by Frederick J. Goodall
Every Sunday, church pews fill up with despondent women who are forced to worship without the men in their lives. A recent survey by Ellison Research found that 31% of men never attend church even on holidays. This sad statistic prompts parishioners and ministers alike to ask: “Where are the men?” While it’s true that several men spend their Sundays satisfying their vices for sports, beer, and sleep, men who don’t attend church usually have more substantial reasons for not attending.
1. THEIR FATHERS DIDN’T ATTEND CHURCH
“Many men give their sons the impression that the church is not a place for real men by stereotyping Christian men as passive, effeminate, and henpecked – qualities no man desires,” says Frederick Davis, assistant pastor of the Almeda Church of Christ in Houston, TX. “As a result of their macho posturing, these men are inadvertently teaching their sons that church is only for women and wimps, and propagating new generations of unchurched men.”
A man’s lackadaisical attitude towards church attendance can influence his children’s perceptions of religion. This behavior is especially destructive if the man has a son. It is difficult for a mother to convince her son that attending church is important if her husband invalidates her arguments by sleeping late on Sundays.
“I would always wonder why my mom made me go to church when my father didn’t,” says Andre Ligon, a 40 year-old lawyer. “I didn’t think church was important because he never went.”
2. THEY HAVE TO WORK
As companies downsize and lay-offs lurk around every corner, men feel compelled to work as much as they can to provide some measure of security for their families. Neglecting their own spiritual growth is a small sacrifice for men who desire to keep their families out of dire straits.
George O’Neil, Sr., 63, retired, concurs. “When I got married and had children, I had to stop going to church as much as I used to because I had to get a steady job. I worked whenever I could get something which often meant on Sundays,” O’Neil said. “Something had to give -unfortunately, it was church.”
3. TOO MANY COLLECTIONS
With rising unemployment, higher taxes, and other financial woes, the last thing any man wants to see when he goes to church is a pastor with his hand out asking for more than his fair share of his income.
“I couldn’t take it anymore,” says Paul Johnson, a 52 year-old mailroom supervisor. “Before I could put my wallet away from the first offering, a battalion of collection plates would bombard me again. At one point, I thought I’d have to start paying admission.
4. SERVICES ARE TOO LONG AND INFLEXIBLE
Kenneth Davis, a 53-year old teacher, is a football fanatic. He loves to watch games from the kickoff until the finally seconds tick away; however, going to church usually spoils his plans. “By the time they’re done with announcements, hymns, and excruciatingly long sermons, it’s almost halftime,” Davis says. “I know that going to church is important, but I like some time on Sundays to relax and do what I like to do.”
Reverend John L. Hart, acknowledges that services are sometimes too long, but he attributes it to waning church attendance.
“It’s true that we sometimes have too many things going on during service, but the pulpit is challenged to get in as much as possible because Sunday is the only day we see most the men we do have,” he said.
5. THEY HAVE LOST FAITH IN GOD OR DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD
Men who grew up with a firm religious foundation have an easier time coping with adversity, but a test of faith sometimes can be enough to send even the most faithful servant fleeing from the fold.
Dwayne Monroe, for example, was a model Christian. As a teenager, Monroe never missed a chance to worship the Lord. He attended Sunday school, Bible study, and was the pioneer of his church’s youth ministry. But his faith was tested when his father grew ill with prostate cancer. Monroe, whose mother died in a car accident, prayed daily for the Lord to heal his father, but to no avail. The elder Monroe died when his son was seventeen leaving the frightened child parentless.
Feeling the Lord had forsaken him, Monroe cut all ties with his church and has not been back since. “I was always so faithful,” says the 26-year-old sales clerk. “But God took both of my parents from me and left me all alone. How could a God I’d been so faithful to leave me all alone?”
But he is only one of a swelling rank of men who refuse to accept the concept of an Almighty God. “I have never seen any physical evidence of God’s existence,” said James Turner, a 37 year-old engineer. “We’re taught to be logical in all aspects of our lives, but when it comes to religion, we are supposed to throw our logic out of the window and rely solely on faith. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that. Besides, if there were really a God, do you think the world would be so screwed up?”
Reverend Clarence James, lecturer and author of a series chronicling African-American history, culture, and involvement in the Christian church, understands their dilemma.
“Given the state of America, I can empathize with the men who refuse to believe that God would allow this country to become such a rancid place. But things can only get worse if our men stop believing and lose faith,” James said. “All I can do is ask non-believers to come to church one Sunday. Hopefully, we will say something or they will see something that will convince them that God is alive and working in their lives.”
