NEWS FLASH…This idea of “RELATIONSHIP” is not always a smooth ride! We must understand that even though love and relationships are always a risk we can do things to give ourselves the best chance of making them successful.

On the flip side there are things that we can do to make sure we have the most perplexing experiences ever. Sometimes, as a coach, I get so frustrated because I can see the crash coming as soon as the trip gets started.

However, I’ve found that too many people need to feel the impact of the crash in order to truly get the lesson. Well, here are the 9 most common things I see on the dating and relationship journey that can cause you to crash if you don’t take control of the wheel.

1) Being impatient

The faster society and technology move, the faster we want to move in relationships; but when we do this, we don’t get to know the person, we get to know their representative. We jump into sex in a matter of hours, relationships in a matter of days, and marriages in a matter of just a few months and then wonder why the person we married is totally different than the person we thought we married. SLOW DOWN!

2) Making unwise choices

So many times we get so caught up in the SEX that we forget about the SUBSTANCE. We get caught up in the CHEMISTRY instead of CHARACTER, and we focus on the LUST not knowing if the person is truly capable of the LOVE.

Another thing we do is jump into bad situations and then wonder why we are losing. We look for love with people who are already involved; we try to save people who haven’t saved themselves yet; and we try to make people love us who have no intention of loving us back. Not choosing wisely is a recipe for disaster so give yourself the best chance by not only choosing a person with shared values but by also choosing a good SITUATION.

3) Blaming more than working

Sometimes we get into relationships and marriages without understanding that they take continuing education and investment. Instead of doing that, we spend too much time and effort blaming one another for what’s wrong in the relationship.

The truth is that healthy relationships don’t just happen; you and your mate have to educate yourselves in order for the relationship to grow. Blaming is a waste of time.  Instead, start WORKING together…you will be much more pleased with the end result.

4) Holding on when you should let go

Some of us have been holding on to bad situations for so long that we’ve begun to think that it’s normal. Some believe that being mistreated, abused, cheated on, or not being made a priority is normal and thus we hold on. We hold on because we are afraid of being alone, or we are trying to “win” in a losing situation. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

5) Spreading the bad news more than the good news

What you feed is what will grow. If all you ever do is bad mouth your mate and look for the wrong in that person, then that will become the theme of your relationship. If he or she is really that bad then ask yourself…why are you still around?