Watch the two-minute video and tell us: Is the mom overreacting? Was the teacher dead wrong for her approach?
About Tara Pringle Jefferson
Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She\'s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she\'s too tired to remember.
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The mom is waaay overreacting. I’m 30. When I was in kindergarten/elementary school, this was customary as was sticking gum on your nose if you were caught chewing it in class. SO WHAT?! If he was behaving in a way that deserved discipline then what is the problem with him being a little embarrassed. (We really got to give the psycho-babble nonsense a rest. My child can’t be embarrassed because it will harm him emotionally. Please. Remind me about that when he’s serving 5 to 10 for armed robbery) If he was a little embarrassed then maybe next time he wont have to get in trouble for disrespecting his teacher and classmates by disrupting class. This obviously wasnt his first time being in trouble because the teacher was worried the notes weren’t getting home. Where was her trip to the principal office when the other notes were being sent home? Maybe if she spent more time collaborating woth his teachers instead of fighting them her son would stop getting notes sent home with him. Hmmmm.
SN: I’m curious as to what his GPA is and how much help he gets with his homework. I’d be willing to bet that discipline ain’t the only area she slacking on.
Bottom line: If parents are being parents at home, then chances are your kid isn’t getting in trouble at school…particularly in elementary school.
And no, ma’am, you are not owed an apology. Instead, you should apologize to that teacher for not steeping up to handle the problem in the first place.
I have to chime in here with your statements :
SN: I’m curious as to what his GPA is and how much help he gets with his homework. I’d be willing to bet that discipline ain’t the only area she slacking on.
Bottom line: If parents are being parents at home, then chances are your kid isn’t getting in trouble at school…particularly in elementary school
Both of these statements are really wrong. My son who is in Kindergarten LOVES to be the class clown and is one of the smartest kids in his class and I’m a damn good parent. Just because he gets in trouble just like the boy does not mean I’m not a good parent. His teacher will tell you and anybody else who comes in contact with my son that he is well taking care of. My son is strong willed and wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it.
Don’t you dare say WE are not go parents.
If the teacher had any kind of sense, she would ask the parent to sign and the reports and send them back ~now there’s a thought~ …she’s acting out instead of trying to deal with the situation. Come on people bring it back to the basics and stop being afraid to raise these kids. they are just that KIDS. People act like they should be some darling little angels running around…..NOT! this is not back in the day were kids had no personality…we taught them to express themselves now nobody can handle a child who expresses themselves?? come on people..get wit it
I wanted to address your comments in order but two sentences stuck out like a neon sign for me. So I wanted to speak to what you stated: “His teacher will tell you and anybody else who comes in contact with my son that he is well taking care of.
What does “well taken care of mean?” Does that mean he has great clothes, shoes, home, a cool room with all the bells and whistle’s, i.e. T.V., DVD, video games, toys, all the foods and drinks he loves at his fingertips, and everything a little boy could possibly want?
Then you stated, “My son is strong willed….” If he is strong willed that is just another word for a child who wants HIS WAY, or is ‘spoiled’. But what you need to know is, CHILDREN ONLY DO WHAT YOU LET THEM DO, ESPECIALLY IN YOUR PRESENCE. Children are not born willful, stubborn or calculating, etc. those are BEHAVIORS, and behaviors are learned and ALLOWED by the parents! If you allow him to act “willful” at home, he’s only taking what he’s learned at home to school, and getting into trouble, when he finds he can’t get away with the stuff you allow at home, in school! You are the adult, the parent, the taller of the two, but YOU ALLOW this WILLFUL behavior. My 5 children all had plenty of personality. But none of them were WILLFUL and as hard as we worked, none of them were going to be willfull at home or in school! If a child is strong willed, it is because that behavior is first learned by him, to get the things he wants. He learned how to act, to get what he wants. That’s not called having “personality”, just spoiled; again, a behavior parents ALLOW. Children are not born WILLFULL, but they are born very, very, very smart! They learn how to get those things that they like the most. They learn they can keep pushing and testing water with their parents, until their parents PUSH BACK/and or put their foot down, or their parents just give in, and the child get’s his way.
I see no time or space when it is appropriate for a child to be WILLFULL or stubborn when a parent or teacher needs a child to follow through on something.
What I don’t get is how you chastise another parent over her reaction to what the teacher did, and you say, the mother was “acting out”, the mother wasn’t acting out she said merely stated she did not like the way the teacher handled the matter. She was not yelling or acting in an un-civil way. You stated, “People act like they should be some darling little angels running around…..NOT! ”
What do you mean “NOT!” “YES YOU SHOULD EXPECT THEM TO BE WELL BEHAVED AND OBEDIENT” Nobody said a child would be a perfect angel, but they can certainly be taught by their parents how to be well-behaved and obedient. But parents who believe that in order for little Johnny to have personality, they must be allowed to “express” themselves, in other words, allow them to say and do, what they want to say and do, whenever and wherever!!! That is just setting the stage for drama and problems.
