Many of us who are single are quick to state that we are “not looking” or we are “happy” as singles. Is that really 100% true? Or are we sharing the strong, politically correct answer for all to hear?
I currently lead my church’s singles ministry. As I lead, I have made it my mantra to share with our singles how we can live productive, active lives and make progress in all the areas that may be challenging for us. I believe in packing a lot of living into our days, because there is no guarantee what the next day will hold. I feel that living full, purposeful days will help us to become more satisfied with our status. As we work on our health, finances, personal/spiritual growth or fulfilling our dreams, we grow and become more of the type of person we can be satisfied with.
Singles may rejoice in not having to report to someone else about their whereabouts, or having to seek consensus on what they want to do or how they want to spend their time. Yet, conversely having no-one close with whom they can share their hearts, minds and desires sometimes makes being single a difficult situation.
Satisfaction in general comes from being content with where you are in life. The main question to ask yourself to know if you are single and satisfied is this: “Do I love who I have become?” If nothing else would change, could you accept who and where you are today? Reflect on your answer, and if the answer is no, spend time taking care of the areas that make you feel dissatisfied.
If you want to marry someday, be willing to compromise and be flexible. If you are a lady, be willing to make your husband-to-be feel like he has a place in your life. Being overly independent as ladies typically leaves men wondering if you are available or if you have created space for them to become a part of your daily life. If you are a man, allow your lady to speak into your life and purpose. Sometimes women see far and beyond, and can help their men navigate the complex waters of life.
As you enjoy your satisfaction in singleness, remember to balance it out. If you plan to marry someday, become approachable and learn how to become interdependent – where you are able to make space for the love you want to have in your life.
No I am not satisified with being single. Nor am I satisified with my dating life. I struggle with answering all the questions and about this creating space for him in your life, ummmmm…. I am so guilty of not creating that time. I have met plenty of men of whom I would love to get to know more but as a full time student it is difficult when he works full time. When he gets off I am going into study sessions and work on the weekend. And this does not include time in the lab assisting with research projects. While this is applicable to dating, it affects my social life as well. Right now, sleep often gets the upper hand during my spare time. I know that I have so much to give a man but I want to be in a position to be fully engaged in the realtionship.
Hi! Maybe now isn’t the time for a relationship. As you study, give that your full attention. Believe me, when school is over, there will be plenty of time for the right man!
I can honestly say that I love who I have become, as I have grown deeper in my walk with the Lord, realizing that His timing is perfect. I knew that I had made a major change when I stopped attending single events. Also, I am more “cautious” about giving out my number.
🙂 Interesting commentary. Thank you for responding!
Great article! Honestly, I’m satisfied with my singleness. I’m doing everything now in my 40’s that I should have done in my 20’s (college, buying a home, get married, had kids-still none),so it’s a new experience for me to not be in a relationship or have to commit myself and time to someone else. I have free time to work on me and do the things I want to do, when I want to do it, and complete goals I’ve set for myself. Yeah, I’m Happy-Lol 🙂
Awesome! Enjoy it!
Thanks for writing such a great article. For several years I felt incomplete if I’m not in a relationship or involve with someone due to low self esteem or lack of love . Therefore, I made poor choices by dating unavailable men- and to this day, I am paying for the consequences of my actions. In 2011, I made the best decision ever to step away from a relationship that almost drained my soul and spirit.I have been single for 3 years and loving every minute of it because God is preparing me for the next level. Today, I thank God for my life and children. Above all, learning to love me.( Mind, Body, Soul and Spirit)