When Jada Pinkett Smith admitted to her past “entanglement” she used the term “emotional immaturity” and it left us all talking and wondering how to avoid emotional immaturity in marriage. When you are or have an immature spouse, your relationship requires more energy and effort from both you and your partner. Being emotionally immature can lead to stress, frustration and even emotional cheating.

Avoiding emotional immaturity in marriage means being responsible and accountable for doing the right things for your situation. Doing the ‘’right thing” will vary by relationship and depend on the needs of each individual within that partnership.

Avoid Emotionally Immaturity in Your Marriage | Do You Have an Immature Spouse?

You might be wondering how to identify emotional immaturity in your spouse or yourself and if you are, not to worry. We will walk you through 5 ways to avoid emotional immaturity in marriage and what to do if you are.

In this article:

• 5 Ways to Know if You Are Emotionally Immature
• To Thine Own Self Be True – Who Are You?
• Know Your Partner Like You Know Yourself
• How Committed Are You?
• Why Sacrifice is Important
• There is Just One Accord in Marriage
• What to Do if You’re Not There Yet

Emotionally immaturity is defined as how well you are able to respond to situations, control your emotions and behave in an adult manner when dealing with others (or don’t). I think we can all agree that adulting is hard and “managing” emotions is even harder. However, if you want a marriage or relationship that serves you and your partner well, as it should, it is surely worth pursuing.

5 Ways to Avoid Emotional Immaturity in Marriage

Are you starting to recognize that your marriage is requiring some things from you that have been a little bit more challenging to give? 

You are not alone. 

I don’t like the term that relationships take work, but I am realistic about the fact that they definitely require commitment, and not just any old commitment, a serious commitment. You have to really want to make it work. You have to love your partner so much that you are willing to sacrifice the things that serve only you. You have to be mindful of how you respond when you’re upset and how to be an adult about the things that bother you most. Let’s take a look at the 5 ways to know if you can actually do that and avoid emotional immaturity in your marriage. 

 

To Thine Own Self Be True – Who Are You?

Honest, in marriage and most other things, remains the best policy.

[quote] You must be honest about all of you; the good, bad, ugly, and in between. [quote]

Who you are and how you show up in your relationships is the first way to know if you are emotionally mature. Are you transparent about not only your strengths but also your areas of improvement? 

When things don’t go your way in your relationship how do you respond? Where and when are you not the best version of yourself? Avoid emotional immaturity in marriage by recognizing when you aren’t, but be willing to work at improving those things. If you don’t like how you show up, work at doing and being better. 

 

Know Your Partner Like You Know Yourself

The first way to avoid emotional immaturity in marriage is knowing yourself and the second is knowing your partner. 

Do you know their likes or dislikes? Are you mindful of what they need and when they need it? Knowing your partner means you are showing up for them in a way that supports who they are, even the parts you don’t like about them. Recognize that you or your immature spouse will not change overnight and be willing to work with who you or partner is at this particular moment. 

 

Eliminate the things that prevent you from being available to connect with your partner.

— BMWK (@blackandmarried) May 31, 2020

 

 

How Committed Are You?

To avoid emotional immaturity in marriage requires realizing that marriage requires commitment and some sacrifice along the way. 

How much are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of your partner? 

It’s not about being unhappy, cause there is room for both partners to be happy. You and your partner should feel a sense of joy as you continue to do what is necessary to make one another happy. 

Are you committed to doing the things that bring your partner joy? 

 

Why Sacrifice is Important 

Sacrifice is one of those ingredients most people miss in their relationships and it causes friction and disappointment. 

When couples disagree it means someone didn’t get what they wanted at that moment. If you are willing to give something up to make sure your partner feels loved and supported, you are surely on your way to avoid emotional immaturity in marriage.

You have to be willing to give more than you take.

 

There is Just One Accord in Marriage

The way to avoid emotional immaturity in your marriage is recognizing that you are in a partnership. 

You and your partner are a team and your marriage should feel like a united front as often as possible. Effective and clear communication, understanding, patience, and forgiveness are the key ingredients for being on one accord. Being in tune with one another’s needs and aiming to meet those needs will also keep you and your partner on the same page more often.

 

What to Do if You’re Not There Yet

If you feel like you are struggling with how to avoid emotional immaturity in marriage, it’s okay. We are all still a work in progress. You can start by noticing; noticing is everything and where true change can begin. 

Take note of who you are in your relationship and compare it to who you actually want to be. Are those two versions in alignment? If they are not, it’s time to create your action plan for getting closer to the partner you actually want to be. 

If you want to be a better communicator, be intentional about what you can start sharing with your partner. Can you share what you’re feeling or maybe what you need and can you do that today?

If you want to be better at acknowledging your mistakes and apologizing, think about the benefit to your relationship when you hold yourself accountable, and start holding yourself accountable. Start where you are and with what you want to change. 

Just doing a little something different is always a great beginning. Your emotional maturity will come if you are willing to do what’s necessary to show up as the best version of yourself in your relationship. 

 

BMWK, in what ways have you worked on emotional immaturity within your relationship? 

 

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