No one likes conflict. No one. Some people go out of their way to avoid it as much as possible. If you’re a conflict avoider by nature, it makes it difficult to get your needs met no matter where you are. When you fail to communicate what’s bothering you, your relationships, whether at work or at home, definitely suffer. But, if this behavior takes root in your marriage, it rots your union at its core. To combat this behavior and conquer conflict in your marriage, you must learn to become a master communicator.
3 Ways to Conquer Conflict and Master Communication in Marriage
In this article:
- Assume the best about your spouse
- Check your pride and ego at the door
- Speak the way you want to be spoken to
Relationships won’t experience growth without conflict. It’s just a part of being human. As we each mature, we view things through a different lens. Our attitudes and behaviors adjust and our spouse isn’t always put on notice about that change. As such, conflicts may naturally arise. When this happens, you have to protect your marriage by learning to communicate the right way at the right time. To conquer conflict, it’s not just about what to say and how to say it. It requires sensitivity and a desire to reach a mutually beneficial solution.
Assume the best about your spouse
One of the first things you must do in order to conquer conflict and master communication in your marriage is you should just assume the best about your spouse. Sure, you’re hurt. Whatever the conflict, you’ve been wounded. But in a loving relationship, that wound is usually unintentional. If you start on the road to resolution assuming your spouse either doesn’t know they hurt you or did so without intent or malice, that’s a great first step.
By approaching your partner with this mentality, it makes it that much easier to share what’s bothering you. And, it helps you disarm them before they can become defensive. It also leaves you open to really hearing what they have to say. Depending on the issue, the conversation may end quickly or go on for a while. Either way, you’ve created an open atmosphere for both you and your partner to hear each other out and reach a positive solution.
Check your pride and ego at the door
When you assume the best about your partner, this next step becomes much easier. Pride and ego are major culprits to communication breakdown. By checking them at the door, you remove the walls that make conflict resolution so difficult. Both you and your partner will know you’ve decided to leave pride and ego behind in a number of ways:
- the tone of your voice
- body language signals
- the look in your eyes
- the look on your face
Your verbal and nonverbal communicators are front and center when it’s time to address conflict. So if you wish to be a master communicator and move forward in your relationship, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable and leave your ego behind.
Speak the way you want to be spoken to
When you allow your pride and ego to take a backseat to resolution, your ability to communicate improves a hundredfold. Now, rather than biting words and a sarcastic tone, you can choose to speak the words you’d want to hear. A large part of communication failure is a direct result of an unwillingness to place ourselves in another’s shoes. But if you take a breath before you speak and empathize with the other position, it makes it easier to season our words with affection rather than bitterness, anger, or hatred.
Becoming a master communicator doesn’t require a degree or years of experience. All you need is a little humility, vulnerability, and empathy and you’ll not only master communication, but you’ll conquer conflict in your marriage.
BMWK, are you ready to conquer conflict in your marriage?