A soul mate is defined as “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” I always thought the term “soul mate” was just a cute way to define that person closest to you. But it wasn’t until years into marriage and even daily, that I’m reminded that I’m truly married to my soul mate. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God hand-picked us for each other, and that we couldn’t make a better team. So how can you tell if you are married to your soul mate?
5 Signs You’re Married to Your Soul Mate
In this article:
I recently came across this quote that breaks down the difference between a soul mate and a life partner:
“Your soul mate makes you feel entirely intact like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.” ~ Dr. Carmen Harra
And it hit me: I would absolutely feel like a big piece of my puzzle was missing if my husband were not by my side. He uplifts, encourages, supports and just “fits” like no one else ever could. So when I sat down to really think about what characteristics define my soul mate, here is what I came up with:
1. You pick up the phone to call each other (or text each other) at the same time.
This happens frequently with my husband and I. And then we laugh about who was going to do it first. It’s that divine connection that keeps you bonded in thought even when you’re miles apart. When we have conversations, we are generally already in tune either with new ideas or topics that we may need to revisit.
2. That one phrase in your vows, “until death do us part”, terrifies you because, in actuality, you can’t imagine living without this person.
No matter what challenges may arise, your soul mate is worth sticking it out for. That bond is great enough to carry you through the trials so you can turn them into testimonies.
3. You learn to love even what may seem unlovable.
We all know that no marriage is without imperfections. But when you’re married to your soul mate, you learn to not only look past those imperfections but to love those imperfections as well. You understand that it’s a package deal and would rather live with than without.
Also, check out Marriage is for Soul Mates not Roommates
4. There’s a level of comfort and safety that is indescribable.
No matter what heartache or obstacle you might be dealing with, the mere presence of your soul mate can make it that much more manageable. Your soul mate makes you feel like you’re constantly on cloud nine, and that there is nothing you can’t achieve. You always feel at ease when you have your soul mate to turn to.
5. Everything is intense with your soul mate.
Your love is more sensual. When you hurt, you cry harder. During moments of fun and joy, you laugh longer (and louder). You make love more passionately because there is that deep connection. The physical connection between soul mates is just as powerful and satisfying as the emotional and spiritual connection.
All in all, soulmates just get each other. We never have to try to be more than we are. We thrive off of the bond that we share.
BMWK: Are you married to your soul mate? What other characteristics would you add to determine whether or not you’re married to your soul mate?
Editor’s Note: BMWK originally published this post on May 30, 2014. We have updated it for quality and relevancy.
Kevin L. Warmack, E.J.D. says
I married my soulmate on Sweetest Day, October 15, 2005. We met on a local radio station’s love line and have been inseperable ever since. Yes, there may have been some hurdles and hills and valleys but our love is still strong.
Christine St. Vil says
Hi Kevin, that is such a beautiful story, congrats to you both and wishing you continued blessings (we got married 9/15/2005).
I don’t care what people say. Soul mates do exist and we have to be so close in our walk with Christ that we hear him when it’s time for that person to walk into our lives. I was in my early twenties when me and my soul mate were dating. Our busy careers and me having to move for a promotion had us living in different states, which eventually brought our relationship to an end. Well fast forward 8 years later and him attempting to contact me (for 8 years straight to rekindle our relationship) at a relatives house in my home state went unnoticed during that time. When we finally caught up with one another I was married and pregnant with my second child. Needless to say, I’m in a unhealthy marriage and waiting until my children are older enough so that I can divorce this sinner husband of mine and move on.
You only find true love once in a lifetime and I know in my heart he is the only man for me…… I may have missed out on true love, but I tell people all the time when you find someone that truly loves you, supports you, encourages you, and prays with you, don’t let anything get in the way of the two of you being together.
I pray one day God will bring me and my soul mate back together again……
Wow very powerful words. From a women who has been married 7 years, staying in an unhealthy marriage for the kids sake is wrong. If it’s unhealthy for you the mother it’s unhealthy for them the kids. Life is too short to be waiting on any man Except my Father Jesus Christ .
Wow, so very powerful. Thank you so much for sharing what I know can’t be easy. I pray that you find a way to do what’s best for you and your children.
I pray one day God will bring me and my soul mate back together again and allow us to get married and enjoy each other forever and a day…waiting and expecting the miraculous! I believe and receive it!
AL TYSON says
We Rev Al & Joyce Tyson Relationship Counselors (23) years love your website. Thanks so much for standing up for the covenant relationships honor by our Father.
Just asking a question says
I do believe in soul mates. However, If you saw dating site on your husband’s phone and he say’s it’s a pop up what would you believe?
Just making a statement says
What if you only have one out of five?
I love my wife, but I’ve never had any of the five experiences described above with the possible exception of #2, because divorce isn’t an option. I do believe that I’ve met my soulmate but she’s a married friend who will always be nothing more than that.
I’ve met my soulmate. Unfortunately, we are both married to other people. Married too young and for the wrong reasons. My spouse and I are definitely what you would describe as non- intimate “roomies” or life partners, I guess. We play the part of happy couple. We have two beautiful teens. We get along, but there’s nothing there. There’s no growth, no commonalities, no real enjoyment and definitely no intimacy. It’s as if we are brother and sister. Was not looking for anyone else. I met my soulmate in my line of business and we just clicked, connected. We have feelings for each other, but we won’t disrespect our marriages. I’m just trying to deal.
Wow……right this second my wife is downstairs working because she has better things to do than enjoying quality time with her husband. I can assure you that my soulmate is not downstairs working. #sadreality
Christine @MomsNCharge says
Thanks so much for stopping by the site, we’re honored to inspire and encourage.
