One of the main reasons we get married is the way the other person makes us feel. When someone makes you feel good, you want that person to stick around, right? But as the relationship grows, it becomes deeper than that. It’s not just about how good the person makes you feel, but how well the two of you are together. Marriage unites people on a deeper level than feeling alone. So, if things start to go south, it’s easily noticeable. Unlike some relationships, unhappy marriage signs are easy to spot. But if a man isn’t in tune with his wife, he might miss a thing or two.

Unhappy Marriage Signs: Top 4 Reasons Your Wife is Pulling Away

In this article:

1. She’s tired of having the same conversation.
2. She’s feeling underappreciated.
3. There are challenges she’s facing outside of your marriage.
4. She hasn’t forgiven you.

Making love and marriage last takes uncommon effort. In fact sometimes, despite what was seemingly a good relationship, a woman can start to pull away and the reason why isn’t always clear to her man. The thing about pulling away is how subtle it can be. Unhappy marriage signs have a way of creeping up on a couple. It can start off with her being really busy with work, to suddenly spending more time than usual with family and friends, and then you wake up and realize that things between the two of you are no longer the same. Something is off—way off.

Of course, the easiest way to find out why the woman in your life is pulling away is to ask her. After all, no one can really tell you what’s going on like she can. However, if you find yourself completely clueless and you want to try and gather some insight before you have this conversation with her, maybe you should give some more thought to how things in your relationship have been recently. Even as a good man, it is very possible to overlook the little things that can ultimately have a big impact on your relationship.

Here are the top 4 reasons why your lady might be pulling away.

She’s tired of having the same conversation with you.

Nothing is more aggravating than having the same conversations over and over again because it ultimately makes you feel like you are not being heard. If your wife has been coming to you with issues and concerns, and it seems to go in one ear and come out the other, she begins to feel hopeless. As a result, she starts to feel like talking to you is not even worth the effort. Now if the concerns are so major she just can’t move past them, pulling away can start to feel like the only way to cope and be in the same space with you.

She feels really underappreciated.

This is one of those unhappy marriage signs that is guilt-heavy. I mean really, who wants to complain and come off petty? But, when you feel like your husband doesn’t appreciate and acknowledge things that you do, pulling away is natural. After all, if someone can’t offer a thank you or a gesture that shows they see everything you do for them, the desire to have them in your space all the time fades. And there is nothing unique about women when it comes to the need for appreciation. Men need to feel appreciated as much as we do. Even more so when you’ve gone all in and tied the knot. Appreciation goes such a long way and if we don’t get it, it changes how we feel about the person we want it from the most.

She’s having personal challenges that are not about you.

Sometimes the reason your wife pulls away is deeply personal and has nothing to do with you. Maybe she is struggling with anxiety or depression. Maybe she thought she would have more clarity about her career at this point and is trying to figure things out. She could even be struggling with issues with family members and simply trying to find the space to work through it. In any relationship, it is always important to think about what role you have played in how your partner is feeling but to also remember that sometimes it’s not about you.

She hasn’t forgiven you.

Pain is real and when someone has hurt you and you haven’t really processed the pain and reached a place of true forgiveness, pulling away is often the only way to cope. Sometimes you love someone too much to walk away, but you are hurting so much you have to pull away. So even if you think you worked through that time you wronged your wife, think again. Saying you are over something is not the same as true forgiveness. Forgiving is not always easy, and when the people we love most hurt us, needing space to process things can feel like the best option.

 BMWK family, what are some reasons you think a woman might pull away from her man?

Up Next: Woman Warrior: 10 Ways You Should Fight for Your Marriage

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on July 14, 2015, and has been updated for accuracy and relevancy.