During our last #MarriageChat, we asked the question:
And we received several great answers such as:
I was young when I had my first child (20) and I raised him based on what I learned from my parents. But I didn’t consciously think about how my actions would or could impact the person that he would become. I just loved him, fed him, played with him..but there was not a conscious plan.
And being young is no excuse as I personally know plenty of young mothers that are very intentional about how they raise their kids . For instance, our very own Tara Pringle Jefferson, The Young Mommy, is one of the best mommies I know.
But when you know better, you do better. So 18 years and 3 additional kids later, I know that I have grown as a parent and I am definitely more intentional about my actions, about my example as a parent, and about what I am teaching my children.
In the book, Parenting & Partnering with Purpose, Dr. Natalie A. Francisco provides the following principles that parents should use in raising/mentoring their children:
“We must practice what we preach.” Our children are always watching us and we can’t expect them to excel if we are not excelling. We can’t expect them to have integrity if we don’t. We can’t expect them to work hard if we don’t. (And the list goes on.)
“We must be consistent in providing discipline and instruction.” Dr. Francisco says that discipline provides structure for our children. Teaching your kids how to obey rules and to respect authority will help them function in this world. Also be consistent; don’t set rules or punishments that you are not ready to enforce.
“Use every opportunity to pass on important values and life lessons.” We are faced with teachable moments everyday. We need to stay involved with our kids, know their likes, their friends, and what their are doing. Dr. Francisco says we should teach our kids to love God and obey his word, to fear (respect) God because when we respect God it is easier to respect parents and other people of authority, and teach them how to be happy by setting a positive example for them.
BMWK Family – are you parenting with purpose? Can you add to this list of things that we can do as parents to ensure that our kids achieve greatness?
I agree with the points that you mentioned. I would encourage parents to not just “settle” for average. I mean it is certainly okay to be average, but if your child is capable of more, why not challenge them more? Our son is still pretty young so we definitely are not experts, however I do think we have him on a path that has purpose. We have been fortunate to learn more than our parents (don’t tell them I said that) so I believe we can ideally direct him towards a successful path.
I imagine I probably need to check out the book you mentioned too. 😉
I think it’s a mix, and we need to evaluate where we are on the spectrum of structure vs winging it. I’m a high-structure person, so I need to lean more on the side of just enjoying the moment.
“There are parts of parenting in which we need to be intentional and
purposeful, and parts where we just need to “wander†and enjoy.”
I wrote about this same topic after a trip to the mall:
https://differentway4kids.blogspot.com/2010/12/shopping-purchasing-and-parenting.html
My mom definitely parented with a purpose. She supported me in my endeavors, listened to me when I needed/wanted to talk, made sure I had everything I needed, and spent quality time with me. I never saw her as anything other than my mom and my best friend.