Great relationships are such a beautiful thing. When two people are so into each other and producing so much positive energy, it is simply a wonderful sight to see. We just always have to be mindful that with good, there will come some bad. There can be many peaks and valleys, and when we don’t take the right approach, this can easily lead to hurt, betrayal, and the revealing of cheating spouses.
So how does one remain faithful when they begin to have wandering eyes? When there is a desire to step outside the relationship and explore other options. Cheating should not be an option, and instead consider the following things in order to remain faithful and work towards overcoming this issue:
Remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
When we struggle in our relationships, it can be very easy to believe we would be better off elsewhere. Sometimes this can truly be the case, but don’t always let what you see fool you. What looks good isn’t always good for you, and it isn’t always better than what you already have. Don’t go wandering off, remain faithful. Make sure you take the time to water your current grass. Because focusing on pouring into your partner what they truly need from you, can many times get you the results you’re truly hoping for.
Stay away from the temptations.
We are all human and we will all face temptation even in the best of relationships. You just have to be mindful of what your weaknesses are and not put yourself in a position where you know you will struggle. If I’m a recovering alcoholic, I probably need to stay away from bars and wine tasting events. Well the same principle applies to individuals with a wandering eye. Of course you can’t avoid every possible temptation, but you can be pro-active about minimizing the opportunities that could eventually lead to you being another cheating spouse.
Understand and address why you are feeling this way.
In order to truly overcome this issue, you have to take a moment to understand why it is happening. Is it that you’re just having a moment of curiosity that needs to be curtailed? Or is your wandering eye the manifestation of a significant void that exists in your relationship? If it is the former, then following steps one and two may be enough to get you back on track. If it is the latter, then it is imperative that you go deeper and address the issue head on. Talk to your partner in an open and loving manner. Discuss what steps you two can take to improve the situation and grow stronger in this relationship. Running from the issue won’t make it go away, and will only create more issues in your relationship.
All relationships take work, and no situation is perfect. The goal is to get on the same page as your partner and move forward in a more positive direction. We will always see other people we are attracted to, but when that attraction can lead to being unfaithful, that is when we have a problem. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your partner. Communication is key, and can open the door to a better relationship that your eyes won’t be able to tear you away from no matter where they look.
BMWK – would you consider talking to your spouse if you are having feelings of temptation? What would you do (or have you done) to address this issue?
Finally says
I think all of these are great points, common sense, which I realize isn’t all that common any more. However, putting it into practice is where most fall short. Oftentimes, we think we’re “immune” to an extent to the pull, allowing too many people into that sacred space that marriage is supposed to be. At other times, some feel entitled because of the drama at home, and use the cop-out affair because the bottom line is this, they’re really unwilling to do the hard work required for honest, open communication and the commitment to do whatver it takes to preserve the union. We’ve become so committed to our own self-fulfillment, and it’s reinforced by everything around us, that we’ve forgotten that sowing this seed of unfatihfulness will reap it’s due harvest.
Vickie Lofton says
To answer your question, yes I am willing to discuss my feelings of temptation with my husband. I did this very thing when I was married. I expressed my feelings of neglect and asked him about things we could do. I made suggestions on things we could do. We even went to three different counselors for help (one included our pastor and his wife). They all did their best to help by asking us both questions. But when it was my ex-husband’s turn to speak, he said nothing. He had absolutely nothing to say about anything. This was highly frustating because I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest about my feelings. Well, what ultimately happened was, I CHEATED! Of course this is NOT something I’m proud of, but it happened, and I can’t take it back. This, among other things, ruined my marriage. I wish I would’ve handled things differently, but it seemed the worse things got at home, the stronger the temptation became. I couldn’t escape the guy I cheated with…he worked with me. Anyway, this has taught me a valuable lesson. I NEVER want to cause another man the pain my ex-husband endured after learning his wife cheated on him. I have been single ever since.
Abraham Ukhuregbe says
What should i do to secure a relationship? Am still single who is dedicated to God.
Stephanie Anderson says
Abraham, great name:-). I always wondered why single men would be concerned about being single, when God has given them the authority to go an find. ” He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and…
Obtain favor with God” You my King are already In good standing with God! (Dedicated). Ask God to show, bring, or send you to her. I can assure you she’s somewhere praying, asking God, where is her Boaz! Key; dont settle, make sure she is dedicated as well, to God:-) The other qualities can be of you choosing. God’s speed.
Anonymous says
Thank you for sharing your story. My relationship is struggling right now and my mind tells me to move on and find someone else. But my heart says otherwise. Despite the fact that things are rough and my boyfriend isnt speaking to me right now I won’t allow temptation to ruin who I am as a woman. I will end my relationship before I even consider cheating. Thank you again
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