As parents we must realize the capability of our children. When we fail to realize this, we can become overbearing and over-parent. You may be wondering, “How can we over-parent, our children need us?” Yes, your children need you. However, here are 5 Tell-tell signs of over-parenting.
Not allowing your child to maximize their potential.
No matter your child’s age; your child has potential right where they are. Potential to feed themselves, pick up their own clothes, choose friends, choose a college major, and choose a career. The potential within your child grows with each passing day. Your child needs the opportunity to bud and blossom.
Micromanaging your child.
Once you give your child the opportunity to bloom where they are, allow them to learn from the process. Instruction is needed of course. However, give the instructions then let them be. Repeat the instructions as often as needed – demonstrate, give examples. When they need help, they will ask. If they don’t ask, use your parental wisdom to know when it’s time to step in.
Not allowing your child to fail.
It is impossible to shield your child from all failure. You will drive yourself crazy trying to do so. There are valuable lessons to be learned with failure. If your child did not finish their science project as planned, please don’t stay up after the child has gone to bed and finish the project. Allow your precious baby boy/baby girl to experience those consequences of not following instructions.
Your child has no responsibilities.
From a young age children are ready for age appropriate responsibility. Little people can pick up their toys and youngsters can learn to sort laundry while learning their colors.
Having a responsibility allows your child to participate as a productive member of the family. It brings a smile to their face and instills a since of pride in a job well done. Children enjoy and learn from helping.
You can’t tell your child no.
There are times when you must tell your child no. Sometimes the word no may be followed by tears or even a tantrum. No one wants to see their child disappointed. At any rate, let your “yes” mean “yes”, and your “no” mean “no”.
You negotiate every conflict your child encounters with other children.
Mom/Dad you will not always be around to speak for them. Teaching children to handle conflict with siblings, classmates or even teachers helps to prepare them for life. These are lifelong lessons that begin at an early age. Teach them to speak for themselves versus you always speaking for them.
Many more examples can be added to this list. Over-parenting is real and can hold your children back causing them to be ill equipped to handle life. We want to hold on to them forever. However, in holding on, loosen the grip to allow them to grow. Allow your children the opportunity to maximize their potential where they are, so they are ready for the next level of opportunity when it comes along.
BMWK, Are you over-parenting?