This August my husband and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage. We’ve experienced ups and downs, similar to most other couples. But despite the challenges, our marriage is stronger than it has ever been. This is in part to a few things.
- Individually we’re improving. We’ve matured as a couple.
- The things we thought were such a big deal in the beginning aren’t worth fighting over now.
- Being mindful of how we speak to one another also came with our personal growth.
- Giving each other freedom in terms of hobbies and “me time” has also had a positive impact on our marriage.
- We’ve been able to successfully avoid menial disagreements and keep our focus on what’s good for us. Even if we get a little sidetracked on our goals for the relationship, I am always very optimistic about what we are bringing into our 16th year.
As the months draw closer and my hubby and I think of just how we want to celebrate number 16, there are a few things we should consider. One being to examine how specifically we showed up in year 15. Answering the questions below together, will assist us in preparing for a successful year ahead. Whether it’s year 16, 25 or 1 for you and your spouse, I hope you’ll also consider having this conversation. Remember, you must be completely honest as that’s truly how transformation happens.
1. What lessons did you learn in this year of marriage? Situations occur in our relationships that teach us something. We must look for the lesson in each challenge and apply it to how we love on our spouse.
2. How many ways did you make your spouse a priority in this year of marriage? Unfortunately, this one doesn’t always make it to the top of our to-do list. Spouses must make their first order of business their partner. We should also be seeking various ways to put our partner first.
3. What sacrifices did you intentionally make to benefit your marriage? Sacrifices should feel slightly uncomfortable if we’re doing them right. When we give up self for the sake of the person we love, we should feel it. Denying our selfish motives or evil intentions are necessary.
4. What goals did you accomplish together in this year of marriage? Any successful business, organization or individual began with a goal. If we don’t know what we’re working toward it’s even more challenging to arrive there.
5. How did you overcome any challenges you faced in this year of marriage? The true test of a marriage is how we face the difficult days. Believe it or not our challenges should draw us closer together.
6. What were the highlights for you both as a couple in this year of marriage? Recognize all the positives that occurred in your marriage. Being grateful for the blessings in your marriage is a reminder of what your relationship is really about.
7. What are you most looking forward to in the year ahead? Even if you barely made it through this year of marriage, consider what’s needed to move you both ahead to the relationship you’re hoping to experience.
I believe in our marriages, we must constantly seek ways to improve. We should always be maturing, and not repeating the same bad behaviors. In addition, couples must consistently love stronger and simply better as they progress in each of their anniversaries to come.
BMWK, what questions would you add to this list?
Anonymous says
What sacrifices did you intentionally make to benefit your marriage?
i’m not married but i’m engaged..im really grateful for all these articles.That question is really related to me. Long story short im not much of a fan of his family. Its as though i’m not welcomed there. Even though they know we have serious plans, i feel its hard to talk to them. we can talk, but its just knowing they would rather just speak to their baby boy than get to know me (which they always say). I’ve tried but there is only so much you can do. I would have understood if they knew me before but these people have never seen me before we started dating so i wonder why they ignore someone who is going to be a part of their family..
Reading that really made me feel like i’m not the only one who had to do something uncomfortable protect my relationship.. Thank you guys, its helped me a lot i was really thinking hard about this one today ..so much that i found myself contemplating taking off my ring but not anymore
This article really spoke to me KEEP IT UP!
Tiya says
Anonymous,
Thank you for your comment and your honesty. It’s a blessing to hear that the articles on BMWK have such an impact. For me, I had to learn to be gentle with my words and actually USE my words. I was queen of the shut-down. I could go days without speaking to my husband. I was what you called petty. If I hadn’t matured, I may have chased my husband away. But you’re right, both partners must sacrifice. Have you shared with your fiance how his support of you would benefit the relationship? Tell him you need him to stand up for you and explain why. I find that my requests land much better when I explain the reasoning behind them. I wish you both all the best.
Anonymous says
He says he has but his mum says a lot when she is mad. I just leave it now. i cant force them to like or speak to me so i just leave it .
Sharaell says
Great article Tiya!
Tiya says
Thanks for reading Sharaell!
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