This time of year, I tend to get a little lazy. The weather starts to get cold, and so does my desire to go to the gym. But working out is essential to building a strong and healthy body. I know it. Everybody knows it. Building a strong marriage is no different. Putting in the work is essential if you want a strong and healthy marriage. But unlike a trip to the gym, you have to show up every day for your relationship.
Strong Marriage: 10 Declarations to Make for Your Marriage Today
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Throughout our lives, we all develop a passion for something. Maybe it’s baking cakes, or fixing cars, or crunching numbers. We find things we enjoy and then we take the necessary steps to improve our skills. Too often, however, we don’t look at relationships the same way. It’s almost as though we think relationships…the good ones, just happen.
Back in our school days, sure, it was easy. When you clicked with someone, you spent your time with them almost every single day. As we mature into married men and women, it’s not easy to take on both the challenges of life and the complexities of relationships. We tend to manage one and hope for the other. However, building a strong marriage requires serious attention to both.
Declarations vs Promise – What is the difference?
What does it take to build a strong marriage? My husband works out often. He doesn’t always enjoy it, but to maintain a healthy lifestyle he understands it’s necessary. There are days when he heads out to run or go to the gym and I think, “man, that’s commitment!” While that’s true, I also know he has an exercise regimen written down that requires consistent attention. If he misses a day or three, he pays for it the next time he hits the gym.
What’s the point? Well, he made a promise to himself that he would take care of his body. But the regimen he has written down or committed to is his declaration or fulfillment of that promise. Rather than merely shooting from the hip, he is intentional about his workout.
When we get married, we make a lot of promises to our spouses. But what we do on a day to day basis indicates what we really believe about the importance of our relationship. In essence, we do what we intend to do. If we want a strong marriage, we have to be intentional about it. Taking some time to write down what that means is an important step to getting the kind of relationship you desire. Though hardly exhaustive, here are a few declarations that you can get started on today.
10 Declarations to Make for Your Marriage Today
- We will keep God as the head of our relationship – Most couples start their marriage journey in front of a respected person of faith. Before God, friends, and family, you pledge a lifelong commitment. Friends may change and family now begins with you and your spouse. However, God should always be front and center to make your marriage strong.
- We will not allow anyone or anything to come between us – Building a strong marriage means you fortify your position at home. Friends and family should not be allowed into the decisions you make as a couple. Nor should anyone else be privy to the kinds of intimate details meant only for you and your spouse.
- We will remain faithful to each other physically and emotionally – Don’t cheat. No matter what’s going on in your relationship or how challenging things get, don’t allow someone else to come into your arms or into your heart.
- We will build solid friendships with people of faith – It’s true when they say that “birds of a feather flock together.” If you want a strong marriage built on a foundation of Christ, be around other strong marriages built on a foundation of Christ.
- We will be respectful in private and in public – A snapshot of events on Facebook does not indicate you have a strong marriage. Don’t put up a front in public and then act the fool when you get home. Choose to be respectful toward your spouse no matter where you are.
- We will fight fair – Disagreements are bound to happen. Your spouse will do something to make you angry. No matter what the argument is about, fight fair. Don’t call each other names, bring up old arguments, or hit below the belt. Even when you’re angry, be an adult.
- We will take pride in serving each other – Give to your spouse in ways that no one else can. Whether it’s in the bedroom, in the kitchen, or anywhere else, no one else gets the kind of attention you give to your partner…and everybody knows it.
- We won’t let “divorce” become a part of our vocabulary – While this can fall under the category of “fighting fair,” it gets special attention for a reason. Too often, couples threaten divorce without thinking of the impact it has on the relationship. Strong marriages don’t happen when you always sound like you have a way out.
- We won’t put our children ahead of our relationship – Your children will be important to you. But what they need more than anything is a unified front between husband and wife.
- We will have fun – Enjoy your relationship with your spouse. Before you got married, you took the time to date each other and have fun together. That’s the lifetime you signed up for. Don’t let it go.
Whether it’s this list of declarations or one of your own, write it down; share it with your spouse; hang it on a wall; keep it in your wallet. It doesn’t matter where it is, just do it. Don’t just “hope” yourself into a strong marriage, declare it, one day at a time.
BMWK, what declarations will you make for your marriage?