Recently, I sat in a Starbucks and couldn't help but overhear a couple’s very loud argument. Of course every couple disagrees. However, there was something a little extra with this one. All I could hear was the woman cussing the guy out. She yelled, called him an idiot, told him to shut the ___ up and eventually told him to just get the __ out. I was stunned by what I heard … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Support Your Spouse When They Need You the Most
Boy oh boy can life have its way with us. As long as we live, we will continue to experience the ups and downs that are thrown our way. Some of it can really knock the wind out of us if we don't have a strong enough support system. And your marriage should actually be that system. When life hits your spouse hard, it's not your job to hit them even harder. Couples should know … [Read more...]
One of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Marriage But Nobody Does It
I've said it before but it bears repeating. We are all imperfect. Sometimes, we do things that make absolutely no sense to anyone else in the world...but makes total sense to us. We second guess ourselves and overreact unnecessarily. Sometimes we don't know how to apologize or don't even want to apologize when we are wrong. And, we don't often consider the results of our … [Read more...]
2 Simple Words that Have the Power to Transform Your Marriage
When people talk about what it takes to have a happy marriage, more often than not, you will hear the words: love, communication and trust. And while each of those actions are crucial to marital success, there are two other words that shouldn't be overlooked; grace and gratitude. These are two simple words that carry a lot of weight and have the potential to transform your … [Read more...]
Couples: 6 Common Mistakes that Can Lead to a Breakdown in Communication
Communication is such a key ingredient for marriage. And if you ask most couples what the main challenge is in the marriage, nine times out ten they say communication. And even if the issue is really something else, it seems like it's communication because they don't know how to talk to each other in order to get to a place of resolution. They start off discussing (or arguing … [Read more...]
6 Ways to Apologize if You’re Not Good at Apologies
You aren't perfect. And neither is anyone else for that matter. As humans we do things out of emotion, from our hearts and not necessarily our minds. The funny thing is, we do that pretty often... make mistakes that is. Sometimes your own "stinking thinking" causes you to disappoint your spouse. And other times you just don't know the right things to do in certain situations. … [Read more...]
A Few Suggestions that Will Set Your Marriage Up for a Year of Success
It doesn't matter if you're newlyweds or if you've been married for 20 years or more, you must be intentional about preparing your marriage for success. It really won't work without you and your spouse's active participation. And, success looks different depending on the couple you ask. But one thing that I know for sure is that the majority of us want joy and happiness in … [Read more...]
Sex Doesn’t Fix Everything, But Here’s What It Will Do for Your Marriage
You'll find one common theme in almost every marriage resource offered; intimacy is important in a marriage. I've even shared it pretty frequently in many of my posts. And it's true, marriages need it. However, what I've learned in my relationship coaching is that it isn't the solution for every marriage challenge that surfaces. What Sex Doesn't Do When couples use sex to … [Read more...]
A Few Things to Remember if You’re Questioning if Your Spouse is Still “The One”
When your marriage is in a good place you feel good and you're optimistic about your relationship and its future. But oh boy...when it's not so great, you probably question and second guess everything about your union. You may have even wondered if you married the right person. Whenever you end up in that space, here are a few things to remember. Why you fell in love the … [Read more...]
How to Protect Your Marriage from Anything and Anyone that Poses a Threat
Unfortunately, there is so much sadness and evil in this world today. It's so easy to let some of what's happening around us affect our relationships. A culture of selfishness and hate could quickly have an impact on even the best of marriages. Seeing friends divorce and hearing stories of infidelity and pain, could have you looking at your own marriage sideways if you aren't … [Read more...]
4 Petty Habits Married Couples Just Need to Leave Behind in 2016
As we prepare to bid farewell to the year 2016, there are also some behaviors we need to leave behind. You know the ones...the ones that have caused us nothing but heartache and pain. The type of behaviors that have had a negative impact on our marriages. We can't welcome in the new without getting rid of the old. With a new year and a fresh start right around the corner, … [Read more...]
Do Black Women Really Have Cause to Feel Insecure?
A little while ago I wrote a post about being a jealous spouse. In that article, I shared my jealously from a few years ago over my husband’s new female friends he met as a groomsmen in a wedding. The post recently resurfaced on the BMWK Facebook page, and it received a very interesting response from a reader: “I'm so tired of hearing insecure or jealous from black people. … [Read more...]
Do You Have a True 50/50 Partnership? 5 Signs You Don’t
The official definition of marriage is a familial bond recognized legally, religiously or socially, granting the participating partners mutual conjugal rights and responsibilities. However, we all know marriage is so much more than that. It is the ultimate friendship and a real partnership. What I’ve noticed over the years is that a great many couples forget the partnership … [Read more...]
How Well Would You Score on a Marriage Performance Review?
One of the things I look forward to every year on my job is seeing what my manager thought of my overall job performance. It's beneficial to me because I am reminded of my strengths, but I'm also enlightened on my areas needing improvement. I’m usually aware of the things I could do to make me a much better employee. Sometimes discussing those things is necessary for my … [Read more...]
Does Your Spouse Feel As Good About Your Marriage As You Do?
How often do couples put careful thought into the question "is this marriage good for your spouse?" Unfortunately, not frequently enough for some. Focusing on our own individual needs seems to come natural for some. There is so much power in viewing your marriage from the lens of your spouse. Here are a few ways it could benefit your relationship. Thinking of your … [Read more...]