by Eric Payne
Is a man determined by…
His swagger?
The clothes he wears?
The way he answers (or doesn’t answer) questions?
The shoes he wears?
The car(s) he drives?
The fact that he doesn’t care about his shoes or car(s)?
The fact that he does?
How much money he makes?
How much money he doesn’t?
The house he owns or the crib he rents?
The fact that he might not own or rent a home for whatever reason?
How many degrees he has?
Whether or not he finished high school and/or college?
How much he keeps to himself?
How well he keeps it all to himself?
How sexily he smolders?
How ferocious he can be when angry?
How calm he is in the face of a storm?
How sexy his mind might be?
How he deals with having no one to turn to?
How he acts like it all makes sense even when he knows in his heart it doesn’t?
How good he is with his hands, in a fight and on her body?
How faithful he is, or is not?
How big that thing is, or isn’t?
How good he is in bed?
How good he is out of bed?
How handy he is with a set of tools?
His ability to pay the right person to get the job done?
How fast he jumps up to take out the trash when asked?
How much he loves his mama without being a mama’s boy?
How much he loves you?
How much he needs to be saved from himself?
The fact that he’s to dumb to know he needs to be “saved” or “changed” for the “better”?
How much he loves his kids?
How he’s planned for the future?
How he lives in the present?
How much he loves God, or doesn’t love Him?
What man, not in the movies or singing and/or rapping about himself in some song, can consider being authentic while trying to achieve all of the above? Rather than spending his time chasing pipe dreams and fronting, shouldn’t he just do his best to be his best, whatever that may be? Are all these conditions (and so many more) self-imposed or does society place them on men’s shoulders?
Author of the now infamous, My Wife Is NOT My Friend (on Facebook), Eric talks about being a father and a husband on his blog, Makes Me Wanna Holler ““ Man, Dad, Husband. You can follow him on Twitter or find him chopping it up on his Facebook Page. He is the author of I See Through Eyes, a book of poetry and short stories. In his “spare time” Eric reviews autos and writes relationship articles for Atlanta-based J’Adore Magazine.
Spenseravery says
“self-imposed or does society place them on mens shoulders”?
I am the product of my environment. But my environment does not define me. I learn everyday how to be a better Father & Husband. My want to do better than was done for me fuels a lot of my decisions. I am by no means perfect, nor do I wish to be.
I don’t know what makes Man. I do know that some things that I have tried. Didn’t work out so well. I realize and acknowledge what I don’t know. While striving to find answer’s to what I should know.
I am doing Better than my Father……My son & daughter will do Better than me
Anna says
What Makes a Man?
~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is someone who “Mans Up”. Takes responsablity for his wrongs. Steps to the plate and takes care of his kids not just finance, mental but the physical rearing hands on helping to raise a child/ren. To me a man does not have to have a fancy car, and a closet full of designer suits. It’s ok for a man to have/show compassion vs bitterness due to his circumstances. I only know a few men who are willing to love unconditionally. Some men think they have to do it all and be all to be considered a man. That’s what a wife is for. If we pick the right mate and continue to have each others back, all things are possible. What makes a man is “being there”. Let your “word” be your word. We should not have to pinky swear or shake on it. Words go along way, follow through. If a man is defined by the money in his wallet, or the clothes he wears, that’s a shame.
Dorisdld2 says
I’m not a man, but I have watched and listened to those whom I consider to be real men. These individuals prevail inspite of what circumstances come their way. They love their wives and children and are not afraid to say or show that they love and there fore are beloved. They provide for their family through hard work. They love God and let him lead in their lives. They make mistakes, but then they do all they can to fix them. They are careful where they lead their family and what they bring to their door step. These men are active in their community and are concerned about their community. These men strive for the better for their family and themselves. These men are fearless and then fearful, but they let neither become an obstacle. These men committ to God, family, marriage and community and through this they endure. These men put their time and energy into life and family, not playing video games and chasing every woman they see. They hold themselves to a standard and work towards that standard. If you want a measure of a man, look back to your history. Dr. Martin Luther King, Booker T. Washington, George Washington Carver just to name a few. Coming out of slavery, self educating, learder of his people, all making sacrifices.