Pat Robertson is at it again. This time the evangelical leader and host of the “The 700 Club,” a Christian television program that reaches millions of viewers around the world, answers a viewer’s question about how to forgive her husband for cheating. The “secret,” according to Robertson, is to “stop talking about the cheating,” and to accept that “he cheated on you. Well, [because] he’s a man.”
Before we go any further, let’s just deal with that statement: “He cheated on you. Well, he’s a man.” I wonder how many men out there are offended by this generalization that characterizes all men as cheaters. Are men born that way? Is there a gene called “cheaters” that all men possess? What gives, Mr. Robertson?
We know that men and women cheat. Not because of some fatal destiny, but because of a flawed decision. To cheat is a choice!
The religious leader goes on to say: “Recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander. [The wife should] make a home so wonderful he doesn’t want to wander.”
I don’t know about anybody else, but this makes men seem like bumbling idiots who have no control over their sexual impulses. They just wander around the streets clueless and helpless against salacious television, magazines, and Internet pornography, as Mr. Robertson describes the temptations. The distraught wife wrote into the show to learn how to forgive, but what she received was the excuse that her husband was “captured.”
Captured? Is this some science fiction flick? Mr. Robertson makes it sound like men are helpless prey and women are vicious predators, even aliens who swoop down and capture unsuspecting men. Whether it’s a stripper in a hotel room or a prostitute on the street, supposedly men need their homemaking wives to help them control their temptations by making the home more “wonderful.”
Needless to say, Mr. Robertson’s reasoning is downright wrong and dangerous. Not to mention it is foolish. I don’t care if he is a religious leader. All men aren’t destined to cheat or wander, and all wives shouldn’t have to suck it up and deal with it. And to insinuate it’s the wife’s fault because the husband is not happy at home adds insult to injury. It takes two people to build a happy home; two people to build a happy, satisfying marriage; two people who show up like grown ups and take responsibility for their actions.
The concluding advice Robertson gives the wife is to “thank God you have a marriage that is together and that you live in America and good things are happening.”
No, sir.
I respect the humanitarian work Mr. Robertson has done through his ministry, but if I am going to thank God for anything, I thank God Mr. Robertson is not my spiritual advisor or my marriage counselor. Forgiveness and foolishness are two different things. And Robertson’s advice doesn’t teach forgiveness; it teaches foolishness. To the woman who wrote into “The 700 Club,” choose wisely, dear sister. Choose wisely!
BMWK, what’s your take on Pat Robertson’s advice to the distraught wife?
nikia says
For one, it is insulting to men that there is little to low expectations of them to be able to be accountable for their actions and their families. To many men who work hard at maintaining their relationships, the added burden of people expecting them to have no self control is hard to get past. Contrary to popular belief, men do want to be faithful, and Pat is speaking ONLY about himself and his experiences with giving in to his flesh with women other than his wife, like the rest of his dementia having false prophets. People don’t have “reasons” to cheat, they have excuses. We are exposed to temptation all of the time, everyday. We also have choices. You being deceptive is a choice. Being a cheater is a choice. These choices lead to the destruction of lives and families, and he’s hurting more people with his misogynist advice than helping. Women today are not his mother.
Jeanette says
You hit the nail on the head with this! I could not have said it better!
Sundown says
It’s SO refreshing to hear a guy talk like this for a change. Do you realize how rare that is? This is how rare. I am on my 3rd marriage.
Mrs. Jones says
This is absolutely disgusting! But the sad thing about this is, so many women will listen to this crap and think it’s ok to give their husbands a green light to do whatever they want in their marriage. If the cheating husbands only knew, one day they will have to answer to God for breaking their vows!
Jeanette says
Ditto!
Al says
WHAT? He has got to be kidding?
Katharyn Gray says
I didn’t see this but Mr. Robertson “ticks” me off frequently with his “holier than thou” responses that are “Pat Robertson”, far more than they are “biblical”. I thought he would go below the radar when he made the prediction that “God had told him Romney was going to win the election and he called Romney and told him so.” This would have been the perfect time to remind the wife to remind her husband that a marriage is a “covenant” (not a contract) and each party should be able to walk in the trust that the covenant will be honored on both sides. She will be much better able to forgive when she knows that her husband recognizes the seriousness of this offense (and accepts responsibility) that he has broken this covenant and the trust that surrounded the covenant. Although the wife is in the position of having to learning how to forgive (and not continually throw this up in his face when angry or feeling hurt), the weight of rebuilding trust falls upon the husband. And he should be ready and willing to “go the distance” to rebuild this trust, understanding that a lifetime of trust can be totally and completely shattered in an instance. Grace and Peace to both of them.
Superwife says
Same lie, different looking devil. Pat Robertson has proven by his words and actions that he does NOT know God at all. If he were truly a “CHRISTIAN” as he wants folk to believe, he would not be telling these lies. All humans have a free will – and all humans, male and female can choose to be faithful or not. He only makes this statement (about men cheating) probably because he, his friends, and his sons and grandsons have done it and this is how they get their spouses to stay and not hate them. Cheating is always a choice.
Tofewen Exodus. says
we don’t need to bring in the deceptive doctrines of the world in the body of Christ. saying men are cheaters by nature is just out of context. one thing i will like the married people to understand is that faithfulness is an obligation to God and your spouse is the beneficiary. you might cheat and your spouse doesn’t catch you it doesn’t make it right but you have flawed with God. if this lady is seeking such advice it means there is a part of her that wants her man back and their relationship to be restored and the dirt cleared off for them to restore the beauty in their marriage. this lady has to understand that the devil will keep reminding her of that situation because deception is his strategy to steal people’s joy. i urge you to cast your cares unto the lord, forgive your husband and be more prayerful because the battle now won’t be between you and your husband but with your adversary the devil. she should always remember to be joyful for as soon as she gives in to the thought of it the devil won’t hesitate at jumping in. to the lady who asked this question please forgive your husband because giving up is never an option, don’t think of paying him back for God won’t take that as an excuse if today was judgement day. i believe Love is Given not earned, you made a beautiful decision in choosing your husband and that meant no matter what you will contain his flaws. i wish a blissful marriage life to you and to any facing this situation.
