I’m here to help you find and keep the love of your life. So why in the world would I share advice on how to know when to call it quits in a relationship? Because every second you spend with the wrong one is a second you’re not with “The One.”
3 Signs You Should Call It Quits in a Relationship
In this article:
- You don’t share core values or common goals.
- What’s your body saying?
- Give your intuition some credit.
I experienced this firsthand because in almost all of my dating relationships I stayed way past the expiration date! I also have coached women and men who struggle to save a relationship that’s already over.
Sometimes we stay too long.
“But I love him!” I hear many women say. Unfortunately, love isn’t a good enough reason to stay in a relationship. Neither are your hopes for marriage. Remember, your goal is to be “happily married,” not just married.
So how do you know when you should stay in a union that isn’t going anywhere? When should you call it quits in a relationship?
I’m not the one to tell a person what to do when it comes to their relationships. I’ve learned a long time ago that matters of the heart can be tricky. Chances are you already know in your head what you should do. It’s your heart that’s keeping you stuck.
So instead of telling you what to do, I’ll share some empowering tips to help you make a wise decision for your life.
1. You Don’t Share Core Values Or Common Goals
You don’t want kids. He does. You want marriage. He’s not sure. It’s been 3 years and he still can’t make up his mind. God has given us wisdom when He said, “Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” (Amos 3:3 MSG)
If you’ve realized you and your partner don’t share core values or common goals, you’re at a fork in the road. You have two options: 1) Compromise and settle for a relationship without your needs being met OR 2) walk away.
2. Listen To Your Body
Healthy relationships should be easy. Sure, there’s conflict, but too much drama can be a sign that this isn’t a right fit for your life.
If there’s more stress in your dating life than joy, it could be time to step back and look at the signs, and how you’re feeling in your body could be a big red flag!
Feelings buried alive never die. They tend to show up somewhere in your body! And they can sometimes be a good indicator that it’s time to call it quits in a relationship. Is your stomach in knots? Do you feel depressed? Are you losing or gaining weight? If you listen to what your body is telling you, you’ll get a clearer sense of what to do.
3. Listen To Your Intuition
God gives us the spiritual gift of discernment. It’s the still, small voice of God giving you direction, wisdom and answers to your most pressing questions. To hear this voice, you have to quiet the other voices in your head!
Try this exercise to help you get some clarity. Get in a quiet spot, grab a journal and answer the following questions:
- What will it cost me to stay?
- What will it cost me to leave?
The cost of your decision is all of the consequences you’ll face if you stay or if you go. For example, how much time have you already wasted trying to convince someone to commit to you? What negative emotions have you experienced and how have they impacted your life? Did you lose peace of mind? Do these negative things outweigh the positives?
If the price of staying is too high, then its time to walk away.
You can feel torn over whether you should end a relationship, especially if you really love the person. However, relief comes when you make a decision. I’m here to support you every step of the way!
I’m curious, BMWK: Have you ever stayed too long in a relationship? How did you know when it was time to call it quits? Please share your story below.
Editor’s Note: BMWK originally published this post on December 3, 2014. We have updated it for quality and relevancy.