We all know what happens when we fail to take care of something we love. It begins to change—no longer fresh or as strong as it once was. Whether it’s your hair, your body, your home or your marriage, failing to care for what matters most has negative consequences.
And the lack of care doesn’t just happen overnight, nor is it always intentional. It’s something that builds up over time. We start off doing our best, but life gets in the way, and our best becomes just enough. Then what was once enough just isn’t much of anything anymore.
So what should you do if you feel like your marriage just isn’t what it once was? You need more than just good intentions. Sadly, intentions aren’t able to sustain anything in life. Even if you have the best intentions for your marriage, things begin to fall apart if your actions are not in alignment with those intentions. Good intentions are wonderful, but life requires more from us.
If your marriage is in the shambles, you need to take active steps to renew it. Renewal makes things strong again, so when something as important as your marriage starts to feel weak—like it’s fading—renewing it is arguably one of the most important things you can do if you want your marriage to last.
Making your marriage feel fresher and stronger isn’t always easy, but it is possible. And not only is it possible, but you can have fun doing it. Here are three exciting steps to help you bring your marriage back to life.
Practice a New Habit
When it comes to turning things around in a marriage, we often hear lots of talk about therapy and counseling. Although there is tremendous value in both, sometimes the little things matter just as much.
Try to think of a small habit you can begin to practice that will make your spouse feel loved and appreciated. The new small habit can be as simple as kissing your spouse daily when they come home or sending a midday text to let your spouse know you are thinking about him or her. It doesn’t have to be anything major, and it doesn’t have to cost a thing. It can even be something that brings you a little excitement too, such as making a habit to discuss the funniest part of your day.
Whatever it is, it just needs to be from the heart and consistent in order to make a difference. This daily habit can remind you of why you chose to marry your spouse, and it will remind your spouse of why he chose you.
Make Dating a Top Priority
I know everyone is always talking about dating your mate, but I have to tell you that it truly works. I recently started going on more dates with my husband, and it has made such a difference. It gives us a chance to enjoy each other’s company in a way we rarely do because we have kids and life is just crazy.
But in order to renew your marriage, dating has to be a priority for both you and your spouse. If it isn’t, you will always find a reason to postpone your date. But if you make it a top priority, and you consistently date your spouse, you will begin to see a marked difference in your connection and in the quality of your relationship. You will also get the added benefit of stress-free enjoyment outside the house, which is a win-win. So get a babysitter, figure out what you’d both like to do, and make these dates happen.
Boring doesn’t work for most of us. When we get really bored with anything, we tend to neglect it—even if it’s something we love. This is one of the biggest reasons why people try new things. A new look, a new hairdo and a new workout routine—it’s all done in an effort to get excited, feel better and gain better results.
A great way to renew your marriage is to change things up. Maybe you can rearrange the furniture and redecorate your bedroom. Maybe you can each change your look. Maybe you can spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe you can change the normal activities you do for relaxation (i.e., instead of TV after dinner, go for a walk or enjoy a candle-lit bath).
Change is good, and the best way to make anything feel fresher, newer and stronger is to change things up. The break from the mundane is exciting in itself, which should stir up some new energy in the mix. And if doesn’t work out the way you expected, change something else.
BMWK, what do you do to renew your marriage?