6. THE CHURCH IS HYPOCRITICAL
Immoral behavior such as sexual misconduct and embezzlement by ministers and church leaders were cited as reasons why men avoid the church.
“I was appalled by all the backbiting and pettiness at my former church,” says Eric Townshend, a 22 year-old student. “Those people were supposed to be Christians, but they sure didn’t act like Christians. I feel that I exhibit the tenets of Christianity outside of church much better than many of those people who attend church religiously.”
While Hart acknowledges the hypocrisy in the church, he believes that it should not deter men from attending.
“There are many untrue images in the church, but people must realize that their commitment should be to Christ rather than the people who comprise the church. People often believe that Christians are supposed to be perfect when in fact, we aren’t,” Hart said.
7. INSENSITIVE PULPIT
Several of the men interviewed for this piece agreed that the church is unsympathetic to their plights. Since many men attend church to mend their battered egos, they get upset when the minister adds insult to injury by attacking them in his sermon.
“I admit that men are victims of an insensitive pulpit,” Hart said. “Historically, we (ministers) have spewed unintended condemnations toward men. Now they are rebelling against the church by not showing up.”
Whereas, it is difficult to rebel against employers or other authority figures in their lives without negative consequences, insurgence against the church is easier because the consequences are not so immediate.
“By not attending church, men feel powerful and in control because they are finally able to challenge authority and get away with it,” James says. “All any man wants to hear is that he is doing a good job. The church needs to be more sensitive to that fact.”
Have you seen a decline in male church attendance? What are other reasons why they refuse to attend worship services?
Mocha Dad is Frederick J. Goodall, author, blogger, and photographer. He writes the blogs Mocha Dad and Making It Last Forever and recently published the e-Book, Mocha Wisdom: Humorous Quotes and Observations from Mocha Dad. But his greatest joy comes from spending time with his beautiful wife and children.
Roger Madison says
Here is one more:
Some men refuse to submit to the authority of other men (or the Bible).
They don’t accept that the leaders of the church are acting on the authority of God, and therefore they feel no obligation to submit to these men. They will offer all manner of examples of the ways in which the Bible has been misused, and therefore don’t accept Biblical authority. Their position is that the Bible is written by, and used for the purposes of those who want to manipulate others to accept their beliefs. In the cases that I am familiar with, these men have never read the Bible. They have read random passages, and conclude that the Bible is inconsistent and manipulative.
mochazina says
The biggest thing is that “church folk” often have a incomplete and misconstrued understanding of the purpose of church and therefore you end up with church folk doing all 5 of those things (3-7 listed above) that men deem crazy! As a woman, I also find them ludicrous.
3. Teach the truth about giving (as them Jones folk say: He wants it all), and you won’t have to collect more than once – people will begin to live a lifestyle of generosity that will reflect in their financial giving.
4. Do what you came to do (no extraneous fluff) & respect folks time (start on time, end on time) & you will have people happy to contribute their presence.
5. Stop teaching that God is the Heavenly ATM/Superman/Sugar Daddy, and folks wouldn’t lose faith so easily when tough times come. Teach the truth – that God simply loves them and wants a relationship with them.
6. Live what you {t/pr}each and folk will be willing to come hear you say more.
7. BE PRAYERFUL and address the needs of the people and folk won’t be offended by your insensitivity.
More than likely, after addressing these, #1 will fade. Ya never know with #2… 🙂
Erica Day says
Excuses, excuses.
Lamar Tyler says
Great points Mochazina
EPayne says
I am inclined to agree. I was at a Bible study yesterday and one of the things that came out of the talk is that when you don’t have a personal relationship with God, everything can be easily dismissed, rationalized, attributed to nature, science, inconsistencies, etc.
I think that once you get into the right relationship it’s not that you excuse the excuses, but they don’t dissuade you from seeking out what you need as far as the Word and fellowship.
rashida says
I agree. I understand we are not suppose to judge, but are we just suppose to let people love continue to be lost and blind?
Just Me says
#7… didn’t think about that. good stuff.
I’ll say that church is fueled with emotionalism… and men aren’t swayed that easily, but women are. I want stuff to make sense to me. In the DMV though, there are large male populations in different churches although I dont know any that out number the women. Takes men to get men in…
Thanks for sharing
Just Me says
ddd
Just Me says
since when is #1.. the example we see growing up, an excuse?
But whether we call it excuses, reasons, bad reasons, or whatever… what do you… WE do about it?
