When I hear the phrase “well-oiled machine” I think of something smooth and efficient with little to no defect. But I also know it earned its reputation as a result of a lot of hard work by everyone involved with bringing the product to market. Take a BMW for instance. No matter the series, a BMW is a much coveted vehicle that has set the standard for many others. But it didn’t get that way over night. After years of design and redesign and with a clear vision as to how they would stand out above the rest, BMW can be considered a well-oiled machine by even its harshest critics.
In your average, run of the mill marriage, things move along; but there are few instances of growth and development…design and redesign, if you will. Not so with marriages that appear effortless, smooth, and efficient. What are they doing differently and how can you get in on the secret?
One of BMW’s slogans is “Designed for Driving Pleasure.” A marriage that runs like a well-oiled machine has to be designed to do so. While not an exhaustive list, below are six “P’s” that are designed to help your marriage run like a well oiled machine.
Start here. You ever notice when you’re given a design to successfully build something or get you to the right destination you have a sign that tells you where to start? Marriages that are smooth and efficient get that way because they rely on a power greater than the individual parts. If you want to enjoy the experience of a healthy marriage, check your ego at the door and give it up to God.
BMW didn’t get on top overnight. Your marriage won’t either. But with the right framework, you can get there. Getting to your ultimate goal in your relationship will require a lot of patience. There will be a lot of designing and redesigning involved. This can lead to lots of frustration and misunderstanding. But if you remain patient and tweak the areas that are lacking, things will begin to run the way they should.
I know it doesn’t sound sexy to plan your marriage. But, sexy is as sexy does. If you don’t envision the end goal, the product of your efforts, you’ll keep making the same mistakes and not know how to fix them. Planning leads to a well prepared heart and mind that can handle whatever kink gets thrown into your relationship. So do your relationship a favor and take the time needed to set yourself up to win.
Regardless of how much planning you do, there will be variables that get tossed in the mix. But you can keep important safeguards on hand that will help protect your relationship from any of these events. When things start churning the right way, not everyone will be rooting for you. Protect your love by communicating openly about the challenges you each face. Then utilize agreed upon rules or avenues that form a strong protective shield around your relationship.
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Just like a BMW that’s designed for driving pleasure, a well-oiled marriage is designed for life’s pleasure. When your relationship is on point, you are laughing, talking, texting, sexting. You enjoy each other’s company regardless of whether or not you’re in the same room. When something great happens, your spouse is the first one you want to tell. When you’re feeling horny, you can’t wait to get home and get some. A well-oiled marriage simply feels as good as it’s designed to be.
Another one of BMW’s taglines is “The Ultimate Driving Machine.” Now, that’s what you call a promise. They all but guarantee that you won’t find another vehicle that you will want to drive as much as theirs. When your marriage is operating on all cylinders, you know you won’t find another partner who makes you feel the way your spouse does. As you design and redesign your relationship, you are strengthening the commitment you made at the altar. And it’s a commitment your spouse knows you promise to keep.
There are so many other practices that are part and parcel of the ones above. But if you start with these, you will learn to identify other things specific to the needs of your relationship. Then, by putting them into practice, you will eventually get to the place your well-oiled marriage is destined to go.
BMWK, Are you ready to see your marriage run like a well-oiled machine?