Happy New Year! It’s the year 2020 and what we hope will be the start of a new and exciting decade for you and your spouse. As I write this, my husband and I are celebrating 18 years of marriage! I can’t help but be grateful to God…well, especially since we met in church. That said, it got me thinking. What is a Christian marriage supposed to look like? Are we living it? If you’ve ever felt your Christian marriage wasn’t so Christian, here are 7 ways to put the “C” back into your relationship.
7 Ways to Put the “C” Back Into Your Christian Marriage
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We’re just coming off of the Christmas season and though the message this time of year often gets lost under trees and gifts, Jesus Christ is the reason for the season.
But celebrating the birth of Christ means little if you don’t intend to live out a relationship with God. This thought holds true for wearing the name Christian. Too often, many claim the faith Christianity even while denying the lifestyle of a Christian. If you’re married, this not only sets a bad example, but it sets your marriage up for failure.
In order to either put or keep the “C” in a Christian marriage, Christ must be the head and the ultimate source of your relationship. If you engage in the following 7 Cs with Christ first, then it’ll be a piece of cake to nail them with your spouse.
At the start of any relationship, you find yourself captivated to some degree by another person. Whether it’s things you have in common or you just find them attractive, you’re interested enough to desire to learn more about them.
The same goes for your walk with God. In order to put this C into your Christian marriage, you must first be captivated by God’s word. What does the Bible say about who God is and what He desires for his relationship with you? The more attractive you find God, the more you will take the time necessary to get to know Him.
As you spend time getting to know God, you will find it easier to once again be captivated by your partner. What does it say about what He desires for your relationship with your spouse? Your attraction will continue to grow and your relationship will continue to blossom.
Needless to say, it’s much easier to commit to someone you’re attracted to. Naturally, if you desire to be a Christian, that captivation must lead to a commitment. As you deepen your knowledge of God and his word, you’ll learn what he asks of his followers. His desire for your unwavering commitment is an important part of forming a lifelong bond.
The same holds true for your marriage. Once you’ve walked down the aisle, you’ve made a commitment for life with your partner. But that commitment is stronger as a cord of three strands between you, your spouse, and Christ. In order for your marriage to last a lifetime, you must have as strong a commitment to your spouse as you do to Christ.
As one of the more obvious Cs, communication seems like a no brainer. However, whether with your spouse or with Christ, it can be tough if you aren’t intentional. Communicate with God through prayer in order to communicate with your spouse in a Christian way. This means no cursing her out or cutting him off.
Prayer or making our gratitude and requests known to God is an essential part of nurturing that relationship. But once we’re done talking, it’s time to listen. If you can take the time to listen to God, you can take the time to listen to your spouse.
While God can do as he pleases, he saw fit to give us free will. He wants us to choose to follow Him not be dragged into it kicking and screaming. If our relationship with Him is to work just right, he wants us to choose to listen to His guidance and be obedient to His calling – even in areas you don’t agree.
If your marriage is to be the kind of Christian marriage you desire, then you must be willing to cooperate with your spouse, even in areas you don’t agree. While it may be challenging, it’s a necessary part of developing and maintaining peace.
I speak on this often in my articles because I know my husband and I couldn’t have made it through 18 years of marriage without it. God asks us to be a part of a body of believers for a reason. When you are surrounded by others who have the same values and maintain the standards of the scriptures, it’s much easier for you to do the same.
In order for you to collaborate with God, you must be willing to collaborate with the people of God. By their example, it will make it easier to understand and practice collaboration with your spouse.
A relationship with God is not possible without the kind of intimacy that comes from a deeply spiritual relationship. Through prayer, develop a special intimacy with your creator. This kind of connection makes maintaining the tenets of your faith so much easier. When you are weak, that connection strengthens you. When sin comes knocking at your door, that connection keeps the door tightly shut.
An intimate connection with your spouse operates in much the same way. The more you spend time nurturing the spiritual and physical intimacy with your spouse, the better your relationship. You are not only able to keep Christ in, but you also keep unwanted influences out.
Perhaps one of the more difficult but necessary Cs to manage is change. God doesn’t call you into a relationship with Him for you to stay the same. As you become more rooted in your love for Christ, you can’t help but set aside the ways that keep you farthest from Him. He will ask you to change. You must be willing to do it.
In your Christian marriage, your spouse will call you higher in your character. They will ask you to change…grow…mature. If you are to be the example that God wants you to be, change is not only necessary, but it must be evident.
A relationship with God naturally calls us higher as individuals. If you desire to be in a Christian marriage, then that call is welcome. Take these 7 Cs to heart and make 2020 the best year for your Christian marriage yet.
BMWK, are you ready to live out your Christian marriage?