Men dont usually call these points excuses b/c they know how men operate.. and it’s not so much swayed by the same emotion tugging as women. And WTF is a ‘personal relationship with God’.. and what’s a nonpersonal one? It’s like the Emporer’s New Groove and no one saying they dont understand these things… we just operate b/c that’s how its been.
With all the freaks and late 20 something .. early 30 something women in the church ready to cook for a brother and trap him into marriage… its better for a large amount to stay away anyway.
But bringing it back…what can we do? I’m all for addressing the ‘excuses’ listed above.
William says
I thank God for a dad that lived out a life committed to Christ first and then His wife, 6 kids, and others. I think that a lot of men in the local church do not have a relationship with Jesus and have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside them.
Most of the local churches are made up of members not disciples. A member comes to church on a consistent basis and: tips God with their time, talent, and treasure. A member lives life in the flesh because they do not have a spiritual walk (they have never been converted, they have not accepted the atoning gift of Christ by faith alone, by grace alone, through Christ alone). A disciple is one who has accepted the atoning gift of Christ and has the Holy Spirit living inside them to help them live this Christian life. A disciple understands that their life no longer belongs to them (they were brought with a price, that price was the finished work on the cross by Christ), their complete life is to make other disciples of Christ and live out a life that shows the compassion and truth of Christ.
Most of our churches in the black community should be closed!!! Most are not Biblical churches; they are social, political, clubs, and somewhere to go on Sunday s. The purpose of the New Testament church is to equip the disciples of Christ so they can go out to make other disciples of Christ. The disciples in the local church are to live out a life that is committed to Christ 24/7 and while in the course of their everyday lives they have the chance to have compassion and share the truth of scripture with others that are in their sphere of influence.
Godly male leadership should not mean women and girls are treated like second class citizens. Godly male leadership means that everyone is covered spiritually and physically. As a male disciple of Christ wherever I am there is protection, spiritual covering, and compassion for all that are in my care. My prayer is that the members become disciples, and that the disciples would make other disciples of Christ.
I pray that the men in our community would accept the atoning work of Christ and become His disciples. I pray that all men in the black community would be responsible for their own actions and would stand in the gap for those who do not have the protection and covering of a real man. Males help make babies, but men raise children!!!
Peace and Love family!!!!!
Otha Melton says
Well said, William.
Alphonso Hendrickson says
The Bible is a book of rewritten myths of ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, etc. that ancient Rome and the Vatican spread to control people. If it (or any religious books) was “God’s Word”, it wouldn’t be the source of so much confusion in the world today. It’s time to take a scientific look at how to ensure a sustainable future for all life on planet Earth (thevenusproject.com), and discard everything that’s destroying us (the monetary economy/system, politics, religion, outdated cultures).
TCB says
Sorry you feel the way. You are most certainly free too. God has given all free will to choose as he or she pleases. God is still God!
rashida says
amen
rashida says
and Sin, is the issue of the world not people and not God. I truly love God and follow Jesus to the end of time.
1cynt1965 says
It makes no sense to be born on the face of this earth and then go through life’s ups and downs and die with no hope. All I know is i was hopeless until i gave my life to Christ and read the bible.
Antoinette says
Completely agree with Alphonso here. As African-Americans, I’m amazed at how many of us still are dependent on the church. I grew up in the church, was extremely religious, then actually started reading the bible for myself. Then I did more and more research. I finally stopped ignoring all those thoughts I’d had since I was a child and realized, all religions are man-made. We just choose to ignore them.
Anonymous says
Come on!!! You like to watch football and take time for you!?!? Who doesn’t want time for themselves? Personally, I would LOVVVVE to rest on Sunday mornings because Mon-Fri I’m up early getting myself and the 3yr old out the door. On Sat. even at 3, the boy has activities, so it’s up and out again. So sure on Sunday I would love to relax, but guess what PRIORITIES! My God comes first, so I’m out again first thing Sunday. Not only that, but when I get back the boy’s father is still asleep not even having the common courtsey to take something out to cook! So I gotta do that too. What if I said preparing sunday dinner takes too long…I need me time? Really? If a church isn’t working for you change it, and by all means keep changing it until you find one that works. The church your mom grew up in is not the only one out there. Stop making excuses black men. Be more than what this world has you pegged to be.
Anonymous says
Love it’s!
Just Me says
Trying2Makeit… compelling. You’re under the assumption that we all feel that we NEED to go to church.. or be in church.
