By a show of hands, how many of are experiencing some boredom within your marriage right now? Ok, don’t fret, this one is for you! Keep reading.

It’s unrealistic to believe there won’t ever be down times in your marriage. It happens to the best of us. There are moments where it appears as though nothing new or exciting is happening. It is usually the moment we start to evaluate our lives by asking ” is this all there is” and “am I really where I should be right now”? It may begin with those thoughts but it usually plays out in our actions.

Here’s how boredom shows up:

When you find you and your spouse are barely speaking to one another is a sure sign. Or you don’t even really notice each other. Compliments from your spouse are becoming too infrequent. Date nights are sporadic or only after others invite you out. It seems as though neither of you are really putting forth any effort. Or when it’s just the same routine day in and day out. And once you have stopped even caring that your marriage is just mediocre.

Now here’s what we can do about it:

1. It’s easy to say just date again, but not so easy to always do. Making time for one another has to be priority number 1. We must remember a date can be as simple, creative or low costing as we want it to be. They can include mini getaways to a nearby hotel, or sending the children on a mini getaway to the grand’s. The most important thing is that we spend some quality alone time together.

2. We must communicate. Couples have to continue to stimulate each other through communication. Talking to one another daily is critical. And not just surface talk. Discuss your goals and dreams. Share the role your spouse plays in those plans. Then strategize together on how to make them a reality.

3. Sometimes even the best intentions don’t quite materialize into the greatest actions. We occasionally need a little guidance in getting our marriage back on track. It helps to listen to what worked for other couples. Couples who attend a couples retreat typically feel refreshed and renewed and leave with new healthy action plans.

4. We don’t always have all the answers, so there comes a time we have to learn something new about love. Using the resources provided like BMWK, relationship books, magazines, the amazing documentaries produced by Ronnie and Lamar, like Still Standing, reminds us that we too can overcome our challenges.

5. Look for ways to improve. Each spouse must focus on themselves and their own areas of improvement. When we take ownership of our behaviors and make the needed alterations, transformation is guaranteed to occur.

We don’t have to settle and our marriages don’t have to suffer. Admitting your current relationship struggle might be boredom and taking immediate action is a healthy start. Remember, you are not alone. There are many couples who have faced this trial and have come out on top. So can you.

BMWK — Have you experienced boredom in your marriage? If so, how did you handle it?