6) Being more selfish than selfless

Too many of us get into relationships because of what they can do for us instead of what we can do for them. If your attitude is always about taking and never about giving then your relationship will crash and burn.

7) Settling instead of having standards

Sometimes we get lonely and frustrated with dating so we start settling on the important things and they come back to haunt us later. If you don’t have shared values and intentions then you shouldn’t be pursuing one another. SIMPLE!

8) Trying to change instead of accepting

If you are expecting someone to magically change just because the two of you get into a relationship or marriage, then you are wishfully thinking. Love is about accepting someone, not changing them.

So, if you have doubts about who someone is and your ability to be in a relationship with them AS IS, then you must RECONSIDER. Oh, and don’t go blaming that person if you ignore this fact and he or she just happens to remain exactly the person they have always been.

9) Seeking convenient advice instead of caring advice

While we all need a little advice from time to time, sometimes who you are seeking it from makes a difference. Sometimes, your miserable “friends,” or the homeboys around you who have never been in a healthy relationship, may not be the people to ask.

Here is a hard to swallow truth: sometimes we ask these people because we know they will give us the answers we WANT to hear and not the ones we NEED to hear. Seek some nonbiased help from time to time and you might be surprised at what type of insight you can gain.

Relationships aren’t always a smooth ride but if you educate yourself about the ride, take the right precautions, make sure the ride is safe, choose a good vehicle, and make sure you have some good mechanics on board you at least give yourself a better chance for a successful trip!

BMWK Fam what are some other things we do in dating and in relationships that set us up to have a bumpy ride?