Putting God first = Sunday morning church?
Just Me says
William.. good words. The fallacy in your statement (as I see it) is that after all of the motivation you just brought and the prayers of betterment.. I’ll leave not knowing WTH to do.
Ok, Raheem needs to step up. We got it.
Where does he place is foot?
And not so much asking YOU that.. but pointing out.. there is a large population.. folks I deal with everyday who aren’t swayed by color words and dont need that form of encouragement. They live real lives and have learned a long time ago that hope doesn’t feed mouths nor pay bills… it just allows you to rest a bit easier.
Anonymous says
Actually to know me is to see the God in me without my even opening my mouth. Sunday morning church is just one way I choose to put him first. Actually, I have more respect for anyone who lives a God filled life and doesn’t go to church than some of us who are in the church daily and well you know…… But I made my comment in response to the article. With that being said, if you choose not to go to church FINE…..just don’t go around blaming the length of the service, the content of the material, or those before you who went or not! It seems as though deep down those interviewed found the need to justify why they didn’t go. How many said I just don’t feel like it most of the time. How many said, I praise my God through my daily life, why must I do it Sunday morning? Those statements to me say more because it’s as if the person has nothing to justify. Their life is right, and they spend time with their God in their way and that can be anywhere. How many said that?
Corkyd53 says
I thank God for a Father that taught me how to have a love relationship with God. When you have a love relationship with someone you enjoy visiting their home and spending time with them
Corkyd53 says
I thank God for a Father that taught me how to have a love relationship with God. When you have a love relationship with someone you enjoy visiting their home and spending time with them
Corkyd53 says
I thank God for a Father that taught me how to have a love relationship with God. When you have a love relationship with someone you enjoy visiting their home and spending time with them
Kshan Poitier says
Stop with the irrelevant psyho blabber!!
Tiya says
Great topic. I remember attending church alone without my spouse for a little while. I never pushed him to go, I would just share what I walked away with. Then all of sudden he attended one service, then another, started to develop a friendship with the Pastor and now he does not miss a Sunday. I love it. My husband had to go when he felt comfortable and had that desire to want more of GOD. We do have to develop our own relationship with GOD, and it’s important that we don’t look to man but look to GOD. Man will fail you, but GOD is always constant. So no more excuses, look for a place where you are being taught the WORD but still given that encouragement and space to form your own relationship with GOD.
Nubian Queen says
If you don’t have a personal relationship with God, you will use all the reasons above not to attend. And yes there are” members” who go to church out of routine, ritual and tradition and the Word says have a “form” of Godliness. They are not our example. God is looking for a church (which is in you) of true believers whose lives have been changed (through the holy spirit) and who truly want to be there. Of course we need same kind of men and women in the pulpit. God holds his leaders to a higher standard. As for the believers, you can live the life God instructed us to in the Word. If it were not possible, he would not have told us what was expected and equipped us for warfare. God is not about excuses, and that we are not perfect. Men, I suggest reading Myles Munroe’s books on men. Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men. And the Purpose and Power of Fathers. It will open your eyes to how very important men are to their families and how devastating the future will be if men don’t become the men God intended them to be, the FOUNDATION upon which mankind is built. Just check the prison rolls to find out how important fathers are. We NEED our men beside us.
Teacherlnb says
It sounds like a bunch of excuses for just not wanting to go to church. There is no place on earth, full of perfect people. One preacher put it this way.If there were a perfect church, as soon as you joined it would no longer be perfect.” Men need to support their spouses, no matter what, and model for their children what a “real” family is like with everyone attending service. I just feel adults need to quite making excuses. Call it what is is. If you don’t want to go, just say that.
Bryan says
So a “real” family has to go to church. That’s a pretty narrow minded view. Just another poignant example of the narrow-mindedness and judgmental attitudes you get from church folk.
Andrea says
ok..we have battered the men…how about the women who don’t go and consequently the children who don’t attend…my church is perfect for us…and still we don’t attend as we should.
My point is this…we all need to check our behaviour and our comittment to Christ.
Andrea
CATLYST44 says
AFTER NUMEROUS ATTEMPTS TO LIVE WITHOUT GOD ON MY OWN WILL, AS A NOW DIVORCEE, I REALIZED THAT I WAS LIVING IN VAIN, PAIN, AND WITHOUT STRUCTURE. NOW, I CAN’T IMAGINE LIVING OR BREATHING WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT HE IS MY LIFE LINE, MY SOURCE AND MY HIGH TOWER, MY BATTLE AXE AND HIS PMANIFESTED ROMISES IS WHATS KEEPS MY FAITH STRONG AND HEART CONTINUOUSLY SEEKING HIS LOVE AND GOD’S DIVINE DESTINY AND PURPOSE IN MY LIFE.
