I have said it before and I will say it again, marriage requires effort. Loving someone and making them a priority comes with its own set of challenges. Whenever marriages hit those rough patches there are usually certain factors that help the couple stay focused on solution building. Without specific motivators the couple may sometimes consider taking other drastic actions.
Because a relationship is comprised of two imperfect people, there are bound to be a few bumps along the road. How we handle challenges typically depend on the strength of the foundation the relationship was built on. Sometimes it’s easier to walk away but other times we have invested too much to just give up. I remember early in my marriage having one of those hypothetical conversations with a family member and them asking me what action I would take if I my husband was unfaithful. I immediately jumped and proudly proclaimed “I’m out of there.” In my mind there would be no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It seemed real simple at the time. Years later that same family member asked me that same question but this time my response wasn’t as clear cut. I even said “we’ll have to see.” My response changed because I matured in my marriage. There were now children involved and a lot of great years invested in this marriage and it wouldn’t be so easy to walk away.
What I really think happened is that I now have factors that encourage me to give my all to my marriage. I now have 3 motivators in my life to remind me why I have to make my marriage work.
Motivator #1 God and our spiritual connection. I know without a shadow of a doubt my marriage was destined by God. Because God has never broken a promise to me, I will not break the promise I made on my wedding day to love my husband until death do us part.
Motivator #2 My children. Yes, I know you aren’t suppose to stay in an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of your children. But my children are the primary reason my husband and I strive so hard to maintain our healthy relationship. They make me want to live my whole life right. I consider them in many of the actions I take. My children deserve and have the right to grow up in a healthy loving environment.
Motivator #3 Myself. I deserve true love and happiness. In honoring myself I know that I am worthy of the best that life has to offer and I am determined not to be a statistic. So even when things might seem a little challenging, I know my marriage is solid, I adore my husband and I know he really loves me. Of course there are things that need improving but overall I have a great marriage. The love I have for myself makes me want to work even harder to make it last. I am determined to make my marriage work. My motivators just remind me why it’s so important.
BMWK — What motivates you to make your marriage Work?
I agree, marriage is a covenant that is made before God, so it shouldn’t easily be broken. I love my wife so dearly and my love for her grows deeper everyday. I want to see our marriage last. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. We strive to keep God first in our marriage and He is always there to calm any storm we encounter. When I said I do, I meant it with my whole heart. Now to be honest I thought when I get married all will be well, but I soon found out that it takes work to build a great marriage. So I stay in my marriage because I love and will continue to honor God and I love my dear wife. God has truly blessed me with this amazing woman.
This is a topic that I enjoy reading about because my 13year marriage failed due to his lifestyle decision. He was a youth pastor and for more than 10 years sobGos was present. I dont know whyvhe chose a gay lifestyle..so we split. , I stayed single for 14 years to focus on me and my children. Then God blessed me to wed again to a good man. I totally agree with all the comments…but I have a question. What if the person you married was very dedicated to God and over time drifted away? I believe it’s my job to pray for him..but how can u have a powerful, fun and loving union when one seems to be selfish. Yes all marriages have rough times., but when the rough times over shadow the good times, then for me that’s an issue. I understand about committment..but how can two dwell together in harmony when one is doing their own thing as though they are single..see I dont see howbthis can produce a good marriage…what does a woman do? Of course many solutions cross my mind but I try to remember my vows.
Reading articles like this make me think. I am not married yet, but I deeply desire a long and healthy marriage to someone who loves the Lord and is dedicated to the Lord’s work as well as his family. I pray for this often and I also pray that I will do my part to be what I need to be in my marriage as well. One of my friends asked if I was truly ready to forsake all others and it really had me thinking. I mean forsaking all others does not just mean sexually, but it means to me that I need to have a devotion to my husband to be that I continually lift him up to God who will the strength and foundation of our lives together. Cheating is only one trauma that a marriage could face. I want to combat all the symtoms with preventive measures to ensure the health of our family. I pray for continued wisdom as well that I may lean on my understanding, but know that God will give me answers and solution to the hard question of that life.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really helpful & it helped me out much. I hope to give one thing back and help others such as you helped me.
Excellent points altogether, you simply gained a new reader. What could you suggest about your post that you just made a few days ago? Any positive?