Over the past year, I’ve coached people all over the world who are ready to give up on love. They tell me things like:
I got this crazy message in my inbox…I’m cancelling my subscription to online dating forever!
If this relationship doesn’t work out then I’m giving up. I guess I’ll just be single for the rest of my life.
I’m scared to trust again. I don’t know what a man will do to me.
I’m not dating anymore. God will just have to bring my mate to me.
If you’re on the verge of giving up on love, let me encourage you.
I understand you may be feeling some kind of way about the opposite sex, online dating, relationships, marriage, and even yourself, but giving up isn’t the answer.
You have more control over how you feel about love than you think. You just have to break the negative attitude you’ve developed about your situation.
Your attitude is created by the way you interpret what happens to you. I know you’ve been through hell and back in your relationships and you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. You don’t want to try anymore and you can point to so many reasons why you have the right to feel the way you do.
But here’s the thing, the reality is we all deal with crazy ups and downs in love.
Everybody does, no matter if they’re single or married! So it’s not about what happens to you. It’s how you DEFINE what happens to you that matters.
I challenge you to make a decision that you will not let negative emotions like fear, doubt, or hopelessness control you.
How do you do that? There’s a process I take my clients through to help them become aware of their negative thinking patterns, but I want to give you a few tips to help you get started.
You can change how you think and feel about relationships by using these 3 simple affirmations:
1. I believe in love and I know it’s possible for me to experience it.
Giving up on love is like giving up on God! God is love and He made you to love and be loved. When you give in to your negativity and hopelessness, you deny your purpose for living. Make a decision to believe in love.
2. I’m happy now and I will allow myself to be even happier with the right person in my life.
Happiness doesn’t depend on your circumstances. It’s a choice you make day by day, moment by moment to focus on all that’s going well in your life.
The second part of this affirmation gets rid of the “either/or” mentality that if you’re happy being alone, you don’t NEED a relationship in your life. Instead, by shifting your mindset you can see your contentment as the key to attracting the right relationship into your life.
3. No matter what happens to me, with God’s help, I will be ok.
This affirmation helps you deal with the uncertainties of love and relationships. So many people I coach get stuck when they face the fear of the unknown.
- What if he leaves me?
- What if this relationship doesn’t work out?
- What if there isn’t anyone out there who will love me?
- What if I open up my heart and get hurt again?
- What if I break up with him and it’s the wrong decision?
- What if I have to start over?
The fear of “what if” can be so strong that you’ll fight to make a bad relationship work, sabotage a good one or block love from coming into your life in the first place.
This affirmation will shift your focus from trying to control the future, to trusting in the One who holds your future!
Giving up on love guarantees failure. So does a negative attitude. But you can believe in love again by using these affirmations. Your attitude is everything!
BMWK, I’m curious: Have you ever felt like giving up on love? Tell me your story below!
Andrelle says
I’ve definitely given up on love! After my last relationship I told my self that I would focus on graduating from college, getting closer to God and find my purpose. I question if I’ll ever find the person for me! I have faith that God will send him one day but, those negative thoughts that you mentioned in you article tend to over power my faith sometimes.
Aesha says
Hi Andrelle! Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Connect with me on my blog for more tips to help you overcome those negative beliefs. http://www.AeshaOnline.co
Valarie says
I’ve given up on love. I’m a single mother of 2 little girls. I’ve given up on love. I don’t believe it anymore. I’ve tried and tried and gave it my all just to be used and tossed aside. I pray and tried dating sites but nothing. I’m scared I’m not pretty enough.
Cage says
There was a time when I felt this way after my divorce some 10y ago. There is a process you must go through, if you feel like giving up on love. It is my belief if I had not allowed myself to feel the hurt, pain, rejection, anger and cry a river of tears I would be in the state of “giving up on love”. Love did not give up on me. He did. I did not give up of love. I love Love. As simple as it sounds, the thing to do is MOVE ON. If you wollow in self pity, doubt you become stuck in cement and weighed down. I had to keep moving, for myself, my sanity and my girls. I went through the storm and came out dry and moved on.
Cage says
Hi Valarie, PLEASE do not give up on YOU! Giving up on yourself is also giving up on those two little girls. As a mom of two minors(at the time of my “process”) they was my source of strength to “move on”. Let me encourage and motivate you to look into the mirror at your beautiful self and own that love you see looking back at you. Love you. Love yourself to tears flaws and all. Sounds weird maybe but I spent countless times and I still do because I have so much love for myself and I want that in return. Its like what you put out…you get back. I hope my personal post below will help. Please do not give up on Love. Love yourself because your girls are watching you. God Bless…