RonChi21 says
But they don’t make excuses when it comes to a paycheck…….selah
Bryan says
I don’t mind church, I just get sick of church people. You ask them any question and the answer is something about being, blessed, sanctified, or praying for someone. I hate conversations with Bible thumpers. Every comment doesn’t have to be a praise to God or a long, boring testament to what God has done for you. I like church, I just can’t stand the people.
Anna says
I have not attened Church at all this year. My husband’s Church even moved into a new building recently and had a Church Picinic today. I did not attend. It’s like going to Church on Christmas, Mother’s Day or Easter, but not attending on the other Sunday’s of the calander. I would not have felt right showing up for the picinic.
Some women are so sure that if they attend Church that the spouse/mate who does not go is already “covered”, because she went. I watch Church on tv. I am guilty for not going to Church, but it’s hard for me to go because as a kid I was a JW. If my husband goes to Church does it “cover me”?
It's Just Me for 2Day says
The man to get men into the fold is the Son of Man, who is Jesus Christ, Son of the living God. The most powerful thing that I’ve ever done in my life was to realize that, as a man living in this corrupt world, I CAN’T LIVE MY LIFE APART FROM GOD AND BE THE MAN THAT I DESIRE TO BE.
For those who say that the Bible is a book of myths, fables, good stories, etc., if you’ve ever taken the time to read it through – completely – you will find that it is the Book of Life. There is nothing in the Word of God that has not, nor shall not, come to pass. Those who question God’s existence still marvel daily at the beauty of the heavenly host of the sun, moon, and stars that somehow appeared by a Big Bang. It’s by nothing but God’s abundant grace and mercy that we are allowed to posit such a questionable stance, yet we take for granted the very air that we breathe as we posit that stance.
The Ten Commandments were created for mankind to abide by, but there is something deeper within. If one is asked, “which is the greatest sin?”, most will answer, “Thou shalt not kill”. However, if you study the Bible to learn what God wants us to know, you will come to know that they are all the same. If you violate one, you’ve violated them all. Even more so, these commandments were designed to show us how we’re unable to keep even just ONE commandment out of ten (yes! the wisdom of the ominipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient God). We need Him, whether we think we do or not.
The personal relationship that all mankind needs to seek is the original relationship with God that was subverted and surrendered to the devil when Adam and Eve were deceived by the devil (and for those who believe that Satan the accuser doesn’t exist, then woe be to you, for he has felled you with his greatest deception! He is the god of this world, and this is why the world is in the condition that it is. God is merely allowing mankind to work itself out of the pit that he has placed himself into).
Men love to say, as I once had, that it was Eve’s mistake for being deceived by Satan. But if one studies, not just reads, the Word of God, they will come to know that Eve was deceived, but Adam was rebellious because he was instructed beforehand what not to do, yet he did it anyway and pointed his finger at his wife when held accountable by Almighty God.
Therefore, we men have the PRIMARY responsibility of making our way back to God because we were created FIRST. As was explained to me by one of my church elders: the devil has no issue with women filling the church because he doesn’t see them as so much the threat. It is the man who is the priest of his home, and where the man leads, the family will follow. True enough, a daughter of Zion wields godly power in her own right. When a man submits himself to God, as I have with no regret, he becomes a formidable man of God who has traded in his fallible fleshly power for godly power by way of the infilling of the Holy Ghost (or Holy Spirit for those who prefer). But when man and wife walk together as one while they walk towards Christ, WATCH OUT – they will give the slanderer a run for his money.
Lastly – for those who look left and right in the church and shake their heads in disgust at some of the behaviors of the congregants, the Word of God decrees that you be concerned with your own spiritual walk, as it’s not dependent upon the walk of others. As an aside: the behaviors of some of those people in church that we decry are the very reason why they’re in church in the first place. At the very least, even THEY admit that they’re sinners.
Think about it.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
To like the church and not be able to stand the people within is tantamount to disliking the people, who are the church of the body of Christ, and adoring the edifice that the body congregates within. You can’t claim to love God, whom you can’t see, and despise your brothers and sisters created in God’s image, whom you can see.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
You must establish your own relationship with God. Your spouse’s relationship with God will not cover your lack of relationship.