Bre C. says
I do agree with this article that all men cannot be put into a box and assumed that they all cheat. However, I interpreted Mr. Robertson’s spiel just a little differently. I see him saying to stop talking about it as that in order to forgive you cannot focus solely on the actual act of cheating. There are many things that we have to take into consideration when it comes to the decision of cheating. I do believe that is a poor choice that the cheater makes because their is something “missing” from within. But that does not make the person a bad person (depending on if they are a serial cheater). So in order to move past this betrayal you cannot continue to focus on the actual act itself. You must work look at why you fell in love with this person and who this person really is versus this one act that they have done.
As for the part about “him being a man”, I am not trying to make excuses for Mr. Robertson because he is a public figure and his words are going out to millions but this man is old and so his thoughts and morals come from the old school. Times where wives were to be like June Cleaver and as long as the husband did his duty of providing for his family then there should be no words about what else he does when his wife is not around. And yes women it is our fault because you did not perfect our household. I strongly believe that is a bunch a bull… and we have evolved but we also must remember not everybody is evolving with us. We all must be held responsible for our actions and the choices we make. But forgiveness cannot come in a marriage or any relationship if all we do is focus on the negative. Good article and great response posts.
JannaG says
If he is repentant…then absolutely it can’t be repeatedly held against him as they reconcile. If he’s not repentant, then reminding him of it or not is a moot point. Reconciliation can wait until he’s decided to stop putting her at risk for STDs.
Mrs. Jones says
Isn’t it common sense not to cheat when you’re married! Therefore if you don’t have common sense, you should not be married in the first place. People come up with so many excuses to why they cheat – like it was a mistake or it just happened. But I truly believe people who cheat in marriages are mentally unstable or they lack the ability to think as an adult and the sad part about most of these people are they have children.
Alicia says
I read the article and I loved the statement by Dr. Michelle Johnson “Forgiveness and foolishness are two different things. And Robertson’s advice doesn’t teach forgiveness; it teaches foolishness” I have to say Pat Robertson has been very disconnected these days, he also said in the article that “thank God you have a marriage that is together and that you live in America and good things are happening.” Like what Pat, My husband is cheating on me, and its not America but my WORLD that is falling apart because of these actions, and you are telling me to “thank God” (blank gaze). Sickening!! Its abuse to have to continue to forgive someone that chooses to go outside the marriage because they are a Man. That’s why there are so many “jump offs” in the church now….cus this behavior get excused by the “Heads” of these organizations. Sickening!!
phillip says
I can feel the “stick” Pat is getting thrown at. And you’re right to say he has said a few wrong things in that telecast. I just hope that in your quest to prove his wrong you don’t forget what he could have told you between the lines…….that the temptation to cheat will trap more men than women. I think that is what he meant. AND IT IS TRUE,take it or leave it! I am in no way exonerating the men who cheat or condoning their behavior. I’m not even acquitting them one single bit. But to think that women and men are the same sexually is to expect too much. Simple survey if you would. Take a sample of 20 men and 20 women and have beautiful ask and handsome men ask to sleep with them in private. The results should tell you the obvious. If you don’t see it throughout the pages of the bible,maybe society should give you a hint. If polygamy was biblically ok, more men would have more wives than women would have men,if polyandry were godly. Maybe you need to talk to some xtian men on a very very deep level.
Patricia Bryan says
he needs to retire. he is obviously getting senile. and the Bible speaks about leaders like him that will rise up as we draw closer to judgement day. Jesus said not everyone who comes in His name…is OF Him.
Kellee D says
I have only one word when I listen to this so call “spiritual leader” ANNOYANCE!!!
Ted - Hi John the Conquerer says
Ha. I can’t say I’m really offended by Mr. Robertson’s comment. I’m just like, “Wow, really? That’s you’re advice?…”
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Sophia41 says
Nakia and MRs Jones — AWESOME COMMENTS! And it’s good to know there are good Christian men and women left in this world who care about personal responsibility and righteous living.
The world and humans have a lot to learn about their own weaknesses. It seems that the social “norm” to morality has lowered its own bar these days, especially when so many vile criminals have been intentionally released and even go unpunished, namely powerful men and women in powerful positions who “buy” their way out of the evil deceits THEY IMPOSE onto decent people.
There are so many evil men, and even some of their wives who don’t want to deal with them (and vice versa), who just ALLOW and even intentionally allow their husbands to live as a “married” philanderer, even at great expense to the victims they create through their deceit and sexual addictions.
I knew of several “Christian pilots” who were serial philanderers. Their wives basically BRAGGED about it, like it was an extension of their sick ego too, especially in upper middle classes where husbands and wives are attorneys, doctors, law enforcement, nurses, military, etc! Most people picture them as hiding around, when there has become an evil sexual culture that exploits decency of human lifestyle.
The more “acceptable” the non-cheating partner is who allows it, including the damage to the unsuspecting victim of their partner’s sexual fancy, is the revenge to the more attractive “target” is part of the reason they ALLOW the cheater to cheat (as long as the wife or cheated spouse get to “payback the victim” (cheater’s target).
This “shameless” side of social acceptance of evil is growing, and it is evident in the statistics and in the news how evil is sucking most everyone into its vacuum, allowing worse and worse behaviors, even in themselves, NOT unlike the lot of Lot’s residents.
Sad state of affairs … on a global scale!
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