I have been so moved by the comments on a recent article titled “I Am Married to a Cheater”. I knew the title alone would generate an interesting conversation. But I never expected the level of honesty and support it would create. Wives who had been through similar situations openly shared how they were able to overcome their marriage challenges. There was prayer, resources offered and the exchanging of email addresses.
The highlight for me was witnessing the healing that seemed to be taking place. I was also inspired and encouraged. It was refreshing to see women confide in other women they didn’t even know. The interactions felt very much like a sisterhood and the experience was beautiful. It reminded me of just how much we need each other. I was so motivated I had to create this letter to wives. It is my prayer that it reminds you of just how amazing you are and that you are not alone.
Dear Wives,
Our role can sometimes be challenging. Marriage requires the majority of our attention. We have to continuously make our husbands a priority and in some of our marriages that action isn’t always reciprocated. This, naturally, leads to frustration and our feeling unloved and unworthy. It leaves us occasionally questioning our lives, our choices and our future. I know there are times we feel alone and as though we are the only ones experiencing what we’re going through. You are not alone. Whatever you may be experiencing in your marriage right now, there is a wife who has either been there or who is currently experiencing the same. We all have stressful periods. There are things that happen outside of our control that hurt us and affect our marriage. Infidelity, financial struggles and health challenges may be wreaking havoc in your relationship, again you’re not alone. Each of us has a story to tell and it’s clear we need each other more than ever. With that being said, I hope each of you remembers the following:
- Trust God and pray for your marriage, your husband and yourself.
- You are stronger than you ever thought you were.
- Your husband chose you as his wife for a reason, so fight for your marriage.
- Stop carrying around shame and disappointment from past mistakes.
- Heal yourself so you can heal your marriage.
- There is power in forgiveness.
- You deserve a healthy and happy marriage too.
- Be encouraged and encourage another wife in your circle.
- Marriage is a blessing.
I will continue to pray for our marriages and families. Healthy marriages are the foundation of our communities. The more we support one another the stronger we will become.
Sincerely,
A Wife
Tracy says
thanks for sharing, this information is so encouraging. I been going through this for several months and i am so ashame that this happened to me. at one point I thought I was the only one experiencing this. Because I made a decision to stay my family decided to have nothing to do with me.
Rene says
WOW ! I am heartbroken. Your family witnessed the vows also: for better or for worse. May God bless you and strengthen you and your husband. How are things? Was there positive discussion? I “cheated” and my husband forgave me. Our marriage was strengthened by open conversation and most importantly – forgiveness.
Last Time says
I found out last yr that not only did my husband cheat, he is HIV+ and never told me after 3 yrs of marriage. I didn’t deserve either betrayal. The love, trust, respect and friendship is gone and it’s time for me to take my blessing ( negative tests) and move on!
bridget la'ah says
I really needed,so consoling,inspiring and motivating. Keep up the good work. God bless
Deborah says
I went through this same situation, not,once but twice. After 10 years of marriage my husband cheated on me and as a result of the situation a child was born out of wedlock. I forgave him, helped to raise his child and he still 17 years later did the same thing again. At that point I could not take anymore and decided to put him out. Since then we have divorced and he has married the person he was cheating on me with. For a long time, I was so hurt and devastated. But with the love and support of my family and friends I have learn to love God first and myself above all else and to believe and know that I deserve better.
Anonymous says
Thank you ladies sooooooo much, I felt the love and compassion from all. May God continue to bless and keep you!!!! I am humbled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE KEEP ME AND MY HUSBAND JASON IN YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!
HeartBrkn says
I have been attempting to “stand in the gap” for marriage restoration for the past 3 years after my husband walked out on me and our three small children, two of which have autism. He began an affair with a coworker, and refuses to provide even the basics for our children. We have been married for close to 20 years, and I am utterly devestated! We had problems early in our marriage because he has a problem with honesty. as a result, I chose to wait years to have children, hoping that we could resolve those issues, and because I didn’t want to end up a single parent, which is where I ended up anyway. Some days I feel so weak, and other days, I feel empowered. We as women, and especially as wives definitely do need each other. We need to lift one another up and offer counsel where we are able to do so. I will be praying for every single one of you, and I ask the same in return. May God bless each of you, and your families…
malta nelson says
Marriage is hard and its devastating when you put so much time and effort in your marriage and to discover that your spouse is cheating .My heart goes out to all of the hurting women especially when a child of out wedlock is the result of an affair that has to cut deep in a women heart.I pray for peace and restoration to all the women fighting for the marriages and for the ones that have to let go.May God restore your lives and give you beauty for ashes.