So, back to my story about the disposal repair…of course I could have called the repair guy…but that’s not normally my responsibility; it wasn’t in my waffle square, if you will please note though, that I called once she asked me to!
Ladies another example might be dishes in the sink. If your guy walks past a sink full of dirty dishes 10 times, he will probably continue to walk on by if doing the dishes isn’t something that he normally does in the house. However, if he is like me, if you ask him to do something he will oblige. So, instead of getting mad or passive aggressive, do yourself a favor and just ASK him to do the dishes. Take it from a guy: yes, he sees them there but it probably won’t click in his mind “I should do these dishes” if that is not something that normally falls into one of his waffle squares!
I hear every lady right now saying, “Well I shouldn’t have to ask!!!” and I understand because in your spaghetti mind handling multiple things comes naturally, but it doesn’t for US! If you think I’m lying then watch your man try to multitask and see how well he does. My wife gets frustrated with me because I just can’t seem to talk to her and watch TV at the same time. She thinks I’m just ignoring her when realistically I’m just not good at multi-tasking. Now that she understands that about me, if she wants to get something across to me, she will ask me to mute the TV or turn away from the computer and face her as we speak. Just like a man I try to prove that I can do both and hit her with the “I’m listening babe,” but if I’m honest with myself while I might HEAR her, I’m really not LISTENING (she has also figured this out…thus the muted TV and facing her when we speak!).
Fellas, we don’t get a pass on everything just because we are different in our thought process. Just like we want our wives to cater to our thought process, we must cater to theirs sometimes as well. For example, sometimes we have to ANTICIPATE her needs even if they aren’t CLEAR. Every now and then instead of walking past those dishes, just go ahead and do them. Sometimes even though she normally calls the repair guy, you go ahead and call and get the information needed. The truth is that, even though I got a little frustrated initially with my wife for making the disposal repair more complicated than I thought it needed to be, she ultimately made me very proud of her. She didn’t get an estimate she was happy with, so she found a video tutorial on You Tube and replaced the disposal on her own while I was out of town for work. This is another testament to men and women using each other’s strengths and differences for a better result. Besides…who doesn’t like saving a few dollars?!
BMWK: Do you and your wife have a different thought process?
Go ahead Mrs. Spry. Now that’s ingenuity for ya. Great article Troy. I live in a world of men, so I have gotten accustomed to doing just what you mention in this article. Although I;ve never heard the waffle and spaghetti analogy…lol. I know that you are are simple, direct, and solutions oriented fixers…no fluff, frills or extras. I get that and have learned to appreciate that in my home. Women guys take direction and instruction very well if we keep it simple. I have to always remember that men and women not only communicate in different ways, we also process differently. So every now and then I will run a check on how effective my communication is with my boys, and they will be honest and say all you needed to say was… Anyway, good article sir. Both sexes can do a better job at seeking to understand, and being a little more flexible in our roles from time to time.
Thanks LaDawn and I couldn’t agree more! It’s great that you keep the communication so open with your boys and I’m sure as a result everyone feels understood!
Very insightful, in my marriage this could work if we didn’t argue before it was resolved. I feel like I’m on my own, we both work and I find myself making the phone calls, filling out paperwork and then paying also. How do you determine when one partner is doing way to much?
Great article and funny! It had me laughing because my mentors have been married for >25 years and we talk about this very thing. They are a great Christian couple and all I could hear in my head was him saying “men are very simple creatures” 🙂