So, the other day the garbage disposal in the house broke. After getting the number for the repair person, I sent it to my wife for her to give the guy a call and schedule the repair. Now mind you, normally when we need a repair or anything related to taking care of stuff with the house, my wife usually handles it. I make sure she has the money to get it done. Well, this time when I sent her the number she responded, “Why can’t you call?” I said, “Because you normally take care of those things.” With a slight attitude she said, “Well you could have called the guy as easily as I could have.”
My reply, “Ummm…ok, I’ll handle it.”
After calling the repair guy and setting up the appointment and letting her know what he charged (like she asked me to) she says….”Well…we need to call a few other people and get price quotes. He’s kinda high. Now that I think about it, we can probably just YouTube it and do it ourselves…you think?”
The dialogue that happened between us is the reason I asked her to handle it in the first place. For me I saw the problem, found the solution, and put the solution in play (repair guy, Friday night at 5:30pm Boom!) Now after I’ve done that, suddenly she wants to add 13 more steps to what I saw as a 3 step process. Now I’m a little frustrated and I’m back to….”Well how about you just handle it!” I know some of my brothers out there feel me on this! This got me to thinking even more about how in our relationships we can allow our man and woman differences to cause more frustration than they need to. Many times that frustration comes from the fact that we want our mates to think as we do and when that doesn’t happen sometimes it can cause conflict. I heard Pastor Steven Furtick say “Frustration is the difference between what we expect and what we experience.” Here are a few areas where men and women may differ and if we just seek to understand we won’t be as frustrated.
Okay…I know every woman in America is going to say this is an “excuse” and won’t even try to understand this point, but if you understand it, you just might make your lives easier.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti?”
When you pour syrup on a waffle, it falls into the squares…every section is separated from the next. Nice and orderly right?
Well, when you put sauce on spaghetti, it falls all over the place, no rhyme or reason. Once the sauce is spread, it’s all in a big pile but it ends up working out just fine. For men if we have established clear roles and duties then we will probably do exactly what our role entails…we will do what’s in the squares. Women however, are more “big picture” oriented. Things can be all over the place and everywhere for them, but they make sense of it all even amid the seeming chaos.
See how the story concludes on the next page —>
LaDawn Elliott says
Go ahead Mrs. Spry. Now that’s ingenuity for ya. Great article Troy. I live in a world of men, so I have gotten accustomed to doing just what you mention in this article. Although I;ve never heard the waffle and spaghetti analogy…lol. I know that you are are simple, direct, and solutions oriented fixers…no fluff, frills or extras. I get that and have learned to appreciate that in my home. Women guys take direction and instruction very well if we keep it simple. I have to always remember that men and women not only communicate in different ways, we also process differently. So every now and then I will run a check on how effective my communication is with my boys, and they will be honest and say all you needed to say was… Anyway, good article sir. Both sexes can do a better job at seeking to understand, and being a little more flexible in our roles from time to time.
Troy Spry says
Thanks LaDawn and I couldn’t agree more! It’s great that you keep the communication so open with your boys and I’m sure as a result everyone feels understood!
Kristina says
Very insightful, in my marriage this could work if we didn’t argue before it was resolved. I feel like I’m on my own, we both work and I find myself making the phone calls, filling out paperwork and then paying also. How do you determine when one partner is doing way to much?
Bridget says
Great article and funny! It had me laughing because my mentors have been married for >25 years and we talk about this very thing. They are a great Christian couple and all I could hear in my head was him saying “men are very simple creatures” 🙂