My children did things that they should not have done, AND THEY WERE CORRECTED! They were NEVER in trouble at school, because they were taught at home, what to expect, if they cut up in school, and they were dealt appropriate punishment for their behavior.
That is the problem with many children. Their parents believe in order for them to have a “personality”, that “WE” taught them to express themselves now nobody can handle a child who expresses themselves??” Isn’t that what the other little boy got in trouble for, “expressing himself” for talking. As far as the “WE”, I am not a part of that group of “WE”. I raised my children so that when I needed them to respond to me or a teacher they could and would do so in a way that was expected!
You stated, “My son is strong willed and wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. ” But that’s not the way life is, and he can’t always do what he wants to, but it’s up to you to teach him that, and he can be taught, but it’s up to you whether you want to or not. Yes, we want our children to reach for the moon and aim high in life, and not stifle their potential, but that does not mean we give them reckless abandonment of self control and good behavior.
You stated, “this is not back in the day were kids had no personality.” Respectfully, I ask you, what would you know about what occurred with BILLIONS of other children, and why you seem to think they had no personality. A child with personality is one that can say, please, thank you, yes ma’am and sir; who could dance, sing, run, skip and jump or just choose to read a book! Personality is not a child having way with anything he wants to say or do!
But what I don’t get is when you said, “Come on people bring it back to the basics and stop being afraid to raise these kids. they are just that KIDS.” Bring back the basics? Bring them back from where? When you say bring back, your saying do things the way we used to do, and allowing children all the “expression” you speak of and letting them be ‘strong willed and doing what they want, when they want’, WAS NOT, AND IS NOT THE BASICS that many of us use to raise our children! THOSE ARE NOT THE BASICS! That is exactly the opposite, as a matter of fact, it is not even right!
Nobody said a child would be a perfect angel, but they can certainly be taught to bewell-behaved and obedient. But then a child is only as good as the parent that teaches and raises him/her.
NO PARENT WANTS TO BELIEVE THEY ARE LACKING IN THEIR PARENTING SKILLS. I know that every parent would give their child their last breath and dime to make them happy, but that does not mean that we have some how mis-calculated something in our parenting skills. You state your son “LOVES to be the class clown.” It’s great he loves to make others laugh and has a sense of humor. But he needs to know that there is a time and place for everything, and if this activity is getting him some unwanted attention from the teacher then you, as his parent have to convey to him that that cannot continue, and why, and what the repercussions will be if he does not follow through. Kids do get into trouble, but if it is an on-going thing, and it is not corrected by you, it does not mean you are not a good parent, it means that you don’t believe his behavior is that bad, and does not need to be corrected, or you don’t know how to correct the things he get’s in trouble for. Not knowing how, doesn’t make you a bad parent. But refusing to correct the behavior is only going to make matters worse for the child and build animosity from the teacher, next the kids are teasing your child for getting in trouble, he’s fighting because people are teasing him, and then school is no longer a place a child wants to be. Many dropouts say they don’t like the way the teachers treat them! I have to agree with the students often times, because I’ve seen some teachers in action! That’s why parents have to make it their business to raise obedient, well-rounded and well-behaved I-N-D-I-V-I-D-U-A-L-S. Teachers eat that up and will bend over backwards for a well-be-haved students! They did it for all of mine!
Class size is about 22-34 kids in a classroom. 1 or 2 CHILDREN disrupting the CLASS is out of line. The teacher chose to inform the parent/parents of their child’s DISRUPTIVE behavior. She of course also had the option of sending him or her to the office for a much harsher discipline. Based on how repeated this behavior was.
In 2011. With cell, home phone, email and yes WORK phone #. Pinning a note only shows the lack of communication that the PARENT/parents have with the school and with the teacher. This is a teacher in a classroom full of OTHER peoples children also. Not Your Own Personal Babysitter that we are discussing here.
If your child is really bright and acting out in class, he may simply be bored… have you ever considered having him tested as “Talented and Gifted?” Also, the teacher has limits provided by the State regarding disciplinig children- she may have been at her wit’s end! Have the parents previously responded to any of the earlier notes? The teacher started her assumption SOMEWHERE! Self expression has a time and a place, it’s not all about self to the detriment of the rest of the class. This clip doesn’t provide enough background to assume anything, and the media wants folks to draw their own conclusions without the necessary info. Parents and teachers must work together for a common goal (educating children) and stop trying to be “right,” leaving the child uneducated.