Phillipians 2:12 – Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
Amen! What some people don’t realize is that if they concern themselves with their own walk with God and live obedient unto Him, that in itself may lure their spouses into a curiosity about God. Why? Because when a person truly begins to walk with God, He will manifest Himself within that person and draw others unto Him.
I watched God manifest Himself in my wife and it was her transformation that drew me unto Him. I wanted Him to transform me because my own successive attempts were fraught with one failure after the other.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
God has placed his mantel of leadership in you, Bryan, you potential man 0f God (I say “potential” because it is you alone who decides whether you will or won’t be, and I pray that you will want to be). The man must lead his family to church because there has to be a communion amongst believers who all struggle with one common issue: the resistance against sin.
As the Word of God decrees, life without God is vanity.
Psalm 39:4-6
4LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am.
5Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.
6Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surely they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
Speaking as a man, men don’t need to support their spouses by walking with God if it’s not within their hearts to do so. God tries the reins of the heart and knows when people are truly seeking Him. A man’s responsibility is to seek his own relationship with God, whether his wife follows or not (and the same applies for a married woman). In practicality and in reality, some couples live on with one spouse being a believer and the other still pondering, or even being decidedly against faith, belief, obedience, and repentance. However, the Word of God defines such a couple as being “unequally yoked”. They have half the power that they would have if they both walked together as they served unto the living God.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
Oh yes! We believe in God, or say that we do, but question whether we need to go to the house of God to worship Him, to praise Him, to honor Him, and to glorify Him.
Mark 7:6 – He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
So beautiful, so true, so reminiscent of exactly what happened to me! Except that the one service that I decided to attend was a Bible study night when I announced to my wife that I wanted to get baptized. I found my relationship with God when I started reading and studying the Word of God DAILY, and praying to Him DAILY (and not just when I needed Him, for that was my conviction. I firmly believe that edification without conviction is merely inspiration).
Rule of thumb: pour your heart out to God and study His Word for every day that you breathe. Give him the firstfruits of your day, which is the first thing in the morning once you are cognizant that He has given you the grace to awaken to a new day that He has made.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
RE: justification for not going to church
So true! As one who formerly made excuses about not going to church, studying the Word of God allowed me to see myself in His mirror, and that’s where I saw my ugly, selfish person. We must wonder if God may decide, FOR ANY ONE OF US, to bypass any given morning’s breath of life because He “didn’t feel like it”. In addition, if God gives us six days with which to attend to our personal business, why would we hesitate to give Him a couple of hours on Sunday morning to attend to His business?
It's Just Me for 2Day says
Potential man of God: edify yourself with prayer and the Word of God. He has designed you in His image to be far greater than what you might consider yourself at present. When you truly put God first in your life, He will bless you in ways that you could never imagine (and I don’t necessarily mean with material things, but they’re not ruled out). He can transform you. He can save that alcoholic or addicted friend/relative of yours (and those terms are not meant to slander – they are just the reality of this world). When you discover the true living God, you will simply WANT to go to church – and I’m speaking from experience.
My brother, give Jesus a try (hint: God is not a man that He should lie, and He NEVER fails).
It's Just Me for 2Day says
The Word of God is not confusing, for it is mankind that is confused.
Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Mark 7:7-8
7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
A non-biblical answer (as I would prefer), but a true answer nonetheless: as President Obama has said, “we must be the change that we seek”. I never saw my father go to church. However, as I became freed from my sins on 10/21/09 at age 41 by repenting, being baptized in Jesus’ name and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, I want to present myself as the example to my sons and daughters. If there is to be any salvation within my home, it must begin with the priest of the house – the man.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
Tithing/giving is Biblical (see Malachi 3), and when we fail to tithe, we are robbing God of what belongs to Him. Even if the church leadership fails to do the right thing with the tithes, we are not to let that prevent us from doing what God dictates that we do. The church leadership will be accountable to God, and God knows that you have tithed to Him from your heart. You’ll truly miss out on God raining His blessings down from heaven because of your resistance to giving Him ten percent of what all belongs to Him anyway (hint: He is entitled to take ALL of what you have because you will not give Him ten percent, as He will see you giving more honor to your possessions than to Him).
As far as “folks time”, we are living on God’s time – ALL OF IT – so we must tithe of our time, which is His, as well as our finances, which also is His (see Psalm 24:1)
Almighty God is the end all, be all, from everlasting to everlasting, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the ending, the first and the last, the great I AM, the Rock, the Comforter, the Redeemer, the Prince of Peace, Wonderful, Counselor, the most High, the Rose of Sharon, the Spirit of truth, the everlasting Father, the One which was, which is, and which is to come! We don’t even know what we’ll have for dinner 8 days from now but we somehow manage to squeeze the infinite God, who supersedes time and space, who IS time and space, into a box.
