by Bhek and Allison Simmons
Bhek and Allison Simmons have been together for over 20 years, 17 as husband and wife. Through the ups and downs of life and marriage, they have used their faith – and a bit of comedy — to uphold and enrich their marriage as they seek to assist other couples in learning how to live and grow together.
Check out what Bhek and Allison have to say about building a strong, long lasting marriage:
He Says . . .
1. Lay down your sword. There is nothing gained by fighting your partner. Win or lose, you lose.
2. Seek first to serve. Both of us worried about her or both of us worried about me means someone is getting marginalized. That is toxic.
3. Listen. No really. Formulating an answer while she is talking is not listening. Hear her. Rephrase what you thought she said to try and get it right. There is no peace as long as she feels misunderstood.
4. Keep your word. Trust will carry you through where success eludes. Once trust is lost, so is respect. That can take years to repair.
5. Be patient. When people feel like there is no room for their issues or imperfections, they are encouraged to be less than open and honest. See #4.
I try to practice all five of these every day. I fail at some part of it every day. Which brings me to the bonus tip:
6. Realize that you and your spouse and your marriage are all “works in progress” that are continually evolving. Have a sense of humor about yourself and forgive at least twice as much as you require forgiveness. You have until you die to get it right.
Pamela Jenkins says
Bhek and Alison, this is awesome. I have known this couple from the beginning and they do live what they say.
Allison says
Pam Jenkins! We are chasing behind you and Glen Jenkins! Thanks so much for supporting us and being a continual light in our lives! We love you madly! And YES, the Jenkins’ have known us “from the beginning” of it all! LOLOLOL!
Heath Wiggins says
Congrats Allison. I’m glad to see you are pursuing your goals of helping couples. We have to talk again soon.
Allison says
Mr. Wiggins,
I’m just trying to work it the way you are! Willing to support any family who is trying to uphold the sanctity of the marriage covenant! Keep rolling in your gift, my friend! We will be running right beside you (or behind you trying to catch up! LOLOL!)
Webster says
Jus what I needed, I have been having fights with my partner for a while but ever since I started following this page, I’m now have some understanding about some of the things that I was not aware of in a marriage. Thank u so much for sharing a such wonderful tips.
Ronnie Tyler says
Webster thank you for reading the site and leaving a comment. I happy that the articles are able to help you in your marriage.
Allison says
Webster, you are most welcome. We have been married long enough now to know that we STILL don’t know everything we need to know about how to properly conduct ourselves in marriage. Just remember, it is a “work in progress”. It is really hard, but it will be the small positive changes that will make the big difference over the course of time! Try them, you will see changes if you don’t give up! Good luck!
jabri says
This article was truly amazing..my husband and i got married almost 6 months ago…we are fairly young and are looking for a couple to mentor is through the good send bad times
jabri says
This article was truly amazing..my husband and i got married almost 6 months ago…we are fairly young and are looking for a couple to mentor us through the good and bad times
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