I met my soulmate at the age of 15. We dated for a split second but remained good friends. We dated again in our early twenties, made love for the very first time, but we definitely were not mature enough to handle the intensity of our feelings or the relationship. So we broke up and distanced ourselves and tried to go through life looking for less and needing less in other people. 8 years go by and life kicks in, but you don’t really live cause you always have thoughts of each other lingering. You miss the laughing, the talking, just thier presence. Finally, one of you goes online and with a few clicks you both are in touch again. You both have separate lives, marriages, families and now you are into a 13 year affair that is so complicated and crazy. 20 years of an emotional connection.When your best friend and soulmate is not your partner you invite chaos and confusion into your life, and ultimately, unhappiness.
So why am I posting this? One, I absolutely believe in soulmates and the kind of intimacy and connection the author writes about. Two, I don’t believe that we as a community understand the importance of the marital relationship for the survival of the black family. And i dont mean people who are just married in name, i am talking about people who are married, committed, and share a deep and intimate love. And three, from my own tragic experience, not acknowledging and identifying earlier in life what was of real value, what real happiness would look and feel like, I have a trail of mess, junk and baggage to clean up and I pray for the time and opportunity to make it right going forward. I guess I am trying to say to anyone who hasn’t found their soulmate, be patient, invest the time in getting to know people on a deeper less superficial level, don’t waste time, don’t try to create a dominate, and when you find him or her, don’t be afraid, don’t let fear rob you.
I am always a bit leary when I come across such articles as this one. Today, I decided after changing one of my many passwords to new beginning that I would and am ready to give love a try. I struggle/d with the word soul-mate because I could not recall being in love ever. During my younger years, I was in lust. Now, as a seasoned woman I would like to think I know the difference. I must admit, Happily Ever After post happens to be one of several I look forward to reading. It’s inspiring, encouraging, uplifting and it offers hope for those of us who have yet to have the desire of the heart fulfilled by way of marriage. This speaks volumes as I am the person who disconnected from the sermons that did not apply, the conversations that were heart-wrenching in matters of love. Recently, a close male friend of mine told me, he and I needed to trade places as he falls in love easily and I on the other hand have had no recollection of being in love. I must tell you, I printed this particular blog as I thought to myself, I want this daddy God and if it is in your will, so be it unto us, unto me. It seems to me, that in order to have a soul-mate, the relationship has to be one of a higher level of intimacy. In closing, thank you for this space, thank you for giving me something to think about, thank you to all contributors who write about matters of the heart and love. Thank you Christine St. Vil. Here’s to having faith in God and in believing my path will cross with my soul-mate’s, we will recognize it, and behave accordingly. Hopefully our paths shall cross one day soon. If not, life continues at 50 and loving it!
A Single Black Woman’s thought.
I hope I have finally met my soul mate…except..he lives in South Africa and I here in America. He is everything I have ever wanted, and he is a true man of God, a missionary. I pray that God will make a way for us to come together soon..
never met my soulmate, please pray for me, never been married either and im 32+
Wonderful article! It speaks to my union with my husband whom i love and we are indeed soulmates. Trusting God even in strange cnnections but he has that other half for you! Our trials will be our powerful testimony. God bless the married soulmates and those awaiting.
Torell Palmer says
I pray one day God will bless me with a soul mate. I loved this man for five years and engaged to him for two years. All of a sudden his jealous co-workers broken our relationship. He stopped talking to me and a few days ago. He message me on face back telling me he’s moving on. I had to find out through social media. I’m hurt but hopes that God will restore my strength to love again.
My husband and I were best friend since we were little then we become older so we start to be in a serious relationship then we got engage then last year we got married. I am so thankful for my husband he is definitely my soul mate sometime we start calling each other at the same time when we realize we kind repeating each other name we start laughing like little kids. I love him very much I cant imaging to leave without him.
Powerful thank YOU for sharing
As a Christian women my eyes have seen the Glory of Lord. I have been in some awful awful relationships. Before and after I gave my life to Christ. I pray to God to keep game playing men away from me who I may desire to be in a committed relationship because my decisions are not good in this area. God is giving me glimpse of how a marriage should work which this never happen before. I pray all time for God to help me in this area. I pray everyday for God to send me someone. I ask pray warriors to pray for me in this area. My self esteem did get low. I did pray to God to help me in this area. I pray to God build my confidence in myself. I want to be a good wife. I want to be a special wife. I pray to God for me to be a loyal wife. I pray to God to protect, bless and help my husband to treat me like the Queen that He has made me. He put his wife and family first. I’m asking for prayer in this area.
i met my soul mate on a dating site in 2012 and got married on 24th Jan 2015
it`s amazing how we text the same time and send the same messages.me 63.first wife walked out with another man 11 years ago
Unfortunately, neither of these 5 things go on in my marriage. Including some others …
K. Charles Lloyd says
I don’t know what’s that like. Based on the above description. I am way off course. The relationship that I had was off the mark and did not have anything in common. Even though it appears to be so in the beginning but at some point. It all come out and down hill from there.
For me, I need to to rebuild and get some help all around. I am pessimistic about all this.
K. Charles Lloyd says
I have too many disappointments in my life and hard to trust someone on a intimate level. I doubt that I will get a response on this one. Just pray for me and others like me.
Torell Palmer says
Everyone is different and sometimes we look for other people to make us happy. The truth is that will not happen because you have to love yourself before you can love another person. The real connection begin when you open your heart because in order to have a good relationship it takes time, effort and most importantly truthfulness. Everything else will fall in place if you put God first. Intimacy is a good thing but it should not be first on the list. My opinion it ruins a good relationship because sex is never good. However love making is when two people are ready and willing to share the rest of their life together. Since everyone has there own tradition I can’t speak for anyone else but from experience I rather wait for the right person.