I think the teacher was out of order. If she felt the child was not taking home the notes she was sending; then she could have made a call to the child’s mother or mailed a letter detailing her concerns. The fact is embarrassing children in front of their peers can in fact be quite damaging. Your assertion that children misbehaving in school is attributable to inadequate parenting is way out of line and inflammatory…and your comment about psycho babble is just plain ridiculous…frankly you sound ignorant…what was your gpa in school?
THIS TEACHER WAS DEAD WRONG! First, I have 5 children ( 26, 25, 21, 15 and 7), and not one of them NEVER, EVER received so much as a detention while in school. I set my expectations and standards very high for my children and began teaching them right and wrong as soon as they were able to hand me their bottle for juice, or open their hand for a cracker. This let me know they knew how to communicate with me and that they knew the difference between something pleasant and something not pleasant. I let them know, if I EVER had to come to their school because they were misbehaving, they would get spanked in front of the class. That threat alone was enough. It NEVER EVER came to that, and I would never have done that, BUT THE THREAT ALONE WAS ENOUGH. That’s not to say they did not get spanked AT HOME. I can count on one hand, the number of times I’ve spanked the three older boys 26, 25 and 21, the 15 year old once and my 7 year old, not yet.
Humiliation and embarrassment set the stage for a lot of things to just get worse. Would this teacher appreciate it if the principal stappled a naughty note to her blouse for the day, or yelled at her in front of other teachers because she did not turn her grades in on time, “NO”! Adults need to learn they must be the example of how to treat others. This was not a good example. This student may begin bullying other students to take out his anger and frustration about the way his teacher chose to discipline him.
Ever since E-mail was available, our kids teachers and their schools have told parents the best way to communicate is to send emails. Students also bring home a contact card each year, and parents provide telephone numbers where they can be reached. Why did the teacher not call the parent? Why did the school not warn the parent that if she did not contact the school her son would be suspended? If the teacher was sincere, AND SHE WAS NOT, in helping this student get on track, she would not handled this matter in this way. This teacher was over it with this child (for whatever reasons), and just wanted to embarrass him. Embarrassing a child, to discipline them can set the stage for many things. For instance, just as this child said, the children began teasing him and making fun of him because he was in trouble, and the note stapled to his shirt. A VERY SILLY THING FOR THE TEACHER TO DO. SHE NEEDS TO GROW UP! This child will be remembered by his peers for what his teacher did. Do you think this teacher will come to this student’s aid when the teasing becomes too much for him. NO! She clearly wants him teased and wants to get back at him for making her angry. So these students will tease him and make fun of him. The next thing you know, he’s fighting in school, because he’s being teased. How about the second grader who took a gun to school, to shoot his teacher. I’m sure his teacher had treated him in a similar manner. Teachers just seem not to have the time or patience to talk with these students who act out, but would rather embarrass and humiliate them.
Something similar happened to our boy in school. It was their first day, at a new school, and at the school the children wore uniforms. We had just paid our $1,000 for registration and tuition, uniforms and books, for two children. We were a young married couple trying to educate our children in the best schools. My sons did not have the uniform ties and we were broke. I sent a note stating they would have ties by Wednesday, my pay day. The teacher cut out ties of blue construction paper and called them to the front of their classes and stapled the ties to their shirts. I had this teacher not only apologize to me and my boys, but I had her apologize to them in front of their classmates. That was just uncalled for! I’d sent a note explaining our financial siutation and in two days they would have their ties. If it were a problem, she could have called me and told me. I would have borrowed the money, or as I later found out, they had a surplus of lost and found ties, they could have worn, or we could have purchased for .50!!!!!! THAT WAS NOT THE WAY TO WELCOME TWO NEW STUDENTS!
DISCIPLINE SHOULD BE INSTILLED AT HOME! Teachers should not have to teach your child EVERYTHING ABOUT BEHAVIOR. But when parents fall short. Teachers do not need to make matters worse for themselves, or the students. This is one of the things that I warn parents about all the time. I am constantly telling parents the best gift they can give their children is to provide them a headstart in reading, adding and subtracting before they hit kindergarten, but first and foremost presenting a child to a school, who is well-behaved, obedient, friendly and respectful of adults and his peers. That is the biggest and best gift any parent can give to a child. The teacher will love and appreciate a well-behaved child and be more willing to work with your child. The headstart in math and reading just gives your child added confidence and the ability to function academically. Children are people and should be considered men-tees/proteges. They have to learn, and as young children should be on a constant learning curve. After a certain point they should know, the difference between right and wrong and what is and is not appropriate.