Insensitivity? A psuedonym for CONVICTION or CHASTENING? Did God hurt someone’s feelings?? Mankind has been hurting His feelings from the time that Adam and Eve violated His precepts in the garden of Eden. If not for the sting of conviction by the Word of God, how else will a man be held accountable for his sins in order to desire to live by God’s standards?
We respected our mothers and fathers for punishing us out of love, so how much more should we honor the heavenly Father of mankind.
Hebrews 12:5-6
5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
So true! But men fail to see the snares, traps, and pitfalls laid out by Satan, who slanders mankind before God. When we fail to submit to authority (which assumes its power as allowed by God as the method of establishing order upon His earth), we liken ourselves to the devil and make ourselves children of his, as opposed to being sons of God. If the Word of God is truly studied for revelation, the student will come to know that the Bible is the manner in which God has chosen to speak to all of mankind.
2 Timothy 3:16 – All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness
Isaiah 14:12-15
12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
RE: “men aren’t swayed that easily, but women are”
Man to man, and with all honesty, I sometimes wonder if some men are jealous because God has captivated the attention, devotion, respect, and desire of their spouses…
Now here’s the rub: God be for us too!
And if God be for us, who can be against us?
Hallelujah!
mochazina says
Sir/Madam, it seems you have a lot to say about this topic (as noted by your commenting on almost every post on this thread).
I will not argue with you, because I am not in disagreement with your statements, but we do have differing views on how to express them. My post deals with the integrity of the leadership in being upstanding and thereby eliminating the negative examples that people cite as reasons to not attend church. Yes, I know that in the end, people must stand for themselves in the judgment; however, we as the church will be held to a higher standard because we know what’s right. We cannot hide behind “humanity” and claim that they shouldn’t look at us, but look to Christ, when we knowingly and intentionally go against God’s Word. This issue, as with many in the Church, START with the leadership, and we cannot just throw blame and guilt on the people.
It's Just Me for 2Day says
All true, mochazina (btw – I am a “Sir” 🙂 – my point is that the shepherds are held accountable not only by God, but by the sheep as well. The sheep have the authority to place the mantel of leadership over another shepherd. If the leadership has failed to lead, don’t follow them.
The example was given by the apostle Paul…
1 Corinthians 11:1 – Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ
It's Just Me for 2Day says
And yes! this IS a VERY hot topic with me because black men like myself are scarce within the house of God. The man must acquire his priesthood and kingship from God, because all else is in vain (look at the prisons and rehab centers, as someone had previously noted).
Wife says
I have been blessed that for most of my life I have seen the important men in my life not only going to church but taking an active part in it. My husband is one who will not attend church. He did at one point but stopped because of several events that occured. Fortunately he does still read the Bible and have a relationship with God. I think we all have to be more careful in how we live our lives not only in front of our husbands, but our sons and grandsons as well.
Our job is to stay in prayer and not critizize them. I make a point of inviting him to events I think he will enjoy.
Reggie Williams says
Don’t want to reiterate what’s been said so I’m going to move in a different direction.
There are more women in church than men because women are looking in churches for what they can’t find at home – which is a pastor. As a husband, God has given man the authority to pastor to his family. This is a task that should not be left up to Rev. So and So or Dr. Whatyamacallhim. Unfortunately too many brothers leave the pastoring to their wife and children to another man and then have the nerve to complain about what he is teaching them. If you are truly concerned about what the pastor is teaching, you will be in church to monitor that what is being taught so that you can protect your family. But you can only monitor him when you have developed a personal relationship with God’s initimate word. Then and only then can you lead your wife and children properly according to His word.
If a pastor is in a church running amok he is doing so because there aren’t any strong men in that church, who are intimate with God’s word; men in the church who are disciple’s of God’s word. See the church ain’t a building, a bunch or traditions or even the pastor; the church according to Matthew 16:18 is the profession that the rock upon which the church is built on is that “Jesus is Christ and the Son of the living God.” What this means is as a man you follow God and His word. How do you know that you are following His word if you are not studying His word. I attend church, tithe my time, talent and treasures and love the teachings of my pastor, but at my house I serve as the pastor because I study God’s word. I do not rely on man.
