The Code Word
When a boundary gets crossed and your spouse didn’t notice it or isn’t championing your case, create a code word that means, “hey babe…I need my champion to the rescue it-‘bout-now”. The code work should be a normal word you can use in a sentence around your in-laws, but they won’t notice it. Like the word “interesting.” For example, if Remy’s mother says something negative about Timarrah’s child rearing, she would say something like, “Oh…that’s an interesting way to look at it”. And that code word would trigger her champion to the rescue.
Admittedly, this is a tricky conversation to have. But not having it will cause more disgust and disdain for your in-laws—and maybe each other—after the holidays than you had before them. But the silver-lining in having this conversation is that you will be a stronger couple, having met this challenge and conquered it. Proving that, in fact, it’s truly ‘us against the world’.