You may have been single for a long time and have gotten used to a routine where you are doing the things you need to do or want to do on your own schedule without a thought. Yet, during all that time you wondered when would you become involved in a relationship? You have imagined it, dreamed about it (and even prayed about it) and now the time is here! Aside from the excitement of having a new friend with whom you share mutual interests and a mutual attraction, what are some of the ways where your lives must adjust to accommodate the growing relationship?
Spending Quality Time Together
In the past, you may have spent your time on recreational activities alone or with friends, or did nothing at all when you weren’t working. You also spent quality time with your child or children as all good parents do. Now that someone new is in the picture, spending time together is now a new item on the typical “To Do” list. Why not replace some of your typical activities with spending time with your new significant other, or better yet, include them in some of your everyday activities? If your activities mainly revolve around your children, you will then need to make some changes, and insert some “getting to know you” time into the schedule. Hire a babysitter or get friends/family to watch them for a couple hours as you spend time maybe at a park, at a mall or some other place getting to know this exciting new person.
Connecting via Social Media/Texting/Phone Conversations
When schedules (or distance) do not permit face-to-face encounters with your new romantic interest, consider using some of today’s technology to include him or her into your daily life. Sending a quick text to let them know you are thinking of them works wonders and can “hold them over” until you are able to have an extended conversation. Google Chat, Skype, Tango, FaceTime and other social media apps with video capabilities work well in maintaining connections across the miles. Other apps that include multimedia communications (such as voice recordings, photos and videos via WhatsApp) keeps things interesting.
Giving Gifts for Special Occasions/The Holidays
If you connected with your romantic interest significantly ahead of a major holiday season or their birthday, it’s time to consider appropriate gift ideas. If you met at the beginning of the holiday season (for example, at a friend’s Thanksgiving dinner), consider a thoughtful Holiday card with warm sentiments so that they know they are special to you.
Inviting Them to Special Events
Were you invited to a wedding and allowed to bring a guest? If you have connected long enough for you to feel comfortable doing so, think of inviting your new friend as your date for the occasion. This would be a great way to spend some time together and enjoy a special celebration. Let’s see how well they “clean up” for special events!
Seeking Their Input/Opinions on Decision-Making
If you have connected with each other and you both see a future in the relationship, decision-making will need to transition from “me” or “my” to “our”. For some couples this transition may happen later, but some will start discussions sooner. These discussions will further clarify if this person will be a great fit for your life and future.
BMWK family, what are other ways where a single person needs to make adjustments to fit in a new relationship?