don’t check my husband’s page often, and don’t care!! I’m secure in our relationship, and as you stated, it’s just a website!
TheMrs says
Facebook is not the problem it is the users. However technology has opened up ways to keep in touch and find old classmates, love interests, etc….but it is still to the users discretion. 15 yrs ago someone wouldn’t have given their first love their home phone number where as today they can befriend them on one of the many social networks reopening feelings and the what-ifs while still not disrespecting home because they aren’t calling.
TheMrs says
Facebook is not the problem it is the users. However technology has opened up ways to keep in touch and find old classmates, love interests, etc….but it is still to the users discretion. 15 yrs ago someone wouldn’t have given their first love their home phone number where as today they can befriend them on one of the many social networks reopening feelings and the what-ifs while still not disrespecting home because they aren’t calling.
TheImageCoach says
Totally agree that it is not the fault of Facebook – it is entirely up to the USERS of Facebook! If you or your spouse were prone to start outside relationships before Facebook, it’s just easier to find the “old flames” now…before that, it was the chat rooms, the ‘hook up’ sites, and AOL. Someone with an intention to cheat will ALWAYS find a way…unfortunately, smart phones and such have made it even easier and some people just use technology as a way to hide or enable their nonsense.
My husband and I both use Facebook – and yes, we’ve had issues about it – but we talk them out and we make decisions together about limits on accounts and who we “friend”. It can be a conversation-starter, or a relationship-ender.
You decide.
Shelley Rodriguez says
So much heartache can be avoided with a simple straight-forward conversation with your partner about the boundaries and expectations. If you don’t agree on the terms, you must learn the art of compromise. It’s about seeing your relationship as more important than being involved with social media.
Anna says
Facebook has had no impact on my relationship with my husband. He has never commented on any of my status’. I even created his account. He has his friends and I can see from my own page who he has accepted as a friend. He will say to me “guess who I now have as a friend on fb? I tell him who the person is and he looks amazed. LOL. I told him everything you type and do I can see, and vise versa. I don’t check his fb page, if he checks mine, I don’t care. Evidently neither of us are checking for each other, because our debates are never about what we said or who is now a fb friend. I wish people would grow up and use FB for it’s intention, to connect without dialing a number I don’t remember.