Years ago, I went to a parenting conference. During one of the sessions, I remember a speaker sharing a personal story that ended with a major lesson she learned. She admitted that she was so focused on who her daughter wasn’t that she was missing out on embracing who her daughter was. That remark has stayed with me for years. It made me realize that despite our best … [Read more...]
Don’t Play with Petty: 3 Ways You Can Go High When He Goes Low
A dear friend of mine has been dealing with some unwanted drama in her life. We talk about it a lot. I offer advice when she wants it. When she doesn’t, I try my best to bite my tongue and give her a shoulder to lean on. It’s what I would want any friend to do for me. Recently, the drama has been causing her a lot of stress and anger. I get it because just listening to some … [Read more...]
Why You Need To Stop Feeling Guilty About What Your Child’s Father Isn’t Doing
My mom is 73 years old. Even at that age, she still expresses guilt about certain things that happened when we were kids. It breaks my heart to hear because I don’t think anyone should hold on to guilt and pain for that long. And, of course, it is especially painful to hear because she is my mother. I have told her time and time again that she did right by us. We were always … [Read more...]
Ladies, 3 Character Flaws You Can’t Afford to Ignore When Choosing a Man
There is no perfect man or woman out there. If you are searching for the perfect one, go ahead and relax because you won’t ever find what you are looking for. But if you are looking for the right partner to spend a lifetime with, don’t give up. He’s out there. I am sure of it. I think we all have a match out there. Finding someone you love and are able to spend a lifetime … [Read more...]
3 Things to Consider if You Are Only Staying with Him for the Kids
I grew up without a dad. He was a part of my life when I was under the age of 10, but not a consistent part. Sometimes he was present, but most of the time he wasn’t. I’m not sure why my mom put up with his foolishness, but I suspect she did it for us. She didn’t want us growing up without a father. There wasn’t any indication that she was head over heels in love with him. … [Read more...]
Single Ladies, Stop Believing Everything You Hear on Your News Feed About Men
Two weeks ago, I celebrated my eight wedding anniversary. I can’t believe it’s already been eight years. Moreover, I can’t believe I have known my husband for more than 20 years. It’s been an amazing ride. So how have these eight years of marriage been? They’ve been pretty good. We’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s to be expected. We made it through the downs together and … [Read more...]
5 Comforting Tips for Women Whose Husbands Are Fat-Shaming Them
I spent a good part of my childhood hoping to lose weight. The only childhood memory I have of being thin is when I was about 4. Growing up in a home where rice, beans and fried plantains were staples was hard for a girl who loved food. Food served as my comfort for years. I have to admit that even though I am now a certified health coach, food still is my comfort. I’ve just … [Read more...]
5 Family Traditions That Really Matter
[tps_header]I didn’t grow up in a home where we had a lot of money. Raised by a single mom in Brooklyn, we always knew our mom did the best she could with what she had. I hope she knows it was more than enough. We always had food to eat. We always had clothes to wear. We always went to school. And we even had two working televisions in the home. Life was good. Sure, there … [Read more...]
Should Making More Money Make You the Boss in Your Home?
My husband makes more money than I do. I don’t think it means anything special. It’s just a fact. I appreciate all he does for our family, and he knows it, but his income is simply a fact. It’s been a fact since we got married. Will it always be a fact? Maybe not. If I keep hustling the way I am, probably not. There may be a moment when we sit down and I say, “Babe, looks … [Read more...]
My Husband Stopped Being Romantic, and I’m Over It. But He Still Wants Sex
I was recently sent an email from a BMWK reader. In it, she sought help. She was feeling neglected in her marriage. Her husband had stopped displaying affection and stopped giving her attention, but he still expected intimacy. She admitted that her desire to have sex with her husband had dwindled, but that was mostly because she felt she was no longer mentally engaged. She … [Read more...]
5 Relationship Issues You Need to Address Before the Year Ends
As we approach October, we all recognize that we are in the final quarter of the year. Sure, that means a lot to folks in the business world, but it should also mean a lot to you on a personal level. So often, we take the start of the year as a time to identify what we want to change about our lives and relationships in the coming year. Now there is nothing wrong with … [Read more...]
11 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Are Sick of Waiting for the Ring
Someone recently asked me how long is too long to wait for a ring. I didn’t have an answer because I think so many things can factor into how long a woman is willing to wait for a proposal. The choice to wait or not to wait is such a personal decision. I dated my husband for about six years before we got engaged (and we were friends for four years before we started dating). … [Read more...]
Ladies, If He Really, Truly Loves You, He’ll Do These 5 Things
I believe that love does not conquer all. And not only do I not believe it, but as a happily married woman, I have no problem sharing that belief with others. It’s not that I don’t believe in the importance or power of love, because I do. I’m actually a romantic at heart (no really, I am). The thing is, I am also a realist. And as a realist, I really can’t sit here and tell … [Read more...]
4 Questions to Consider Before You Quit on Your Marriage
If you’ve ever wondered what your life would be like if you didn’t marry your spouse, you’ve probably faced some tough times in your marriage. Sometimes, those rough patches are related to major issues like infidelity, but not always. Sometimes, it can just be a compilation of unresolved issues that have taken place over the years. Whatever the case, thinking about being … [Read more...]
5 Terrifying Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship
Have you ever had a friend who seems to be in love with the idea of being in love (but not so much with the actual person she is dating)? Are you that friend? So what’s the problem with that? Well, when you're more in love with the idea of a relationship than the actual person you are in a relationship with, then you're in store for a host of problems. When you finally … [Read more...]