I appreciate, when we as women, are able to connect and just have real heart to heart conversations that strengthen us and further develop our bond of sisterhood. It doesn’t seem to happen as often as it should.
I believe we can absolutely learn from one another. There is so much wisdom and so many life experiences we can offer, if we were willing to share more often.
Well, I wanted to do just that. I wanted to talk love and marriage with those who have a desire for those things. I recognize there is a ton of marriage advice and resources at a single woman’s fingertips.
But I wanted to share what I’ve learned about marriage and becoming a wife. It was a journey and sometimes the road to self-discovery and wife-hood wasn’t always easy. Here are a few love lessons I needed to share:
Good things can happen while you’re single
Good things can happen while you’re single; embrace it. When you’re single is the best time ever to contemplate on the type of wife you desire to be. I recommend you start with knowing and loving yourself first.
This will better equip you for teaching a future spouse how to love you. Enjoy this time of singleness and look for the lesson in your being single right now. There’s always one.
Determine the overall goal you have for your marriage
The next step is to determine the overall goal you have for your marriage. Once you’ve created your marriage goal, whether you’ve found Mr. Right or not, you’ll begin to realize the actions you’ll have to take to arrive there.
Do you desire a drama-free relationship? If so, you have to be intentional about keeping the things that create drama away from your home. Things like lies, jealousy, an untamed tongue, and selfishness will bring it every time.
Don’t be so set in your ways that you aren’t open to change
Don’t be so set in your ways that you aren’t open to change, especially when the change makes you a better person. Everyone has an area needing improvement. Don’t ignore yours. It will only hurt your future marriage in the end.
You don’t have to prove you’re smarter, faster, right more often, or better
You don’t have to prove you’re smarter, faster, right more often, or better in any area. Marriage is a partnership both partners contribute to, equally. Your future husband will be your helpmate, partner in crime, ride or die, so there’s no space for a competition type of mindset. Think unity as you prepare to become a wife.
Love your independence, but let your spouse love on you some too
Love your independence, but let your spouse love on you some too. By the time you decide on marriage, you’ll know your future spouse. What makes him tick, how he communicates and what he prides himself on.
He may enjoy providing for you or protecting you. Don’t strip him of being able to show you love in this way. Need him every once in awhile. Even when you feel you don’t.
Don’t be too fly or so in control
Don’t be too fly or so in control, thinking you have all the answers that God isn’t first in your future marriage. God designed marriage. He is our greatest teacher when it comes to marriage. Don’t think it can be done successfully without Him.
Remember that your journey is your own
Remember that your journey is your own. Don’t compare your life or your future marriage to anyone else’s. Appreciate your uniqueness and create a marriage that supports it. Make your relationship your own. You and your spouse should always make the final decision on what’s best for your relationship. You’ll always know what’s best for the both of you.
Marriage, love, womanhood, and sisterhood aren’t always conversations we have as women. I hope to change that. We all need support and encouragement. Everyone can be the teacher and the student at some point. It is my hope that these lessons will speak to those needing it most.
BMWK, married women what advice would you give our single sisters who desire marriage someday?