By no means am I saying the unwanted behavior should be ignored, but that there are so many other ways this could have been handled: 1) calling his mother and talking to her 2) emailing her 2) suspending him until they were able to talk to the child’s mother 3) teacher talking calmly about why it is important to not talk when the teacher is talking 4) re-directing his actions, when he starts talking, ask him to be the note taker at the board, hand out papers, give him something special to do. Many times when children act out it is attention they want.
This is the very reason why our children are out of control. It’s because the adults are divide. What happen to ” IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RISE A CHILD”. The children have No prayer, No disciple, No corporal punishment in schools. What next, change roles, KIDS RULE!!!
I’m confused…first you encourage embarrassing the child and then you’re against it. I, certainly, understand what you are saying about the way teachers treat students (and I don’t at all condone the teachers actions), but at the same time I don’t believe that teachers have the time or neccesary back-up to be creative in disciplining children. Honestly, they don’t get paid enough for it either. With 28 kids in a classroom, testing a major priority and so many rules about how the children are to be handled, it can get very overwhelming.
I think a major issue in education is the lack of support that teachers get from parents and school leadership. If we could start by trying to find a way to remedy that, things probably would be a lot different.
Disclaimer: I am not a teacher, but I did go to school to become one (so I may be a bit biased). The issue that I mentioned above has made me not want to teach.
When I was a child there was no such thing as me being “humilitated or embarrassed”. It is the parents’ responsiblity to make sure their child(ren) know how to act by the time they reach school age. It is not fair to the teacher and students to have to put up with disrespectful, disruptive children.
I wouldn’t put up with it. That child will sit home until he/she got her act together. Do that a couple of times and the parent WILL deal with it.
I think some of these comments come from naive parents who cannot relate to the state of schools in some areas. Children are sent to school to be babysitted not educated. Parenting skills are non existent and unfortunately they are reflected in the behavior of these children. You have to witness it yourself on a day to day basis over a long period of time to fully appreciate the teacher’s perspective.
Kudos to the teacher.
i agree she should be making a big deal out of her son not acting like he should in school thats why so many kid act up cause the parents act like they need to get on to the teachers when they should be getting on to there kids
This is flat out wrong…. That shirt is not her property to be stapling anything to.. if she was having a problem getting her letters to the kids home … Hey… here’s a novel idea … Just call the house !! or if it’s that important to you go to the childs home like they did in the old days…
The teacher already said she would replace the shirt but why didn’t the mother respond to all the previous notes about her child being talkative and disrespectful in class, everybody want to keep blaming the teachers they have a tuff enough job as it is, lets put the blame where it belongs and that’s on the kid because had he not had a disciplanary problem he would of never got the note stapled to his shirt I’m behind this teacher 100%
I’m behind the mother…this is crazy if the teacher didn’t request for her to send them back then why would she expect anything back. I get on my son everyday about being silly and talkative in school. But he is a child who is bored in class and acting out for something to do. All people want to do is blame the Mom hell blame the teacher and her boring ass class. I tell you kids are not adults, they can’t sit through boring lectures anymore. There are way to many things going on in the world for them to focus on one thing. When you see an ad for a job what do they want ~someone who can multi task and these day all kids multi tasks. We need to feed their brain to do as such. That little boy mind is going a mile a minute he needs to be kept occupied. You can see that from his interview~ hands moving leg shaken. But no what do WE do WE put them on DRUGS so they can be still little angels. DISGUSTED~
I’m sorry, but this statement is very ignorant to me. It is the parent’s responsibility to be involved in the child’s education. I’m pretty sure that there is a line on the paperwork somewhere that asks for a signature so of course she would expect something back. But even if there wasn’t, when the mother got the notes about her son acting out in school, then she should have contacted the teacher. It seems like this mindset is used by parents of students with bad behavior as an excuse. You are the parent and you need to take responsibilty for your child!
Life is not all fun and games. We should teach our children to when to be serious and when to play. Kids acting up in class is not the same as multi -tasking. At. All. Employers do want their employees to have the ability to multi-task, but they also want them to have the ability to focus. What good is multi-tasking if everything that you’re doing is half done?
My mom used to tell me that when people resorted placing the blame on others and coming up with excuses it is because they feel guilty. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems like you feel guilty that your son behaves in this manner and rather than dealing with the problem, you blame everyone else and make excuses for his behavior.
It is not the fault of the child, but the fault of the parent for not disciplining her child, and showing up to see the teacher. I’m sure that’s what you meant to say. A child can only display discipline, when he is taught discipline.