Allow me to preference this statement: I work extensively with men; men in churches, institutions of higher learning and prison institutions (I worked with murderes) – so I maintain an intimate relationship with men at large. With this said it pisses me off with some of the bullshit that I hear spewed by brothers.
If you don’t want to do church be a man and say I don’t do church. Cool, that’s keepin it real. I understand some of the nonsense that goes on in God’s house. But the B.S. you spew is ridic. See, if you go to a restaruant and the service is bad and the food is bad and you feel like you got ripped off you don’t stop eating; you just no longer spend your money at that establishment. You then find another place to eat where you will get good service and excellent food or at the very least, you go home and get a home cooked meal that you trust.
Well go home and get filled on His nourishing word. When you do, you’ll know when a pastor is out of order and because you are in order your wife will be right by your side.
It also pisses me off that brothers attempt to walk with swag and speak with such a high level of intellect only to sway when they are needed to step up and make change for the better in churches, in communities – help in their homes.
Dudes it time to STEP UP (72% of African-American children aare born out-of-wedlock living primarily with single mothers; and sisters your behavior isn’t excused in this situation b/c you are truly apart of this problem. Additionally, our communities are going to hell because our presences is absent. We ain’t just missing from church, we are MIA in a whole lot of places where we are needed.
How about ceasing the B.S. It’s so much better to be the KING that we were made to be. “Let us make man in OUR image, in OUR likeness, and let them rule . . . “
Uncontainable Spirit says
Soooooo…. basically men are wrong yet again. lol. Men give their reasons for not being ‘religious’ which are valid to them and are told that those reason are in fact NOT valid and more than being invalid are merely the excuses of the immature. So a movement that was started by a man who was followed by 12 other men over a millennia ago simply cannot be criticized by yet more men and have their criticisms be at least given a look as being valid. Incredible.
Rwilliams says
Reasons describing what’s wrong in church are valid. If a MAN see something wrong and feels no consumption to challenge that wrong, is a male who makes excuses. I’m positive that there are probably a number of things wrong at your job, but in most situations you ain’t quitting.
Rwilliams says
Reasons describing what’s wrong in church are valid. If a MAN see something wrong and feels no consumption to challenge that wrong, is a male who makes excuses. I’m positive that there are probably a number of things wrong at your job, but in most situations you ain’t quitting.
Uncontainable Spirit says
You say…*If a MAN see something wrong and feels no consumption to challenge that wrong, is a male who makes excuses.*
e.g.
If a church goer sees something wrong in the strip club yet feels no compunction to challenge that wrong i.e., go INTO the club, that church goer is not a Christian but a hypocrite…
If a church goer sees something wrong in the whore house yet feels no compunction to challenge that wrong i.e., go INTO the whore house, that church goer is not a Christian but a hypocrite…
See the logical fallacy yet?
Uncontainable Spirit says
Soooooo…. basically men are wrong yet again. lol. Men give their reasons for not being ‘religious’ which are valid to them and are told that those reason are in fact NOT valid and more than being invalid are merely the excuses of the immature. So a movement that was started by a man who was followed by 12 other men over a millennia ago simply cannot be criticized by yet more men and have their criticisms be at least given a look as being valid. Incredible.
Deacon Rice says
All of the posts here are valid to the one that is posting. How people feel – is how they feel. We “mature Christians” have to be careful how we come off to “new Christians” or “potential Christians” that are on the fence. The Holy Spirit in us (mature Christians) has led us to a Christian lifestyle and has given us revelation into the word of God. We now see differently.We understand giving (tithing), giving God His time and the daily strengthening of our relationship with HIM. But – we had to first walk through the church doors (and we all made that trip for different reasons). We secondly found some compelling reason the stay there and learn. The environment, people and leadership were either reasons we stayed or left to find another church (when we were new Christians). We haven’t always quoted scriptures to explain every reason why we should be connected to the Body of Christ. We know the reasons – NOW! There are many reasons men don’t attend church. We can argue if they are EXCUSES or not. So… lets start with what we DO agree on – the attendance of men in church is not where it should be (and it’s declining). Creating a inviting atmosphere in which a man can be in his own skin and see what they consider as real masculine men growing in Christ and loving it is critical. Understanding how men think is step #1 of creating that atmosphere. We have to reel them in first THEN teach them. You cant scale a fish until you get him on the the boat! That’s where our discussion should be. Why not exhaust all resources and methods to get them back! All other discussions are just glorifying the problem! We are starting a men’s ministry to address this problem.