We never know when our story can be used as inspiration for someone else who may be currently experiencing the same thing. I am blessed because every day, at my daytime job, I get to hear stories of triumph. People who have overcome many of life’s toughest struggles share how they became victorious. Hearing their stories confirms that people can overcome any challenge, if they so choose. We know that in everyday life there are certain battles like job loss, illness, financial challenges and more. Our marriages are subjected to trials and those tests that either break us or make us stronger. It’s worth celebrating when we are made stronger as a result of them.
Our marriage test came as a result of my health back in 2003. I became seriously ill after the birth of our second child. It was an extremely scary time for the both of us. During that time, not knowing what the outcome would be, I remained prayerful. I know my husband did too. One of the many great things about my spouse is his ability to ease my worries and my fears. He has taken on that responsibility as the head of our family. He helps to release a lot of my concerns because of his confidence and his faith. My husband is truly the rock of our family, making sure our children were taken care of as I had to spend time in the hospital. He managed to do all that while staying all night (each night) by my side. If he was ever afraid, I never knew, which I am sure was his intent. This test truly strengthened our marriage. I thank God for seeing us through. “In sickness and in health” was all I kept thinking about as I healed. I feel that going through this test together successfully would equip us to handle anything else that might come our way.
Whether it is health related, financial or having to deal with infidelity, couples are surviving these ordeals and coming out on top. As Joyce Meyer states in her daily devotions “to test something means to put pressure on it to see if it will do what it says it will do.” Marriage tests show up to remind us of our vows. Will we adhere to them as we go through trying situations? These may not be the conversations we necessarily want to bring up often or discuss frequently (as I had tears in my eyes just typing the above paragraph). These situations are an opportunity to bless other couples. I believe there are people who visit BMWK, who probably never comment, but actually need the words of encouragement that are provided here every day. I want to use my marriage to inspire others. It is comforting to know we are not alone and it’s always encouraging to hear success stories, especially in marriage.
BMWK, please share the marriage test you and your spouse have survived and how you did it.
Missjay20 says
Thank you for this article/post. I haven’t posted in a while but still come to read the posts. I believe my husband and I may be going through those times as well. But one thing I learned in Bible study was that God will see you through anything. Watching Pastor Joel Olsteen he said even if God doesn’t delver us from our trials He will see us through them.
Tiya says
Missjay, you are absolutely correct, God will see you through anything. Be encouraged and trust God.
Guest says
My marriage has survived my husband’s ex-wife antics!!! She has done everything to break us up. Also, my mom & dad, and our kids all played their roles too. With God’s help, we have survived and now it’s smooth sailing (well, not with the ex-wife, still). Thanks God.
Tiya says
Glad to hear. That’s what it’s all about being able to weather those storms together!
mrslinaz says
Dear Guest.
Unfortunately most of us 2nd wives have had
our share of dealing with the EX factor. For whatever reasons the first did not
work. As stated on the Ophrah show; “Hurt people, hurt people”. They are often fearful that the next person will get all of the
“love” that they feel they deserved. You need to remain on the high
road, no matter what, the last think you need is for your conscious and mind to
be messed up with her or their baggage. I will say that it took me 10 years of
trying to be the bigger woman to where the “mess” spilled over in to
my life. I was in school, my job was not going well, and my man was busy trying
to solve her and her family’s problems on my time. Finally when I had enough, I
had to un-characteristically make him choice between his future and his past. Luckily
our then present and future prevailed. And I found my own voice in the process.
Lord knows it ain’t always easy, we have our own quirky ways as the song goes
(If
you don’t know me by now). Just as I had stood firm with my own family
about their efforts to break us up, I had to stand firm with this unhappy
person. And besides, I would rather mess up my own relationship than let others
do it for me.
Be encouraged and God Bless you, your husband
& your family.
Paulette says
In our ninth year of marriage, 2009, my husband’s health changed our lives forever. The previous year, we noticed some swelling in his legs and he had this nagging cough that would not leave, so we sought medical care, but to no avail. Doctors ran all kinds of test and prescribed pills to help remove the fluid that was building up in his legs by urinating, that would’ve taken months. In January of 2009, his body had filled up with so much fluid that it became impossible for him to get around my husband was becoming immobile. The nagging cough was due to fluid as well, which required him to sleep sitting up for fear of drowning if he were to lay flat while sleeping. Lord has mercy! During a visit to Chicago in June of 2009, our hotel was located across from Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Annoying at the time, but Divine intervention at its best. Immediately when I returned to Michigan, I goggled the hospital and there in black & white was a list of ALL of my husband’s symptoms. I called and scheduled an appointment for him, PRAYING!! Now I just had to get him there. To my surprise he was more than ready. THANK YOU GOD! In one visit, my husband was diagnosed with congestive heart failure AND stage 4 renal (kidneys) failure. He was admitted to Northwestern Hospital on July 14, 2009 and was not released until August 5, 2009. 22 days, nine of them consisted of dialysis sessions consecutively, resulting in removing 106 pounds of fluid from his body. Presently he continues his dialysis 3 times a week and is on the tranplant list for a new kidney. Also he still continues to work for General Motors and is very active at our church and in the community. HE DON’T LOOK LIKE WHAT HE’S BEEN/GOING THROUGH!!! YES GOD…He is a living testimony! GOD has plan and purpose for my husband. Thanks for letteing me share our story.
Tiya says
Paulette, thank YOU for sharing your story. What an awesome testimony! God placed the right woman by your husband’s side. I love how you kept pushing to find out was going on. Sounds like you may have saved his life!
Yana says
The death of his father, then two weeks later the death of his mother, then six months later the death of our youngest child. All sudden deaths, which to me made them even more difficult to process and bare…..
Tiya says
Yana, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I pray that God continues to strengthen and comfort you both.
Briana Myricks says
Reading these comments makes our test so inferior. We’re still surviving through 2 lay offs, first mine then his. With the help of our families and each other, we’re trekking through. God bless the ones above me, who truly have stood tests of marriage.
Tiya says
Briana, thanks for sharing. We also had to deal with a layoff too. Not easy, but we made it through. I also pray for the stories shared above. I am happy the are still standing strong.
Cheryl says
Our marriage started out with a health scare. As we were planning, my husband was diagnosed with Hodkin’s lymphoma, which had spread to several lymph nodes. We managed to get married between the end of chemo and the beginning of radiation therapy. Since then, he has had 2 recurrences but thank God he is cancer free. Throw in an extremely medically fragile child (born with half a heart) and a surprise pregnancy, and alzheimers (his mom), I think we pretty much have done it all. We are still crazy in love, and in spite of it all it has been a great ride. We celebrated 10 years married in 2011 (did I mention that 9/11 was a couple days before the wedding and we are from NYC).
Tiya says
Cheryl, thank you for sharing. I am happy to hear you are still crazy in love, I know that makes things easier. I will be praying for your families continued healing
Sonya Wright says
Dividing closet space, yes it was serious. 😎
laketarenal says
This was a very insightful read. When your marriage is healthy and you’re committed to making it work, the tests do remind of you of all that was promised during your vows.
Dan Jones says
My marriage of three years has survived layoffs, infidelity, trust issues and in-law differences.But thru it all my wife and I continued to stay deep in prayer as we try to put everything behind us.We have realised that we are the support system of the other when times get tough. For I am the head and she the neck of our relationship.