The teacher was correct. Now the mother even identified that she was getting the letters previously sent, was not sending the back signed as is required, and the child’s behavior was not corrected. Now, she (the parent) need to step up an be a parent and addressing the child’s behavior vs. making a silly fuss over a $8 shirt. Now the hole from a stapler will not even be visible in a uniform shirt once washed. Address the BAD child vs. making a fuss over a silly shirt.
This one is an easy one, it seems quite obvious that there is a bit more reaction than pro action on the side of the parent. Was the teacher wrong for stapling the note to the child’s shirt? It could be viewed a few different ways…however, I would say that was probably not the best way to do it. If this child was a frequent problem the teacher should have perhaps sent the note home in the child’s book bag as normal (regardless to the questions about “alleged” earlier notes). Let’s be real, pinning the note to the shirt didn’t guarantee that it would get to the mom. The note should have gone home in his book bag with a phone call to follow, period. That is one of the reasons the schools gather contact information. The teacher without question took this one a bit too personal and went after the child, hat was the wrong thing to do. As for the mother, she has to chalk this one up as a wake up call. This is not media worthy, now what kind of signal has she sent her son? Right or wrong, Mommy has your back! That might sound noble but it doesn’t make the little fella see where he might have gone wrong. I dont like telling people how to raise their children but since the government will if I dont, I might as well…Check your son at home and make it clear to him what his purpose for being in school is. After he has done his part as a student then you can challenge the school when they fall short.
This one is an easy one, it seems quite obvious that there is a bit more reaction than pro action on the side of the parent. Was the teacher wrong for stapling the note to the child’s shirt? It could be viewed a few different ways…however, I would say that was probably not the best way to do it. If this child was a frequent problem the teacher should have perhaps sent the note home in the child’s book bag as normal (regardless to the questions about “alleged” earlier notes). Let’s be real, pinning the note to the shirt didn’t guarantee that it would get to the mom. The note should have gone home in his book bag with a phone call to follow, period. That is one of the reasons the schools gather contact information. The teacher without question took this one a bit too personal and went after the child, hat was the wrong thing to do. As for the mother, she has to chalk this one up as a wake up call. This is not media worthy, now what kind of signal has she sent her son? Right or wrong, Mommy has your back! That might sound noble but it doesn’t make the little fella see where he might have gone wrong. I dont like telling people how to raise their children but since the government will if I dont, I might as well…Check your son at home and make it clear to him what his purpose for being in school is. After he has done his part as a student then you can challenge the school when they fall short.
I agree with the above comment 100%, whether about the teacher and the mother. I know being a teacher is not an easy task, but we are in 2011, not 1900. There are several ways a teacher can get in contact with a parent: home and cell phone, email…stapling a not on the child’s shirt was the best way to handle it. who knows what else is going on both side?
Couldn’t agree more. We need more peole like you and your thought process! Thank you
If she was doing her job as a parent there wouldn’t of been a disciplinary issue here, some parents are too quick to blame the teachers when these kids should of learned respect and manners at home !!!!
As a teacher , I have saftey pinned/stapled notes (both good and bad) to a child’s shirt to ensure that the parents receive them. It is a common practice, especially in the lower grades. In the past three years, I had only one parent to question the practice and it was the parent of the student experiencing the most academic and behavior issues. I sorry to say but many parents do not check their children’s backpack daily for homework, teacher notes, office annoucements, etc. This practice is welcomed by many concerned parents to ensure notice of timely informaton.
I am a substitute Teacher in a Elementary school and your absolutely right parents do not check their child folders or book bag for any important news letters,or notes home. We collect the folders daily, things are still in them from two weeks prior. and I’m speaking on 5k students.
Therefore the route the teacher took was the best route huh wooooow
I do recall my mother pinning money, notes on me when I was young – however today you have to use wisdom cause these parents are something else today. Especially when 9x out of 10 – if you know the population you are dealing with – the mother/parent of a child that young will be single and young herself from being a teen parent. I don’t put this situation up there with cutting the braid or marking the childs face – outrageous teacher antics from the last couple of years, I believe the teacher may have really cared the parent got involved. Else she could’ve just put the little black boy out of her class and let him be a dummy…they’ve done it to thousands of young black boys before…
I do not see a problem with the teacher’s actions. Big deal, she stapled (or whatever means she secured the note) to his shirt. Teachers (I am also a teacher) get a bad rap in society today. You have 20+ students in your class room, you are trying to instruct them and one is talking, not paying attention. This Mom was wayyyyyyyyyyyy out of line and now she gets national media attention because of her son who was talking in class and got sent home with a note. It is not like the teacher punched him in the mouth for talking and he went home with fat lip and teeth missing, Come on Ms. Innocent (what a name), teach your child to respect his teacher and elder and that he is in school to learn and also not to talk when the teacher is talking, This is a prime example of a parent over reacting and seeking media attention (which she is receiving) not to mention a montary settlement. She is not a very good example of what a Mom should be teaching her child. It is very disruptive when you are instructing and one student is talking. Teach your child some manners! If he has been a problem in the past then the teacher is probaly happy that he is no longer in the class room.
