According to the Census Bureau, most Americans are marrying before they hit the 30 year mark. My husband and I got married when I was 24 and he was 27. Now, some 19 years later, I feel like we got married at a good age.
We have both changed since then as individuals and as a couple. Well, I’ll say we have evolved as a couple. We have had time to really learn about ourselves and each other and adjust accordingly. Some people may feel that waiting later in life is more beneficial for marriage. Waiting does have benefits as well as drawbacks, so I’ve listed some below.
- The earlier you get married, the quicker you can put an end to all the bad dates. You know the kind where you swear you are being punked. Being set up by friends and family will be over. You never have to hear that your friend/family member has someone you should meet.
- You can have kids early, and they are out of the house early. Speaking of kids, the earlier you marry, the more likely you and your spouse are to have no kids outside of the relationship. You may not have to worry about blending a family, getting your stepchildren, issues with co-parenting and child support.
- You grow together as a couple. Younger minds seem to be more pliable, which can benefit your relationship.
- You can set goals together. You’ve likely not achieved all your life goals, so you can work on building and working toward those goals together. Whether they are financial or personal, you will be more likely to work together as a couple to accomplish your goals and dreams.
- You probably don’t have a lot of assets when you’re younger. I know that sounds bad, but think about all the arguments this can solve. You’ll be less territorial because neither one of you came into the relationship with much. You don’t have to worry about whose house to live in, who needs to maintain what, etc., One less argument to have.
- You have less time to “sow your wild oats” and get your single play time out of your system. You probably won’t be clubbing like you used to. If you do, it may be frowned upon. You have a spouse now who would rather you spend your time with him or her.
- You may feel like you married too soon. You may wonder if you settled instead of waiting later to marry, which brings us back to disadvantage #1. And jumps us to another article, Marriage Ain’t No Punk.
- You may not be willing to compromise. You could be used to living on your own and making decisions that don’t affect anyone other than yourself. Therefore, you may find it hard to consult with your spouse before making decisions.
- You can’t travel like you want to. You’d think a joint income would give you more money than an individual income, but somehow it often doesn’t work out that way. Couples end up having to budget more to support their joint lifestyles, whereas singles are only financially accountable for themselves and can spend less discriminately. Unless you both were excellent at saving money before you got married, you may not have money to visit different places.
- You don’t get the chance to know yourself. Trying to figure out your role as husband or wife is hard enough without the added confusion of not knowing who you are as an individual. You may not be fully aware of your likes, dislikes, goals or dreams.
No matter your age, marriage is going to be a challenge. The challenge is merging two separate lives into one and into one household. I think you should never, ever allow age to determine when you get married. Maturity has no number. If you both want the relationship to last, put in the work. That way you can enjoy yourselves and each other.
BMWK, what are some advantages and disadvantages for marrying before 30 you can share?