We spend a huge amount of time in our bedrooms. When you think about it, the bedroom should be one of the most important rooms in the house. We sleep in there, get dressed, primp, enjoy other activities (ahem).
But I realized I definitely don’t treat our bedroom like the sanctuary it’s supposed to be. I frequently bring the laptop into bed with me (bad Tara – just bad!) and I have papers, books, and magazines covering my side table. My bedroom actually functions more like a bedroom/office and I know it’s horrible.
In an effort to strengthen our marriage, I decided to start with the bedroom. My ongoing project for the year is the buy all new pillows, comforters, sheets, etc, to make the room really feel like a place we can just relax and get comfy. I am doing my best to keep the electronics out of the room (although I can admit I’m losing the battle to get rid of the TV).
How do you know if you might need to make some changes in the bedroom? Follow me and take a look at…
Your bed. Do you get up in the morning and make your bed before heading out for the day? Are the covers all askew when you get home because you left in a rush that morning (most mornings)? Do you make it a point to buy nice sheets? How old are the pillows on your bed? Is it a simply a place to sleep (and other nighttime activities)?
Your dresser. Is it covered in old receipts and empty gum wrappers? Are your perfume bottles all in a row? Are the dresser drawers usually open or closed? Are they overstuffed?
The floor. Are there clothes everywhere? Are they clean or dirty?
The TV. Is there a TV in your bedroom? Do you keep the TV on all night as you sleep? Do you lay and watch Law & Order instead of talking to each other?
The kids’ stuff. Could someone walking into your bedroom immediately tell you have kids: a child’s sock on the floor, your daughter’s favorite Dora the Explorer shirt in the corner, your son’s blankie on the bed?
If you found yourself cringing or thinking to yourself, “Um, yeah. Guilty on all those,” there is hope for us yet. Here’s four resolutions I had to make to keep our bedroom feeling comfortable and sexy:
1) We will put the clothes away the same day they are washed. Yeah, we’re guilty of the “Just grab a clean shirt out of the clothes basket” routine, but I noticed that if it do it that way, it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to “Are these clothes clean or dirty?” And no one wins at that game.
2) We will keep the kids stuff in THEIR room. I hated climbing in bed at night and having to take Curious George books out from under the comforter, or spraining my ankle on a stray Lego.
3) We will use the sleep timer on the TV. This is our compromise on keeping the TV in the bedroom. (But I still want it gone!)
4) We will not do work into the bedroom. This one is mainly for me, but I’ve made a vow that work (and my laptop) stays downstairs. Yes, that means not browsing Facebook while in the bed. My attention should be focused on other, more important, things. *smile*
Is it a struggle to keep your bedroom a “room for romance”? Who’s taking these pledges with me? Do you think making your bedroom an inviting space can make a positive impact on your marriage?
Kristen R. Harris says
Tara, I definitely need to take leave work out of the bedroom. My husband falls asleep on me many nights as I click away on my laptop…I know, Ive got to do BETTER! Thanks for the reminder!
Briana Myricks says
I’m with you! I need to get things together in my bedroom. I think new sheets, putting more of the clothes away, and maybe setting up some candles will help.
Wwwdotgirl says
Guilty on all counts. Goodness, I’ve got lots of work to do.
Amy Harman says
I keep re-starting m goal to make our bed in the morning. I’m inspired to make that goal again!
Lamar says
When we make our bed up it just feels a lot better in there. LOL
Tamara Floyd says
So true…many of these tips can be applied in every room of the house. I think decluttering i.e putting a way clothes the same day and keeping items in there respective place such as toys will assist in all relationships. It helps to create a less stressful sanctuary like home environment.
Ronnie_BMWK says
We started making the bed in the morning together…that’s cool. The TV part will be a struggle..but Lamar and I are discussing it. And I really do want to re-decorate just to make my bedroom more of a sanctuary.
I used to have a desk in my bedroom….big mistake. But sometimes I bring the laptop to bed.
In addition to focusing on the room…we are focusing on what we do in it. We talk more, we clean the room together, we pray together….things like that are strengthening our bond too.
Angelic A says
SMH at myself… guilty on all counts!!! I will definitely share this with the hubby and we can BOTH work toward making some needed changes!
Adrienne Gordon says
Good Stuff!!!!! Always room for improvement!!! SMH!!!!
Wifeof1momof4 says
Tara, I am with you! I have been on a mission since the spring to rid my room of things that keep it from being my sanctuary. (Especially the books & toys). I remember NOT being able to go into my parents bedroom for hanging out & playing and I am trying to get back to that point with my children. 🙂
Ndellery says
I went home and immediately began cleaning and decluttering our bedroom! I tossed all of the kids stuff out purchased a few new items and immediatley felt so much better. Thanks for the post!
Shawna Renee says
A wise man told me many years ago, “no TV in the bedroom”, if you’ve got time to watch TV, you’ve got time to do “other things”. I took the TV out of the bedroom over 10 years ago and I don’t miss it a bit.
Yvette_Iam says
Tara, Your article sounds like you were talking about my bedroom. If I am not tripping over an action figure it is a sneaker. The kids take over our room. You have inspired me to take our bedroom back from the kids and redecorate. I want it to be a romantic place were my husband and I can go to grow closer to each other. I am committed to creating a place of luxury and a sanctuary for us to retreat to. Thanks for the inspiration!
Mn_martin says
I make sure that I get up early enough in the morning to clean the house by the time I leave to go to work in the morning. And here lately…i have wanted to have a T.V. burning ceremony. It seems like the T.V. takes up so much of our time…between that and the computer….my husband is a movie/t.v. junkie and I am the music junkie…i have brought up taking the t.v. out of the bedroom all together but i didn’t win that ‘battle’ either! Good luck to the rest of you ladies!
Kevin Warmack says
We do make the bed every morning and we do have a sleep timer on the TV. I’m with you as far as getting the TV out of the room. Now I just have to get my wife to understand about working and eating in the bedroom.
Tahra says
We are guilty on all counts of this post! We must do better to make our marriage better! I will start today by putting away all the clothes, tossing some clothes out of the over-stuffed drawers, and moving all the kid’s things back into their room!
Thanks for this post!
Onie_inthemakin says
Tara, did my husband contact you about our room?…I feel so guilty, then the sinks in our on-suite aren’t at all happy either. I’m usually the one that likes to fold clothes in my room, watch TV in private, and oh, the “Hot Wheels” garage is putting a wear and tear on my feet. I pledge that will make my bedroom more appealing, oh how I need the stress-free environment.
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