Stick to your point. The mother’s name is irrelevant. She’s Haitian — it’s a French name…
If I’m understanding MissBirdie correctly, it’s ironic that their name is “Innocent” in light of the situation; not to make any racial profile or statement.
what does her name has to do with this? For a teacher you are stupid and ignorant to bring her last name into this. I’m pretty sure you will do the same thing to this little boy just because you don’t like the name.
Come on Mom you did not have to take this to the media.. Teach your child some respect. Children go to school to learn not to talk out in class. Disrupting the the class causes others to lose concentration to learning. I know I’m a Sub teacher. I have had my share of the same kind of kid not pleasant at all..
Why is this national news? this is ridiculous!
The mom messed up, the teacher messed up. This is not real news, move on.
Is this mother serious? This is why these kids are so bad. Instead of parents rallying behind and taking a stand with teachers and other authority figures, they are setting their kids up for failure. At 7, his “feelings” don’t mean a thing if he was in class not doing what he was supposed to be doing. Instead of the mom being concerned about a visible note pinned on the child, she should be more concerned about why he was misbehaving and deal with that! Who cares he was embarrassed.
I so agree with you!
1. this is not national news.
2. The parent is over reacting. It is obvious that her child is a disciplinary problem at school with SEVERAL notes being sent home in the past and the parent, if she IS receiving them, is NOT responding in an appropriate manner. She needs to be more concerned with the fact that her child is not behaving properly in school.
3. In so far as him being “embarrassed”, from what I understand, when a child is misbehaving in class, s/he is being singled out anyway to be disciplined in front of the class because of their own disruptive behavior! One way of doing that is making them sit away from the class, sit in a corner, write on the chalkboard up to removing them from class and detention! I don’t know what actions had been taken before this but he wasn’t embarrassed by that, then stapling a note to his shirt is the least of the worries!
4. I agree with the teacher’s response in offering to pay for/replace the shirt if need be. I don’t think her actions were excessive in light of the whole picture. Could she have handled it differently i.e. calling the home instead? Sure. But the way she did handle it was not media worthy taking into consideration of this student’s bad behavior and her unsuccessful reaches out to the parents in the past, in my opinion.
Teachers have such a hard job, with many disciplinary issues to deal with…I don’t see anything wrong with what the teacher did. However, it would have been better if the teacher and parents could have simply scheduled a conference time to talk via the telephone or in person on a regular basis if there are serious issues with the students academic or disciplinary actions. I don’t think what the teacher did warranted the media becoming involved. The two sides communicating should have been able to resolve all issues involving the student.
Maybe next time something like that should happen to your kid then you can come back here and write this outrageous comment…The teacher chose this profession helllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooo
I have two disabled children, both sometimes don’t pay attention but I wouldn’t be ok with stapling a note to my childs shirt, but I do check my kids book bags everyday and have regular conferences with my kids teachers. I also deal with behavioral issues at home before they become a problem at school. Somebody dropped the ball with this kid. The parent/s and teacher need to work together to come up with a plan.
The parent dropped the ball. Behavior reports have to be returned and the mother said she was getting them. Which means she was not returning the reports signed as required.
One question I would ask is how old is the teacher? Someone above mentioned this was customary back in the day. However, being a former recipient of humiliation by adults, I have to say, the teacher could have perhaps taken a more appropriate approach, such as a phone call home or mailing a letter. My principal in high school made it a habit of humiliating me for discipline which was always over the top. I have to say to some degree it still bothers me today. Mostly, “why me”? From day one when she started I was targeted. I can’t imagine how a small child is supposed to handle this.
I do agree that the child needs to be disciplined if he continues to act up at school, but let’s face it. He’s a child. Some children are more talkative than others. I was a talker!
Finally, as a side note, I do see it as destroying personal property. Harsh, words? Perhaps. Even if she offered to replace the shirt- it wasn’t her’s to ruin in the first place.
Overall, the teacher simply could have handled it better…
A staple hole in a cotton uniform shirt disappears after a washing. The shirt was not destroyed. This mother is FAILING as a parent and is teaching her child to make excuses for bad behavior by not addressing the notes that were previously sent home (she confirmed that she received them). That should be the primary focus vs. an $8 shirt .
