As a woman, maybe you’ve been there, maybe you haven’t. But occasionally some of us have experienced the rejection of having a man choose another woman instead of you. Sometimes he may choose her as his girlfriend and sometimes he may choose her as his wife. Either way, it wasn’t you and his selection has been made clear. So there you are left to wonder why. Why did he choose her? What’s so good about her? Why didn’t he choose me? Your mind will begin to spin things and may make it a competition about looks or weight. Maybe you think you are prettier or skinnier.
Then you might start thinking that maybe its something you did. Like maybe you didn’t sex him enough or you burnt the chicken. It can drive you crazy trying to figure it out. Here is what you need to realize, 9 times out of 10 his choices have absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Its true, when a man chooses a woman, he does it based on HIS needs and not anyone else’s.
You will find out very quickly that you really don’t know what he needs or wants when he chooses someone else. Instead of worrying yourself silly about the situation, the best thing for you to do would be to move on. I’ve witnessed many situations where the “main chick” becomes the “side chick” for exactly these reasons. Someone else was selected and instead of moving on, you are going to prove to him why he should have chosen you instead.
Here are 5 suggestions that may help you to move on.
- Don’t waste valuable time trying to figure it out. It will just make you jealous and sad. He is not thinking about you. Don’t fool yourself and waste your time thinking that he is.
- Don’t diminish yourself by playing second to a man that did not choose you as his number one.
- Thank God and consider it a blessing. When He moves something out of your way. it’s usually to make way for something better!
- Don’t trick yourself into thinking that you can change his mind. He has made his choice, allow him to stick with his decision. Begging and pleading for explanations just makes you look desperate.
- Know your worth! You are valuable, just because someone else does not appreciate that does not change that.
You will never be able to move forward with your life if you continue to live in the past. Rehashing and reviewing this situation over and over again is just a waste of time. Dry your tears and move forward. You never know what is waiting for you around the corner.
BMWK, What advice would you give to a friend who is going through this?