Imagine you have a fun adult trip planned to a beautiful sunny destination with your spouse and a group of friends. Plane tickets are purchased and the hotel room has already been booked. But your spouse has never flown and once you arrive at the airport, he/she decides they are just too afraid to fly. No amount of coaching, support, medication or liquor is able to get them to change their mind and actually get on that plane. Do you still go on the trip, or do you stay behind with your spouse?
This real life scenario recently occurred to someone in my circle, and as you might have guessed a very telling discussion ensued. I must say, the difference of opinion was quite interesting. On one hand, there were some who thought the best course of action was to leave the spouse (who was afraid to fly) behind. The thinking was that both partners shouldn’t have to suffer for the one partner’s fears. Especially if the trip had already been paid for. Why waste the money, and the amount of fun to be had. The thinking was that the spouse (who was afraid to fly) would understand and expect their partner to go on without them.
The other point of view in this conversation was from those who had the same idea I did; you don’t leave your spouse behind no matter what. Sometimes, unfortunately, we may have to do without. I couldn’t imagine enjoying myself fully, knowing my partner couldn’t be there with me. Friends or no friends, my vacations are better when my spouse is included. I learned early on in marriage that sacrifices would have to be made. I don’t even want to think of how my husband might feel knowing I chose something over him. Probably betrayed and unloved. I never want to be responsible for causing him to feel like that.
Loyalty is that key ingredient in a marriage most people fail to mention very often. But it’s necessary and a confirmation of quite a few things, like love, sacrifice and selflessness. Our spouse and his/her feelings have to become a priority. I would rather have a happy, peaceful home filled with love, than one where everything goes my way, and I’m miserable. When each partner is fulfilled, the marriage is at its absolute best.
Oh and by the way, this wife decided to stand by her man and not get on that plane.
BMWK, let’s hear from you, what would you do in this situation?