A staple hole in a cotton uniform shirt disappears after a washing. The shirt was not destroyed. This mother is FAILING as a parent and is teaching her child to make excuses for bad behavior by not addressing the notes that were previously sent home (she confirmed that she received them). That should be the primary focus vs. an $8 shirt .
Her last name is “Innocent”, maybe that’s part of her problem. She must think in all situations they are innocent. Seriously though, she needs to ask herself how should she have handled her own son to prevent such things from happening. Bottom line is her sone was being disciplined, and not for the first time either so that means she have not been doing her job with him.
It’s not the teacher fault. I have 3 children in school. One note would have me in the back of that classroom observing . That teacher has probably at least 18-20 other children to deal with. One that is acting up doesn’t deserve any special attention. The mother better be thankful that the teacher just didn’t label him as slow and put him in a class with the children who have learning disabilities or recommend that he needs to be tested. Throw him to the side on on to the next one. A stapled shirt should be the least of her worries. It is not the teachers responsibility to ensure that his behind is acting like he has sense. School is his job. It is to be taken serious or he will have consequences.
I am a mom of 5, with 4 being school aged. I have absolutely no problem with a teacher securing a note to the child’s clothing. At the beginning of each school year I make sure to introduce myself to the teachers and their support staff and give them ways to reach me(email, cell phone, dad’s work, and grandmom’s number). My 9 yr old twin daughter is very talkative and has hidden notes home from her teacher, since they ride the school bus that gives her plenty of time to remove it from the bookbag and hide it on her person or in the trash. If her teacher doesn’t get it back the next day he gives me a call and now because we know she hides the letters he’ll call me as soon as school lets out. We in turn reprimand her for her behavior and all is well and she’ll chat away in class a few weeks later. At times I have forgotten to put the letter back in her folder and I will let the teacher know via email that I have it and he’ll get it the next school day. As parents it is our responsibility to make sure that our children are acting accordingly. It does tend to be the problematic children who’s parents are not proactive when receiving notices about their child’s behavior and they also tend to be the parents that are screaming injustice. Parents need to join forces with the teachers to enforce proper behavior instead of being so quick to save the kids from embarrassment!!!
SHE IS OVERREACTING. HER CHILD IS MISBEHAVING IN CLASS AND PROBABLY NEEDS HIS BUTT WHOOPED. WHO IS THE PARENT HERE? HE WAS EMBARASSED AND HUMILIATED!! WTF!!! IM 37 AND WHEN I WAS THAT AGE IF WE TALKED IN CLASS OR ACTED UP WE GOT PADDLED BY THE TEACHER AND PADDLED AT HOME!! THESE PARENTS TODAY SCARED OF THEIR KIDS AND CAN’T MAKE THEM BEHAVE AND THEN SEND THEM TO SCHOOL AND EXPECT OTHERS TO TOLERATED THEIR DISOBEDIENCE.
SHE IS OVERREACTING. HER CHILD IS MISBEHAVING IN CLASS AND PROBABLY NEEDS HIS BUTT WHOOPED. WHO IS THE PARENT HERE? HE WAS EMBARASSED AND HUMILIATED!! WTF!!! IM 37 AND WHEN I WAS THAT AGE IF WE TALKED IN CLASS OR ACTED UP WE GOT PADDLED BY THE TEACHER AND PADDLED AT HOME!! THESE PARENTS TODAY SCARED OF THEIR KIDS AND CAN’T MAKE THEM BEHAVE AND THEN SEND THEM TO SCHOOL AND EXPECT OTHERS TO TOLERATED THEIR DISOBEDIENCE.
*Hits Close to Home*
My son’s teacher called us (my wife & I) last-night @4:13pm. To say that we JUST walked into the door is an understatement. He explained that my son (16yrs old) had been doing his “Chattie-Cathy” impersonation pretty much all this week. He also explained that he had spoke with and TOO my son on several different occasions during this week about his behavior and that he now feels in order to get my son to change his “uncharacteristic behavior for Him” that a phone call was now necessary.
This school and ALL of my son’s teachers (even gym since that 85 on the report card incident) have:
-email, work phone, home phone, cell phone (yes you can text me also) 4 both parents and were members of PTA & Booster Club. It’s 2011 & my President is Black!
So! After speaking with the teacher (on speaker phone, so that we both could hear). I got back in the car. Drove up to the school. Picked my son up early from lacrosse practice. “What’s wrong. Is Mommy OK?!”. Drove him home is silence.
We discussed what the teacher had told us and asked him what was going on. My son to his credit began explaining that “always being made an example of by being called on in class constantly”. All the time according to him and having his name used in different class seniors was making him very uncomfortable and the other kids were ‘getting at him’ about it”.
