Like all things in life, being married can get stale. It doesn’t mean the love has faded or the marriage is in huge trouble. It’s just a part of the normal flow of life that can happen to the best of us.
When you look at all the responsibilities that come with being married, particularly if you are also raising children, the days can easily become a blur, and paying attention to all the little things that can add some sizzle to your marriage becomes a thing of the past
From raising kids, to caring for aging parent, to juggling demanding professional lives—there are many reasons why we unintentionally let our marriages fall to the bottom of the priority list. And although all of these may seem like noble reasons to lose sight of your marriage, they really aren’t.
Once you make that commitment to stand by someone until you are parted by death, that relationship has to always be a priority. Why? Because your marriage should be one of the things that sustains you in your darkest moments.
If your relationship is a priority and it remains in tact, your ability to manage everything else that life throws your way is increased. It doesn’t mean a strong marriage makes life easy peasy; but it can definitely give you a soft place to land when life is too much.
So what do you do when you are stressed out, overwhelmed, and are starting to feel disconnected from your spouse? How do you find the time and energy to give your marriage a makeover and bring life back to what was once amazing?
Here are 3 tips to help you makeover your marriage and give your relationship a much better look.
Schedule Quality Time
I know spending quality time together might seem so much more special if it happens organically, but get over that notion. Time together is critical, and if you have to plan it to make it happen, it’s time to whip out your calendars.
You may not need to plan things forever, but if life is currently so busy that you can’t remember the last time you were intimate or went on a nice date, you need to accept that some planning may be necessary.
Scheduling time alone may not seem romantic, but when you realize how much that time is positively impacting your union, you really won’t care that it was planned—and soon you won’t have to plan it that much. It will happen naturally.
Eliminate the Noise
Social media, electronic devices, nosy neighbors, meddling family members – the list can go on and on. We all have too much noise in our lives, and the more we can eliminate the noise, the more at peace we are.
I am not suggesting you throw away devices, delete your social media accounts, or cut off family members (well, maybe some of them), but I am suggesting that you reduce how much those things impact your life. Examine how much energy you put into managing the noisemakers.
That is energy you could be using to cultivate a healthy marriage instead. Noise serves it’s purpose at times, but too much can leave you feeling drained and annoyed, which definitely doesn’t give you much time to focus on what matters most—like your spouse.
In addition to making self-care a priority, you need to support your spouse on their journey towards self-care. Encourage the one you love to take time for going to the gym or getting a massage. Cook healthier meals.
Make suggestions about doing new things together that are fun, like hiking or playing basketball. When people look good they feel good, and when they feel good, they want the people they love to feel good too.
Focusing on creating a better version of yourself is one of the best ways to help you turn things around in a relationship that’s starting to feel dry and stale.
BMWK family, what are some tips you have for a successful marriage makeover?