Have you ever talked to a person that says their marriage is important to them, but their actions show otherwise? Or how about a person that complains about their marriage but never does anything to change it.
I loved this tweet from @DivoreBusting (Michele Weiner-Davis):
The very same people who bemoan the loss of romance or intensity in their marriages do little to rekindle the spark.
A few Sundays ago, the pastor asked a very good question: “Are you living your life for what really matters?” Then he gave us four indicators that could help us to determine what we are fighting for…..or what really matters. I thought they could be used to determine if our marriages really matter…are we really fighting for our marriage?
- Time – how are you spending your time? Granted most people are spending a lot of their time at work. But outside of work, is your time being spent on your spouse/marriage/family…or are you spending most of your time doing something else?
- Money – What are you spending your money on? Would you be willing to invest in your marriage? Sure counseling and/or marriage education can cost some money…possibly a couple hundred bucks or more. But what about that concert or game you found the cash for? You paid for the tickets, purchased outfits, paid for a sitter, had dinner before the concert, paid for parking. You had a good time and probably spent a couple hundred bucks when it was all said and done. My point is…. you can find the money for the things that you want to do. With some sacrifice, you can also find the money to invest in your marriage. It will be the best investment you will ever make.
- Energy – what are you wearing yourself out doing? What’s taking most of your energy? This question can be answered in so many ways. It’s quite possible that you are wearing yourself out with your family and not giving yourself enough me time or relaxation time. Or it’s quite possible that you are wearing yourself out with work or a hobby. Either way, it is important to find a healthy balance in your life.
- Conversation – what are you spending your time talking about…and who are you talking to? Perhaps you are spending all of your time complaining about your marriage. If that’s the case, then it is time to change the conversation. Perhaps it’s time to start talking to someone that can help you see the positives in your marriage or help you make positive changes.
If you want to know what is important to a person, find out how he/she is spending their time, money and energy. And find out what they are talking about. Honestly answering the questions above could give you a good indication of what’s really important in your life and what changes need to be made.
BMWK Family – Are you living your life for what really matters? Can you give us more indicators to help us determine what really matters? Would you be willing to spend more time, energy, and money on your marriage to make positive changes?