I had him write a letter to the teacher.
1) apologizing to the teacher about being disruptive in class.
2) expressing that he felt that he was being singled out and was uncomfortable about it.
This ALL happened YESTERDAY. Today! Daddy gets off of work early. Because this is important to my son and I will be speaking to the teacher about My Sons Concerns. One Adult to another Adult. But in that classroom. The teacher rules. I don’t want that job. I also don’t want someone else’s child taking time from my child learning.
While the Mother in the video (Dad not mentioned, but I/we can ASSume whatever) she clearly admits that she chose NOT to address any of the teacher concerns about her child’s behavior. “I got the reports”. I would kill for a follow-UP story on that child’s behavior in his NEW class room.
My son knows that he has 1 job right now. Go to school and get the BEST grades that he’s capable of. Period!! Basketball, football, video games, teen night at the local club and money in your pocket are ALL secondary to you doing your BEST at school. Doing your BEST in class.
I see at the heart of this matter. A total lack of respect for the teacher and the job that he or she has to do with 20-34 kids in a class room in the span of 45 minutes 5 days a week. 20-34 immature personalities with individual living circumstances that I have been charged with TEACHING. I have volunteered at my sons and daughters schools. I Would Be Arrested. Behind how ‘some’ of these little ANGLES conduct themselves in class and in the hallways. Heck out of the house period for that matter.
**I Love my Family and can give respect to a job that others have chosen to do at the same time.
So what’s your point with this whole letter you just wrote, not every parent have time to volunteer at the school but that does not make them bad parents. We are talking abt a 7 year old boy, everyone is so quick to take the teachers’ side beacause they are under paid “blah blah blah and more blah, cry me a river”. People should choose their professions wisely and obviously this retarded teacher does not love what she does. The real problem here that everyone fail to realize is that the teacher handle the situation POORLY period……………………
Volunteering or not volunteering at the school is not an issue of bad parent versus good parent. This mother chose to ignore the teacher’s previous notes, that is bad parenting. My children’s notes come home with a space for the parent to sign, if I don’t agree or have questions I write over in the signature space and address my issues requesting a return call or email at their convienence. The parent handled the situation poorly by not addressing the issues…her child was misbehaving, letters were being sent home and from the teacher’s perspective they were being ignored or not received at all, and who knows what other ways this teacher tried to reach out to home. As parents it is part of our job to teach our children how to act in public, how to respect elders, and how to act in school and she did not do this. Now if there are other issues with the child (ie ADHD, mental illness, learning disability, etc.) then the mother should have brought that to the teachers and schools attention immediately and a plan should have been in place.
Thanx, 2 “The Mrs.”
@Kate. I CHOSE to work close to HOME. I could make more $ working somewhere else. But again, you do have a very valid point. I chose my job very carefully. To be able to be there for my kids like my single Nubian female Mother could not do for me. Please listen to the PARENT in in the video. “I got the reports” pretty much sums up her Lack of Respect for the teacher and the job that she or he has also Chose to do. I’m with you about we (well some of Us) can CHOOSE our jobs and where we want to work. But not communicating with someone that CHOOSE to help your child is just WRONG. Sorry if this video or conversation on this site seems to hit a nerve with you. But that is also why I chose to share my experience.
Louis how ignorant can you be, I mean we are talking about a 7 year old child. Let a teacher staple a note on your child’s shirt and have hime walk around with nothing to cover it and see how you feel. Wait a minute, your comment is soo harsh cause you are probably a mule. If that was my f***** I would put my foot up that teacher’s ass. There are so many other ways to deal with a situation like this but some of you are too blind to see the f**** here.
Louis how ignorant can you be, I mean we are talking about a 7 year old child. Let a teacher staple a note on your child’s shirt and have hime walk around with nothing to cover it and see how you feel. Wait a minute, your comment is soo harsh cause you are probably a mule. If that was my f***** child I would put my foot up that teacher’s ass. There are so many other ways to deal with a situation like this but some of you are too blind to see the f**** point here.
Very ignorant!
It truly pains me to see how the village has been disbanded because “that’s MY child!” Folks, parents & teachers need to work together, it’s not solely on the parent to discipline. If it is, why do we expect teachers to break up fights? That’s discipline, too! And doing all you can to get in touch with the parent is part of being on the team responsible for a kid. Parents need to wake up! They aren’t the only authority in their kids’ lives. If mama got the previous notes, why take it to the news? TALK to the teacher not the news cameras!!! Obviously lil Mr. Innocent will need more than just a lil embarrassment to get his behavior together. UGH!! This daggone “Entitlement” generation is annoying.
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