The Talk
I knew I couldn’t call myself a Christian for almost a year before I told my wife. It was her worst nightmare about me – about us – come true. Not only was I not Christian enough, I wasn’t even Christian any longer. For months I felt I was living a lie. I couldn’t attend church any longer either.
I knew I had to tell her because she deserved to know. She deserved the chance at the family she always wanted – at the husband she always wanted.
Once I decided to tell her, I had to put it in a way she would most understand where I was coming from.
I took an easel with that huge presentation paper and wrote one sheet…
Things Most Christians Believe
This list contained things such as Holy Trinity, tithing, physical existence of Heaven/Hell, etc. Once again, things MOST Christians agree on, but if someone said they didn’t cut for tithing, you wouldn’t necessarily revoke their Christian card for the indiscretion.
On the next page I wrote at the top…
Things All Christians Believe
On here I listed items such as Jesus was the son of God, 10 Commandments, the only way to Heaven and the Father is through Jesus, etc. This list was vastly shorter than the previous one, but much more concrete. Cross any one of these from a believer’s faith, and it would be hard to still rock the Christian title.
I told my wife we needed to talk one night after she came home from work, I sat her down, and went over belief by belief and where I differed on each one – and why. I gave her speeches, and articles, and quotes, and anecdotes. I gave her everything I had – I gave her myself. And as the night went on, I crossed out item after item – believe after belief – from both pages.
Hours later, by the time I flipped to the third page, I only had one question written…
“If I don’t believe these things, how can I continue to label myself a Christian?”
She didn’t hesitate, when she responded matter of factly, “You can’t.”
Then she said, “I understand. Thank you for sharing with me. I still love you.”
We spent the remainder of the evening going back over many of my observations. She asked questions, gave her opinions, and validated my thoughts with her time and genuine interest to understand my perspective. We talked for hours. My fears were lifted. We also knew that we had a lot more to discuss about our future, but those conversations would have to wait on another night.
That was five years ago. Since then we’ve welcomed a beautiful boy in to the world. She still reads her daily devotionals. I’m looking forward to our 10 year anniversary next next year.
My son has yet to ask my about David Koresh. Guess he’s still too into Frozen.
Faith is something that is experienced. Christianity can not be intellectualized because our definitive minds would try to rationalize everything and we either limit God and put him in a box based on our own limited experiences as human beings or try to eliminate him entirely. Certainly God does exist. The unexplainable such as the making of the sun, moon, stars, human beings, animals, etc. We all did not just evolve from one being or one cell. If you ask God to open your heart to receive his love instead of trying to rationalize everything in your mind, then you will see that He exists and that Jesus is real. The bible says that hell has enlarged itself. Satan has caputured your heart and those of unbelievers and he will do everything in his power to bring you down to hell with him. I rebuke Satan off of your life and I pray that God will enter your heart and show you the TRUTH about His word. Heaven and Hell is real and it does exist and don’t wait until its too late for you to get saved. Jesus died for us so that we would have eternal life in heaven. I am writing this to you because I too grew up in a household that didn’t believe but I had an experience with Jesus that was life changing and now I know JESUS IS REAL. My prayer for you is that you would have an experience and encounter with JESUS that is LIFE CHANGING. That you would accept HIM into your heart.
There are ways to overcome within the marriage. Seek wisdom always, and it resides inside our hearts. The Spirit is within so wisdom is within. Here is help for the married Christian or skeptic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQXiBbg8PQ4&list=PLv_mPC6G9j1UrgH5Ih-2LuYBaxZfkO–s
I agree whole heartedly, you cannot intellectualized christianity, and rationalize Jesus Christ in your mind. True christianity is by faith and believing by faith,and you live by faith that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died for all of our sins that we may have eternal life with him. This can only be revealed to you by God by reading his Holy Word (BIBLE). By reading and believing by faith his Holy Word you will develop a personal relationship with him, and truely know for yourself that Jesus Christ is real. Satan has gotten him where he wants him and where he wants all of us, which is to have doubt in what we believe, and end up in hell with him. Satan is already condemned to hell and he wants to take as many of us with him. I also pray for him and others that Jesus Christ will reveal himself to them and touch their hearts and comeback or come to Christ, you will never regret it if you truely give your life to Christ.
The simple fact that his wife said that he couldn’t be a Christian if he didn’t believe in certain things, BUT she loves Him that’s a clear sign of Christianity. He thought she would pack up and go with someone else but she’s showing Gods love in real time by not leaving him but remaining with him and treating him no different than before. This is real Christianity!
Christianity is intellectualized all the time, so why can’t unbelief? Double standard.
You’re right – I’m a lucky guy.
Do see how ridiculous this is? You say that a clear sign of Christianity that she loves him? Your god must not be a Christian because he refuses to forgive humans simply because they don’t believe in him. He is jealous and sentences them for ETERNITY without a chance of parole. How idiotic is that?
The very words you use, are confusing. God does not refuse to forgive. People choose not to believe in Him and thus condemn themselves. Condemnation comes as a result of a oerson’s choice not to accept Him. The evidence of His existence is clearly seen through nature, if nothing else. And if you can see the rising of the sun which none can explain its origin is or the sea which stops where he commands, but still don’t acknowledge him, then that is your choice.
Who would force someone to be in a relationship they don’t want to be in. So if you deny Him, why would you then want or expect him to forgive you? The death of Christ was big enough wide enough and deep enough for ALL to be saved but it is only applied to those that want to spend eternity with Him. So condemnation to Hell or conversely entrance to heaven, is an individual choice.
I pray you rethink your assertions, perhaps you received some bad “church” teaching. But read for yourself and you will see your assumptions might have some problems and peace is available as you search Him.
God Bless
There is a chance,the chance is called Jesus Christ,who does forgive and in exchange for eternal damnation you receive eternal life. Faith is the key that opens that door.If you choose not to believe ,that is your choice,and choice is your God given right. Regardless whether you believe or not,God’s love remains the same for you as it does for me.Eternal damnation is man’s choice,not God’s.
I don’t think he was questioning whether a Higher Power exists. But what name you choose to call God and what the author chooses, makes him no less of a human. You can’t force your beliefs or someone that has chosen to pick up additional resources and do research outside of the Bible.
The majority of you only quote what religion has taught you. This is the reason we are constantly at war as a country – simply because we don’t respect others freedom to worship as they choose. How many of you really know who King James was? And why was his version of the Bible chosen? How many stories of a resurrection came before the story of Jesus? I challenge you to learn some history outside of the Bible and focus more on spirtuality rather than the rules of a particular religion.
Most of you are only quoting what you were taught and have never done any research outside of the Bible on your own. You have to give respect to someone’s opinion who took the time to do so.
I can’t believe a Christian website would post this. There’s numerous websites for non-believers but I didn’t want to see things like this on a Christian website. Obviously I wouldn’t go to an Islamic website and leave a negative comment because their faith is personal. But to go to a Christian site and see this. Wow. And then not moderate the comments. Unbelievable. This is about building up Christian families I thought, not entertaining debates about the faith of the readers! Wow.