When it comes to parenting, I believe that mothers know best. I have a son and a daughter. They mean the world to me, and, of course, I want what’s best for them in love and life. I didn’t grow up seeing what a healthy, loving relationship looked like, so it is important for me to show them that example through the relationship I have with my husband. As a mom, I know how big my role is in influencing how my son treats women in the future because I’m the first woman in his life. Let me share with you some lessons a mom should teach her son about life and love.
Mothers Know Best | What Sons Need to Learn from Mom
- Our School at Home — What Moms Can Teach Their Sons About Treating Women
- The Future Is Always Uncertain
- Never Say “I Love You,” Unless You Mean It
- Always Be Yourself
- Don’t Buy Anyone’s Love
- Never Compete with Someone Else for Her Affection
- If You Don’t Love Her, Let Her Go
- Don’t Act Like Her Dad
- Show Her Appreciation
- Always Treat Her with Respect
- If You Are Intimate with Her, Be Prepared to Father Her Child
- Never Raise Your Hand to a Woman. Ever.
Our School at Home — What Moms Can Teach Their Sons About Treating Women
As a mother, I always try to focus on their education, the importance of faith and life — lessons I believe they will carry with them long after they leave my home. And although most of the lessons I teach are applicable regardless of gender, there are a few lessons I hope I can specifically teach my son.
It’s not that these lessons don’t apply to my daughter, because they do. And I will have a similar conversation with her, but I believe there is something unique about the relationship between a mother and son. As a woman, there are things I want to share with him about how he should interact with the women in his life.
The Future Is Always Uncertain
The truth is, I don’t know what my son’s future will look like. Maybe he will get married or maybe he’ll decide not to. But whatever his life looks like, I hope he keeps these lessons in mind as he navigates love and life. I believe that a mother knows best in certain areas so I feel a bigger responsibility to share these lessons with my son.
Here are 10 things I think every mom should teach her son about relationships.
1. Never Say “I Love You,” Unless You Mean It
The phrase “I love you” is thrown around far more than it should be. There are definitely consequences that come with professing your love for someone if you don’t mean it. I want my son to know that even when he has strong feelings for someone, if he is unclear about whether or not it’s love, he shouldn’t say a thing. Chaos and broken hearts are always the results of claiming to love someone when you don’t.
2. Always Be Yourself
Our sons should feel free to be who they want to be in life. They shouldn’t have to spend extra money, lie or dress a certain way just to attract a particular woman. I believe if my son feels confident about who he is, the right woman will see that and appreciate him for his authenticity.
3. Don’t Buy Anyone’s Love
If my son sees a gold digger, I hope he has the good sense to run the other way. Sure, it’s okay to spend money on nice dinners or gifts for a woman you have feelings for, but there has to be a limit. He shouldn’t spend what he doesn’t have, and he shouldn’t feel like she will walk away if he stops spending.
4. Never Compete with Someone Else for Her Affection
I think every mother probably believes that her son is going to grow up to be such an incredible man that any woman who doesn’t see and appreciate that can kick rocks. That’s how I feel about my boy. If she’s smart, she’ll recognize your son’s relationship potential (remember, you trained him how to respect women). He shouldn’t have to compete for her eye. We should warn our boys against getting caught up in any kind of love triangle. It’s rarely ever worth the drama associated with it.
5. If You Don’t Love Her, Let Her Go
Simple enough, right? I have seen too many men in my life string women along — sometimes for years. Some of these very same men may think they’re doing this because they don’t want to be the “bad guy” who ends things. But, we should all teach our sons that doing so is selfish and damaging. After a while, staying with someone you don’t see a future with just isn’t the right thing to do.
6. Don’t Act Like Her Dad
Men shouldn’t treat a love interest like a child because she’s not. Even if a woman grew up without a dad, she shouldn’t want or expect her husband to act like one. It’s not healthy.
7. Show Her Appreciation
Show me a happy woman, and I will show you a woman who feels appreciated. I think this one piece of advice will help my son avoid a lot of potential conflict with the woman he chooses to be with.
8. Always Treat Her with Respect
This is never negotiable. If a man can’t respect a woman, he shouldn’t be with her. It’s just that simple. You don’t always have to agree with your lady, but you need to respect her.
9. If You Are Intimate with Her, Be Prepared to Father Her Child
Yep. This is just a part of life. If you are mature enough to have sex, and you believe this woman is worth it, just remember that there is always a chance she will get pregnant. Always. If the thought of having a child with her makes you cringe, keep your friend in your pants. It may be an uncomfortable topic to broach with your young man, but your young man needs to hear it.
10. Never Raise Your Hand to a Woman. Ever.
There is never a reason for this. I don’t care what the woman says or does, the man has to walk away. We have to tell our sons that they have to exit a situation before it ever escalates to physical violence. And even if a woman hits him, he needs to find the nearest door and leave.
In this video from Good Morning America, a child psychologist shares tips on how parents can raise respectful men:
Sons depend a lot on their dads for relationship advice, but in some areas of life, mothers know best. When it comes to relationships, sometimes, the best way to a girl’s heart is to learn from mom. We hope you get to impart these important lessons to your son and help them become the perfect gentleman you want them to be. Also, remember that sons can teach their moms just as much as moms teach their sons, so be sure to keep those communication lines open at all times!
BMWK moms, in what areas of life do you believe mothers know best and what do you plan to teach your sons about relationships?
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on June 10, 2016. It has been updated for quality and relevancy.