Couples, I have to start this post with a few very important questions. Do you still desire your spouse? And if so, how do you let it be known? Is it in the way you look at them? Or can they tell in the way you speak to them? It could be the way you touch them. Whatever way you choose, there are several ways to spice up your sex life, if you’re willing. Keep reading to learn more.
Ways to Bring More Excitement to Your Physical Intimacy, Inside and Outside of the Bedroom
In This Article:
- Defining Intimacy for Yourselves
- What’s Happened to The Intimacy?
- Ways to Bring More Excitement to Your Physical Intimacy
Defining Intimacy for Yourselves
Every couple has to determine what intimacy looks like for themselves. That happens when couples actually have open conversations about their sex life. It’s so much bigger than a discussion on how many times a week sex should take place. This conversation needs to be specific and focus on a few things, like how each partner wants to be touched. It should also include an understanding of what stimuli is needed to get each partner in the mood for intimacy. The main topic a conversation should include when discussing how to spice up your sex life, is what turns each partner off. While it’s great to know what turns your partner on, it’s also important to know what your partner does not like. Sometimes, it’s the tone you use, or an outfit you wear. Other times it is something a bit more serious as well, like you don’t know how to please them, or the sex ends too prematurely. As uncomfortable as it might be to talk about these things, you and your partner will not be able to increase intimacy in your marriage if you don’t put all your cards on the table. Your spouse is the only person in this world you have this level of intimacy with, so for that reason it should not only be discussed, but defined so that you both have the same vision for the sexy part of your relationship.
What’s Happened to the Intimacy?
When you find that intimacy is missing in your marriage, it might feel easier to point fingers and blame your spouse. Maybe they work all the time. Or they may have shown very little interest in wanting to be intimate. In order to find out what’s actually happened to your intimacy, start by understanding the source. Intimacy can be impacted by several things. If you and your partner are new parents, that can affect the amount of energy and interest you have left to even think about sex. In that situation, start by thinking about the support you both may need. If one partner feels overwhelmed, assistance may be needed to care for your new addition. Each partner has to ask for what they need and not leave the other in the dark.
Intimacy can also be impacted by each individual’s health. Take care of yourself by getting your yearly physicals, exercising, and practicing the proper self-care. Be open with your physician about everything so they can provide you with the best options to enhance your intimacy.
Another thing that might be causing your sex like to suffer is when you find your marriage in a dry spell. It’s just simply boring and feels as though neither of you desire the other. When that happens, it’s time for a marriage reset. You and your spouse will have to set aside dedicated time to recommit to your marriage. This can happen by pausing the everyday responsibilities and getting reacquainted by checking in with your spouse and creating new relationship goals. Many marriages experience dry spells. But there is also an opportunity to get back on track by trying just a little harder to bring the excitement back to spice up your sex life.
Ways to Bring More Excitement to Your Physical Intimacy
You can find a ton of resources on how to keep your marriage sexy and the passion hot and steamy. However, I will challenge you to think about what you want to experience, and what you want your partner to experience in the intimacy department. Consider what it could look like in your marriage. Think about your body and what it craves. Next, think about your spouse’s body and its needs as well. How can you make sure each of your bodies receives what it desires? You will have to explore intimacy from a place of curiosity, arousal, and excitement. No longer think of it as another one of the tasks on your to-do list. Make it fun and enjoyable to spice up your sex life. Start by playing a get-to-know-you game with your spouse. Instead of asking questions on this one, let your hands and or mouth get to know your partner by exploring their body. Kiss them in certain spots or touch them in an arousing way and see what type of response you receive. Allow their body to respond to you, naturally.
Another way to spice up your sex life is to start a private, sexy, erotica book club with just the two of you. You and your partner can each take turns selecting a sexy book excerpt to read to one another. Allowing the fantasy of it helps with the reality of your love life.
Use your words to say how you feel. Don’t be afraid to describe what you want, what you see, and how you feel when it comes to keeping your marriage sexy. Use expressive statements and adjectives to provide your spouse with the inside scoop of your intimacy experience.
Finally, think about how you can invest in your sex life. Start an intimacy fund if you have to. Understand what contributes to you and your partner’s best intimate moments and maximize on that. If it’s when the house is empty, invest in babysitting services, so the house can be empty. If it’s happened when you’re away from home, look for more opportunities to recreate that momentum. If there is a thrill when you’re sneaking off to make it happen, then sneak off to make it happen. Use what makes your best sexy moments work as often as possible.
You and your spouse have the power to make your sex life whatever you want it to be. It can be exciting, playful, sexy, and everything in between. It starts with defining what intimacy is for you and your partner, understanding why it might be missing, and then taking action to make it everything you both desire and more. When you invest in your intimacy, your spouse and your body will be forever grateful.
BMWK, in what ways do you and your partner bring excitement to your intimacy? How do you spice up your sex life?