What I’ve learned after 13 years of marriage, is that when God tells you to do something, you should do it. Don’t be like me and say “no thanks” because maybe when God is telling me to move, He may also be opening up my wife’s heart to forgive me and to accept my apology. But if I wait until I feel like doing it, now her heart is closed. Everything in the game of life is about timing. When a quarterback is throwing a pass to his receiver, that receiver is only open for a split second, throw it too late or too early it’s an incomplete pass or an interception and you don’t move anywhere down the field, you just stay in the same place. In fact, if the ball’s intercepted you actually lose ground.
Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. – Proverbs 13:10
And to be honest, that’s what a lot of us are doing, staying in the same place, moving backwards or not moving anywhere in our marriages because a.) there’s too much pride involved and b.) we’re not moving when God tells us to. So about 5 years ago I made a New Year’s Resolution that I would start admitting when I was wrong. I can now say 13 years later that I’m a MUCH better at apologizing than I was when I first got married. But first, I had to understand AND grasp God’s placement for me as the head of the household of my marriage and family and two, I had to come to realize that I couldn’t be a great leader if I was SO prideful that I couldn’t admit when I’m wrong.
So, my challenge to the readers this week is if you’re beefing with someone, reach out just to say “I’m sorry.” Even if you feel like you did nothing wrong. Simply say “I’m sorry if I offended you” or “I’m sorry for whatever part I played in our friendship not being what it used to be.” I’m telling you, once you learn to keep your pride at bay, you’ll have SO much more peace in your life…trust me on that.
BMWK – Have you found it difficult to say I’m sorry?
Peace. Nice article brother.
I like the example of the ‘peace offering’… I think many of us are guilty of similar things and I like how you explained it and said it’s good but not good enough. I agree. Keeping our pride at bay definitely helps relationships stay positive and healthy.
I’m surprised that you suggest that people give this half-built apology –> “I’m sorry if I offended you”
It’s not something I support. Being wrong and being offensive is very different in my mind. What helped me with with apologies is knowing that to be offensive is very easy and we are offending someone almost all of the time. It’s not about being in the right, and most times when I look back … I would do things differently in life.
I support apologizing as you say. Good stuff and keep up the insightful writing brother.
Peace.
Follow me! @CMediaUSA
-Gee James
Great comment Gee. Especially, “knowing that to be offensive is very easy and we are offending someone almost all of the time.” Good stuff.
Peace and nice article brother.
I like the example of the ‘peace offering’… I think many of us are guilty of similar things and I like how you explained it and said it’s good but not good enough. I agree. Keeping our pride at bay definitely helps relationships stay positive and healthy.
I’m surprised that you suggest that people give this half-built apology –> “I’m sorry if I offended you”
It’s not something I support. Being wrong and being offensive is very different in my mind. What helped me with with apologies is knowing that to be offensive is very easy and we are offending someone almost all of the time. It’s not about being in the right, and most times when I look back … I would do things differently in life.
I support apologizing as you say. Good stuff and keep up the insightful writing brother.
Peace.
Follow me! @CMediaUSA
-Gee James
Gee,
I wasn’t saying that saying “I’m sorry if I offended you” is a half built apology. I was saying that in life sometimes we say something that has offended someone and we don’t even know it. There have been plenty of times that I found out later on down the line that something I did 5 years ago hurt one of my closest friends. So when I said I’m sorry that offended you wasn’t a halfway apology at all. It was a true to heart apology, I guess the way I’m built is I don’t do half stuff…either I’m apologizing or not. So when I challenged the readers to do that it’s because I’m sure a lot of us have beef with people and in our mind it’s THEIR fault and in their mind it’s OUR fault. I guess I assumed that if you get the gist of the article it’s to stop being fake and be true to yourself and your loved ones. If folk get that then their shouldn’t be any more half apologies IMO.
Good stuff! Keep up the support and good writing brother!
Nice article Kil. If we could remove the pride from our relationships and marriages things would be so much easier.
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