5. One body has to be enough
Sex is one of the most important parts of marriage, but many people don’t realize that we begin preparation for our married sex lives long before our wedding day. As a Christian, I believe that sex was created to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. While that may seem archaic to some, I have seen the types of problems that arise when one or both parties fail to properly manage their sexuality as singles.
For men, mismanaged sexuality often takes the form of unrestrained indulgence. We are trained from an early age to believe that manhood is defined in part by the number of women we’ve been with. We are also taught that it is normal for men to feed our sexual appetite in whatever ways we find convenient, from mistresses to strip clubs to pornography. All of these things reinforce one message: one body is not enough. And while we have come to see this as a fact of life for single men, taking this attitude into marriage is a recipe for disaster.
A man who has sought variety and relished the feeling of conquest (again, see #1) may find the transition to a single partner in marriage to be quite difficult. That’s why men who have no desire or show little ability to remain monogamous should not get married. One body has to be enough. That’s what you commit to when you take your vows and that is the expectation your wife should rightfully have. In the event that you fall short of that standard for any reason your response should be to confess what you have done wrong, accept the consequences of your actions, and begin to do the hard work of rebuilding trust in your relationship.
There are certainly other things I could say to my single brothers, but I think these five are a good start. Marriage is a big commitment and it is never too early to begin preparing to be a husband. Doing so will likely require throwing out some of the things you’ve learned about what it means to be a man. It may feel like hard work, but it’s necessary if you want your marriage to be successful. Trust me, your future wife will thank you.
BMWK, what’s the one thing you think every man should know before he gets married?