2. Not All Sacrifices Are Good
I also learned I must be clear on what I need in a partnership and promptly request it. A great deal of time was spent in past relationships going with the flow and not getting my needs met. Sometimes, we think we are suppose to lose something or sacrifice a huge part of who we are just for the sake of having someone. I had to learn to be vocal and ask for what I needed and expect the same of my partner. There are certain things I am not willing to sacrifice that make up who I am. Lucky for me, I found a spouse who wasn’t looking for me to sacrifice those things.
Also checkout – 5 Sacrifices I’m Not Willing to Make in Marriage
3. I Don’t Have to Settle
I don’t have to settle for a mediocre relationship. I’ve always been pretty in tune with what brings me joy as well as what subtracts from my joy. There have been times when I was willing to accept a relationship that didn’t honor me and felt unhealthy. I thank God that He provided me with the wisdom to walk away when it was time. For me, I don’t think I’d survive a mediocre marriage. As a result, I give my marriage my everything because it adds to my life and I desire to keep it that way.
I am grateful that I began to learn these lessons right as I married my husband. There are definite reasons certain relationships don’t stand the test of time. Sometimes they were the wrong person for us and vice versa. There are usually takeaways from our past we can use that significantly contribute to our future relationships. I was able to learn from past mistakes and bring the best parts of myself to our relationship and it has greatly enhanced my marriage.
Also Checkout – Learning Your Lessons From Past Relationship Mistakes
BMWK, What have your exes taught you about marriage?
Tatianah G says
Loved this post Tiya, great advice and insight!
Tiya says
Thanks Tatianah!
Anonymous says
With me i leant that i need to be sure of what i wabt and stop being nieve. I didnt realize how much a person could love. It only hit me when i lost him. Today i learnt to understand the importance of loving those thay care about me fully and not just expecting it like everyone is going to do it.
I also learnt what it means to run your own race in life. I learnt that whatever u have can be lost anytime.
Lastly i learnt that its my own responsibility to make myself happy.
Lol just thought to share since we where on the topic
Tiya says
Thanks for your comment. You are correct, we are solely responsible for our own happiness!
B.Williams says
This is right on time. I’m still in undergrad. Never had a relationship and still getting used to this whole dating thing. My suitemate and I were just discussing how we can strengthen our dating skills. More specifically we talked about being present in the moment and speaking up about what exactly you want and are not comfortable with. It can get a bit frustrating when I fail to communicate but with time comes experience.
While I cannot say I am at the point where I have an old boyfriend who has had taught me several lessons but I am at a point where I am becoming more in tune with my patterns and behaviors in relationships with friends and family.
Tiya says
I just love your comment. It’s honest and a perfect place to be.