The first account of marriage in the bible is found with Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18. The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper SUITABLE for him.” (Emphasis mine)
God determined it was not good for man to be alone, so He created a woman who was just right for him. Now, in today’s culture we have become much more accustomed to compatibility versus suitability. Let’s compare the two.
Compatible: able to exist or occur together without conflict.
Suitable: right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation.
Do you see why our generation has settled for a compatible person versus a suitable person? It is with a compatible person you focus more on external similarities such as: hobbies, friends, and interests.
Just because you both can laugh together over a movie and play basketball against one another does not make them a suitable spouse for you.
Suitability is the biblical term used in Genesis to describe the type of mate God created for Adam. A person who is suitable for you goes beyond similar interests, but more into the purpose of God for that person’s life. I agreed to not be in any relationship until after I graduated high school, which I successfully completed. I did not enter into my first committed relationship until my second year of college. She was a great girl who loved God, and had a true desire for ministry. Everything made sense in my mind because we were very compatible and all of my friends were in complete support of it. It started out as a friendship, and eventually developed into more.
I would spend hours with God begging Him to tell me if she was the one.
I began to ride on the roller coaster of emotions rather than being patient to get a peace from God. One day while being on an emotional high, it resulted in me asking her into a committed relationship. From the first day I knew I had made a mistake.
Because I did not want to look bad in front of my friends, and also hurt her, I continued in the relationship believing I would eventually fall for her. That relationship lasted six months which it was a constant up and down roller-coaster for me going back and forth whether she was my wife or not.
One day I had a talk with a friend of mine that had been in a similar situation in a previous relationship. He said to me, “Jamal, God is too good to give you something you don’t desire.” I took that phrase to God, and asked Him, if it was true. For the first time in those six months I was honest with myself about how I really felt. I ended the relationship and fortunately we stayed pure during our time together.
There had been no physical tie, but an emotional tie did develop because of the seriousness of the relationship. She was a great friend and we were very much compatible, but we were not suitable. When a person suits your life there will be a peace because it means God has blessed the now, and the later. The freedom that came over me after I ended the relationship was unexplainable in words. I knew I had put my life back into God hands, and I did not want to make the mistake of depending on myself ever again.
This is why it is imperative for you, as a believer, to pursue someone who is not only a believer, but also as spiritually mature as you. To determine suitability you must have the involvement of God in the relationship. A person who is suitable for you will be beneficial and necessary for God’s plan for your life.
BMWK: After thinking it over, are you compatible or suitable with your mate?
Martey Zutah says
You have deeply educated me. God bless you and your ministry
Annette Brooks says
A friend sent this to me!! I wasn’t understanding suitable so I asked
After reading compatible/ suitable it gave me understanding and it education between the 2..their are times i have question God asking him why am i along, explaining to him am a good woman ,i work i praise u but jet am by myself am still by myself …I don’t know whether you answer back or not but thank you ….u helped me