3) Stop With the Sneaky Stuff
I’m not saying that your mate needs to know all of your passwords to everything, but I am saying that it will look very suspicious and make them very uncomfortable if you are very uncomfortable with them seeing your pages or interactions. If you are uneasy every time they come around or if you close out of your pages when your mate enters the room or takes a look over your shoulder, then something isn’t right. If you are sweating bullets because you left your page up and your spouse is the next person on the computer, then you will look GUILTY!
When you are able to be completely open, your mate will feel more comfortable about you and your relationship with social media. This is not to say they don’t trust you, but it is to say that everyone has some level of curiosity and hiding things only make for unnecessary tension and concern. Not to mention, when you are open you think twice about the things, whether innocent or not, that could be misinterpreted or seen as disrespectful. It makes you more cognizant and also you gain a level of peace in your relationship.
4) You Must Have Some Limitations
I admit …I’ve been guilty at times of being so engulfed in social media for my business that I forget that my wife, at home, needs the same kind of attention. Social media is so accessible that we don’t realize the amount of time we spend on it. And furthermore, we don’t see how much it bothers our mates to have to compete with it. Place some limitations on yourself, like after a certain time… you are done. No electronics during dinner or during dates. Whatever you have to do…DO IT so that your mate knows that he or she is most important to you and not the online friends that we spend so much time keeping up with. It may take some self-reflection and some strategic planning (especially if you use it for business), but it will be worth it for you and your relationship.
Remember that your mate wants nothing more than to be able to trust you 100%, even behind the screens of social media and the Internet. Remember that when those cyber friends are gone, your mate is the one who is actually going to be there in person, where it matters most. Don’t allow social media to ruin your relationship.
BMWK Fam – what do you think are some suggestions to manage your social media activity within your relationship?
WOW!! Thanks so much for this article. Unfortunately, it is timely for me. My boyfriend of 1.5 years recently blocked me from facebook after an argument. We’ve had issues in the past about him complimenting other women and such while not showing me that he completely values me, including not compliment me much in private nor in person. I was trying to not let the block bother me, but it does..especially as marriage has been a topic of discussion for us. So anyway, I just sent this article to him to show him a male point of view. I know some people say it’s just Facebook and that is true. To that I say, if it’s just Facebook then why the block and why can’t he truly acknowledge me there. I don’t have any problems with him communicating with female acquaintances as long as it’s respectful, is not with a regularity, is done in the open, and most importantly if she knows about me and he respects me and our relationship. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.
Thanks Rhonda and I am so glad that the article has helped. I hope your mate understands your perspective on this and that y’all can work it out!
I use social media for my business as well. But I try to leave as a business page. I love to network with other people and love helping others but I aim to be honest and upfront. I also try to conscious of the amount of time I spend on social media as well. There’s a balance that must be maintained. I also never promote the business while secretly messaging the intention of a relationship, especially being already committed to a relationship. Additionally, I make the practice not to mix business with pleasure. But I do like connecting my supporters, followers, and friends, but always do so in manner is that respectful to myself, my man, and even to the other person.
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