By: Dr. Alduan Tartt
Now before you shoot me, let me scream to the top of my lungs… “I believe in the power of prayer!” I have seen God do too many amazing things in my life to believe otherwise. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that…Prayer Changes Things! James 5:16 states it clearly, “Confess your faults to one another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man (woman) availeth much.”
However, as a psychologist who works with couples every day I see Christian couples often ask, “Why is my marriage stressful if we are both Christians and pray?” It’s a good question because intellectually, we believe that being a Christian and praying each night should be enough to make marriage (and life for that matter) work.
If you think about it, however, you realize that it really doesn’t make much practical sense. For example, do you believe that being a Christian and praying nightly will make you a great…Business owner… Real estate agent… Athlete… Chef…without also doing the work?
Of course not.
FREE WEBINAR – Wednesday, May 23, 2018: The Four Biggest Marriage Killers of Christian Marriages in 2018 – SIGN UP TODAY
In order to be great at business, real estate, sports and cooking you have to put in the necessary work to develop and hone your skills. What does the Bible say about hard work? James 2:14-18 says “What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus, also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
In this short passage, the word “works” appears five times. So, it appears to me that God commands believers to exhibit faith and works. In fact, our works serve as evidence of our faith. How does this apply to Christian marriage? I’ll answer your question with a question…
How does it benefit your marriage if you are praying but…
- Using abusive language towards your wife…?
- Haven’t been on date with your spouse in months?
- Not having sex with your spouse so that your mutual intimacy needs can be met?
- Giving more attention to work, a smart phone, or social media versus your helpmate?
- You shut down, walk out or over talk your spouse while trying to resolve conflict?
The answer is obvious…It doesn’t. The real truth is that in order for your marriage to work, you must also behave as a Godly couple. This means that you must combine faith, prayer, and works. What do I mean by works?
You have to follow God’s instructions on how to develop and maintain a Godly marriage. Specifically, you have to learn the necessary marital, relationship skills to successfully build communication, intimacy, quality time, and fellowship that defines a Godly marriage. “Just praying” for your marriage is unacceptable and only part of the equation when God is demanding you to take action!
- Didn’t Paul actually have to send letters and visit churches around the world to establish the Church?
- Didn’t Queen Esther have to actually coordinate that dinner to expose Haman to save her
- Didn’t Peter have to actually evangelize after betraying his savior three times?
The answer is yes, yes, and yes! And you must do the same. You must put in work on your marriage for it to work and combine that with the power of prayer. The question I have for you is when would be a good time for you to work on your marriage? I mean really work on your marriage by building up your relationship skills as a couple so that you can have a strong Godly marriage?
I talk about this is in a system I call, The Fix My Marriage System where you’ll learn how to:
- Improve your communication skills so you can actually listen to your spouse
- How to resolve conflict without fighting and ruining your peace of mind
- How to rebuild trust and improve intimacy
First, however, I want to invite you to a FREE webinar entitled, “The Four Biggest Marriage Killers of Christian Marriages in 2018.” I want your marriages to thrive! Check out this page for more information on how to register and reserve your slot. The webinar will take place on Wednesday, May 23rd at 9PM ET.
We had many disappointed people last month because they registered too late and couldn’t
register so sign up now and text your spouse to watch with you. Register here for more information on how to fix and strengthen your marriage. You don’t have to spend another night going to bed angry.
Here’s what happens next…You sign up for the webinar here and I’ll teach you the 4 Biggest Marriage Killers so you can avoid them and your marriage can be blessed. One more thing, I’ll send you a gift, 99 Scriptures For Building a Strong Godly Marriage, right to your inbox for you to study as a couple just for signing up.
Sign up here to avoid the common mistakes Christian couples make to stress out their marriage
and claim your free gift. Remember, God wants your marriage to thrive! I want to help you learn the skills to make marriage easier, more fulfilling and peaceful.
BMWK, are you ready to get rid of the marriage killers?
About the Author: Dr. Alduan Tartt is a clinical psychologist with a focus on faith, mental health and relationships of all sorts (single, dating, marriage, family, sports, etc.). Dr. Tartt has a private practice and also speaks frequently at conferences, churches, organizations on improving relationships, families and mental health. Dr. Tartt also hosts radio and television shows and is a frequent guest on major media outlets. Dr. Tartt also counsels other healers and helpers (pastors, ministers, doctors, entertainers) who need to be encouraged, supported and filled up.